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Old 10-07-2011, 07:09 AM
 
Location: Va. Beach
6,342 posts, read 2,142,222 times
Reputation: 2211

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President Obama walks into the Bank of America and says to a cashier, "Good morning Ma'am, could you please cash this check for me"? (Luckily there wasn't a swat team nearby to prevent him from cashing his check).

Cashier:
"It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID"?

Obama:
"Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am President Barrack Obama, the president of the United States .”

Cashier:
"Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the Government regulations, monitoring of the banks because of imposters and forgers, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."

Obama:
"Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."

Cashier:
"I am sorry, but these are government and bank rules and I must follow them."

Obama:
"I am urging you please to cash this check."

Cashier:
"Look, this is what we can do: One day Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putting iron and made a beautiful shot across the bank lobby into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and we cashed his check."

"Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and served an ace shot directly into the center of our bank logo 90 feet away. With that spectacular shot we cashed his check. So, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you?"

Obama stood there thinking, and thinking and finally says:
"Honestly, nothing comes to mind. I can't think of a single thing I can do."

Cashier:
"Will that be large or small bills, Mr. President?"

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Old 10-07-2011, 08:18 AM
 
Location: Va. Beach
6,342 posts, read 2,142,222 times
Reputation: 2211
Default The Infamouse Helicopter joke.

Obama looked at Michelle, chuckled and said, ‘You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy.’ Michelle shrugged her shoulders and replied, ‘I could throw 10 $100 bills out of the window and make 10 people very happy.’

“Hearing their exchange, the pilot of the plane said to his co-pilot, ‘Such big shots back there. I could throw both of them out of the window and make 256 million people very happy.’
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Old 10-07-2011, 09:00 AM
 
Location: Va. Beach
6,342 posts, read 2,142,222 times
Reputation: 2211
President Obama walked into the white house kitchen to find one of the staff stalking around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" he asked. (Like we can't figure this one out.. right??)

"Hunting Flies," she responded.

"Oh! Killing any?" he asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," she replied.

Intrigued, he asked,
"How can you tell them apart?"

She responded,
"3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
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