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Old 01-29-2012, 03:39 PM
 
Location: Lafayette, Louisiana
14,095 posts, read 23,581,108 times
Reputation: 7981

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I too use wipes (I use the cottonelle wipes). In my case, it's easier on my hemorroids.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Skydive Outlaw View Post
I'm not gay. . . . . .


However, my guy friends make "gay" jokes all of the time when referring to me and citing "gay" things about me - and it gets really annoying after awhile.

For example:

I go tanning. Usually medium pressure but occasionally Mystic Spray

I drive a Jeep

I have nipple piercings

My preferred cologne is Chrome by Azzaro (I'm still not sure why that is considered "gay")

I have a purebred Maltese dog (He roxx, and has the heart and courage of a lion - I don't care if it makes me seem "gay")

I drink Chambord Kamikazes (I'm still like, WTF. . . how is that "gay")

I paint my girlfriend's toenails, (Lancombe Passion Pink) although I still don't think that is "gay".

When they go through the CD collection at my house, they think it's "gay" that I have albums from Poison, Cinderella and White Lion.

I don't use toilet paper, but leave some available at my house for guests. I keep a supply of Huggie's Baby Wipes for that process everytime and they are in the bathroom at my house. I'm still confused about why my buddies giggle and laugh about that - like seriously, is a guy "gay" for wanting to stay extra clean around that part. I just don't get it.

And I guess I didn't help the situation, when on my last skydiving road trip to a drop zone in California, I stopped overnight in a town called Redding and the closest bar to the motel was called "Monroe's" and I went in to have a few beers and rock some karaoke, and wow - it turned out to be a gay bar. I didn't realize it until I went to use the restroom and looked at two doors. One of them said "Ladies" and the other one said "Queens".

I still haven't lived that one down yet.

Sky-O
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Old 01-29-2012, 03:45 PM
 
Location: Lafayette, Louisiana
14,095 posts, read 23,581,108 times
Reputation: 7981
A friend once thought I was gay for having an Air Supply greatest hits album. He asked "why do you have this thing?" told him it got me laid (she loved this group's songs).
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Old 01-29-2012, 04:21 PM
 
Location: Democratic Peoples Republic of Redneckistan
11,102 posts, read 13,132,417 times
Reputation: 3923
Quote:
Originally Posted by sailordave View Post
I too use wipes (I use the cottonelle wipes). In my case, it's easier on my hemorroids.
I've never really had a bout with assgrapes,but they say they are painful beyond measure...my condolences sir.

BTW...You didn't get them by being gay did ya?You know what they say about those sailors don't you.


j/k
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Old 01-29-2012, 05:09 PM
 
Location: Lafayette, Louisiana
14,095 posts, read 23,581,108 times
Reputation: 7981
Quote:
Originally Posted by muleskinner View Post
I've never really had a bout with assgrapes,but they say they are painful beyond measure...my condolences sir.

BTW...You didn't get them by being gay did ya?You know what they say about those sailors don't you.


j/k
Only three things ever went up my exit only door; rectal thermometer (as an infant), medication (severe vomiting), and a doctor's finger. Gay men and women are just as likely to join the Marines as they are to join the Navy. We did have gay men on our ship.
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Old 01-29-2012, 05:58 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 45,049,598 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by sailordave View Post
Only three things ever went up my exit only door; rectal thermometer (as an infant), medication (severe vomiting), and a doctor's finger. Gay men and women are just as likely to join the Marines as they are to join the Navy. We did have gay men on our ship.
No sailors BECOME gay on those long trips out to sea with no female company. When they do get to port they are like desperate wild animals.
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Old 01-29-2012, 07:33 PM
 
Location: Lafayette, Louisiana
14,095 posts, read 23,581,108 times
Reputation: 7981
For the majority of Navy deployments, we're at sea only a few weeks at a time before pulling into port (surface ships). If you can't hold out a few weeks then you have problems. For Desert Storm, we were at sea for months before setting foot on dry land. Unfortunately, our first stop was Dubai. Our next stop wasn't until Malaga, Spain (Antonio Banderres' home town). Now Navy ships have women. Some women on these ships earn some extra cash on the side while at sea working as a hooker. Illegal if caught, for both her and her customers.
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Old 01-29-2012, 08:05 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 45,049,598 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by sailordave View Post
For the majority of Navy deployments, we're at sea only a few weeks at a time before pulling into port (surface ships). If you can't hold out a few weeks then you have problems. For Desert Storm, we were at sea for months before setting foot on dry land. Unfortunately, our first stop was Dubai. Our next stop wasn't until Malaga, Spain (Antonio Banderres' home town). Now Navy ships have women. Some women on these ships earn some extra cash on the side while at sea working as a hooker. Illegal if caught, for both her and her customers.
She can just pretend it was all consensual, because she was just horny .

