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Old 02-14-2012, 04:06 PM
 
9,848 posts, read 8,268,003 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
I dare you to survive living with my drunken, abusive sperm donor and then tell me how terrible it is to be the child of a divorced couple.
Wow, thats not a great job of picking the sperm donor. Hopefully no more attempts to have kids being planned with other abusive, drunk or drug using sperm donors in the future.
Also IMO ups the chances of causing a dependence on EBT, welfare and big daddy government.

Divorce is the worst, but picking disabled partners is not the best way to start IMO.
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Old 02-14-2012, 04:35 PM
 
Location: Earth Wanderer, longing for the stars.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucario View Post
So who decides who becomes the "positive role model"? The "family" courts aren't doing the job.
I think the courts do the best they can. Often it takes a nut to marry a nut. I think in most cases, neither parent is optimal, but you just have to make the best of it. My parents were divorced and I don't think either of them belonged together, frankly. I think they had their own unresolved issues and neither should have had children.

I am grateful that, at least, they did not have another child. We can only work with what we have and none of us is perfect.
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Old 02-14-2012, 04:43 PM
 
Location: Earth Wanderer, longing for the stars.
12,406 posts, read 18,935,415 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WesternPilgrim View Post
Here's what I'm proposing: that all legal marriages include the vow "'til death do us part", and that the same vow be legally binding. Please note that I am not proposing that anyone be forced to get married.

This won't solve everything, of course. There's lots more work to do. But it would be a good start, instantly creating a situation whereby marriage would be taken more seriously by the general public.
I remember back when my parents were together, divorce just was not done and they used to discuss the death notices and which spouse may very well have murdered the husband/wife. THat happens when you have to put up with an abuser/addict for years and have no hope of escape.

I am GLAD we can divorce these days. It actually saves lives.
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Old 02-14-2012, 05:00 PM
 
994 posts, read 723,847 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trackwatch View Post
FIRST it isn't lady ... almost all are for the reasons I stated, what is in the paper work is another matter.
Your wife must be one of those females so afraid of you she follows your every word.
Yes, the feminist party line - men are abusers, men who do not admit this support abuse, women who will not admit this are too abused themselves

"Almost all" are for the reasons you mentioned, despite that contradicting the divorce records. So where do you get your data from?

Oh well, at least you gender feminists are in the minority these days. And now that this is the case, a few honest studies are getting done and show that women and men hurt each other with equal frequency.
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Old 02-14-2012, 05:09 PM
 
21,026 posts, read 22,113,650 times
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Originally Posted by Kkaos2 View Post
Yes, the feminist party line - men are abusers, men who do not admit this support abuse, women who will not admit this are too abused themselves

"Almost all" are for the reasons you mentioned, despite that contradicting the divorce records. So where do you get your data from?

Oh well, at least you gender feminists are in the minority these days. And now that this is the case, a few honest studies are getting done and show that women and men hurt each other with equal frequency.
OK, let's see those studies......maybe cops would have an accurate study....
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Old 02-14-2012, 05:16 PM
 
30,876 posts, read 36,854,288 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WesternPilgrim View Post
FYI, FLDS and a few other sects still practice polygamy in the U.S.

It is well known that the government made the renunciation of polygamy by the Mormon church a requirement for Utah's statehood.
Yes, I know that to be true on both counts.

I think the FLDS often have girls marry under the age of 18, which is definitely not ok, IMO (although I'm not absolutely sure if that's a fact).
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Old 02-14-2012, 05:25 PM
 
Location: Earth Wanderer, longing for the stars.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WesternPilgrim View Post
This is a good subject to explore. Does a secularist believe in metaphysical truth? Because that's what drives belief in marriage for the bulk of humanity: a belief in moral and spiritual realities. So I'm wondering what kind of non-religious truth would motivate a couple to persevere through a difficult marriage.

From what source does a secularist derive his morality? What makes it binding on his conscience?
I think we all ingest moral teachings that make sense to us. To do otherwise, we would be automatons and hypocrites. I think we can build character and resolve without relying on religious myths which originated by men of early tribal societies.

Civilization evolves. It has to experiment and hits bumps in the roads, but change is inevitable in life. Either you change or you're going backwards. The good ol' days had some pluses and some minuses and I am sure what we are currently experimenting with will as well. I know if my parents had chosen my partner either I or my partner would be locked up or worse. I married, later in life, someone neither of my parents would have gravitated toward, but we have been together for over a decade and I have no thought of ever leaving him.

Heavens, I was so happy to get out of the house of my youth. I shudder to think if their decision had to follow me all through my life. Geeze, I probably would have been stuck with a kid alone, too. Ugh!

Again, perhaps we should be addressing creative child rearing. Other western societies have high divorce rates and single parent families. Do they have the same delinquency rates for males in single parent families? How have they attempted to solve these problems?
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Old 02-14-2012, 05:31 PM
 
Location: Earth Wanderer, longing for the stars.
12,406 posts, read 18,935,415 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WesternPilgrim View Post
Please, lady, do a little research before you start spouting off ignorantly. Very few divorces are for any of the reasons you mention. Most are for vague notions of "irreconcilable differences", "incompatibility", general unhappiness, or what have you.
And those 'irreconcilable differences' cover a multitude of problems. Some couples don't want to air their dirty laundry in court and some want to part as amicably as possible for the children's sake and because the fights, long silences, and drama are finally ending.

Please don't call another poster's comments ignorant. It is beneath you.
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Old 02-14-2012, 05:31 PM
 
30,876 posts, read 36,854,288 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WesternPilgrim View Post
Sure, but the legal framework is a product of the culture, which is a product of religion (or a lack thereof). Laws reflect what people believe about life: they don't create belief out of whole cloth.
Sorry, I'm not buying that line. I wold prefer to say the law is a reflection of universal spiritual principles (with quite a few distortions, of course), not religion per se. The two are very different things, in my mind.
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Old 02-14-2012, 05:36 PM
 
Location: Earth Wanderer, longing for the stars.
12,406 posts, read 18,935,415 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trackwatch View Post
FIRST it isn't lady ... almost all are for the reasons I stated, what is in the paper work is another matter.
Your wife must