Btw the idea of a female sailor. Now that's hot!
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Old 01-29-2012, 08:11 PM
 
Location: Nantahala National Forest, NC
26,612 posts, read 5,615,380 times
Reputation: 29740
Gay?

This seems more like "metrosexual"


=nimchimpsky;22757849]some more i've heard (assuming we're only talking about gay men here):

a man is gay if he…

-has pedantic speech
-has girly handwriting
-carries and uses hand sanitizer
-carries and uses hand lotion
-waxes eyebrows
-waxes or shaves any body hair
-is in a female-dominated field, such as nursing
-quotes walt whitman
-quotes poetry, period (english professors excepted)
-goes shopping
-has a knack for interior design
-works out at the gym, but
-is allergic to sports, including even watching it
-watches the superbowl for the halftime show
-drinks tea
-sees or has ever seen a therapist
-is into healthy eating, organic, raw food, or is a foodie
-goes to a diner to order salad and tea, while everyone else is having a burger and coke
-has fluffy, decorative pillows on his couch
-takes interest in new age, astrology, yoga, etc.

just to be clear, i'm strictly joking. [/quote]
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Old 01-29-2012, 08:18 PM
 
9,969 posts, read 14,527,604 times
Reputation: 9193
Quote:
Originally Posted by nimchimpsky View Post
some more i've heard (assuming we're only talking about gay men here):

a man is gay if he…

-goes shopping
Right, 'cause real men will either steal clothes during plundering and looting foreign villages or simply just beat a man to death to take their sneakers or football jersey. None of that sissy going-to-the-mall to try on clothes horses**t. Just give me an XXXL and I'll assume that I'm fat enough to wear it after eating a non-stop diet of steak bites and nachos...

Quote:
-drinks tea
Yeah, damn those limey Brits and there girly afternoon tea-time! Real men drink cheap domestic lagers or whiskey with some sort of rugged Old South or Appalachian Hillbilly theme to it...

Quote:
just to be clear, i'm strictly joking.
Oh right... I guess I was too...
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Old 01-29-2012, 08:41 PM
Status: "Nevertheless, America's baseball team -- Roar, Tigers, ROAR!" (set 11 days ago)
 
Location: Nescopeck, Penna. (birthplace)
12,270 posts, read 7,416,756 times
Reputation: 15831
From my point of view, beach- and poolwear was the measure by which the issue of supposed sexual orientation was dictated bythe "New Puritans".

I didn't learn to swim or develop any taste for the sport until I entered college at 17 and was compelled to learn to swim. Although by that time the practice of nude swimming in indoor pools by all-male ghroups was very rare, we didn't wear the "tent-size" shorts which seem to be mandatory today -- just from below the navel to an inch or to below the groin. Men's gym shorts of the day had a similar cut.

"Speedos" didn't gain full acceptance until a couple of years later, particularly after Mark Spitz dominated the '72 Olympics. And during those first few years, the ladies seemed to actually prefer it. They were more or less de rigeur for serious fitness or competitive swimming, even at the Junior High level. Personally, I never had a problem with them, especially when swimming laps in a "fitness" environment, but I don't recall ever wearing shorts, even Bermudas, on the stereet. It was all dictated by the situation.

But for whatever reason, I can recall that at some point in the early 1980's, my 10-year-old "nephew-by-proxy" informed his Grandad and uncle that he would only swim in the "jams" that went below his kness -- traditional-length mens swimwear, not just Speedos, were "gay".

The judgement just seemed to hold on and strengthen from that point, and I think the growing number of boys raised in female-headed one-parent households is a factor. My local 'Y' hasn't ever actually outlawed briefer suits, but the "powers that be" have made their preferences known. I don't care to swim with too much drag, but fortunately, White Stag/Speedo now sells something along the line of bicycle shorts that go only a few inches down the thigh and still keep the latter-day Puritans satisfied.

Last edited by 2nd trick op; 01-29-2012 at 09:27 PM..
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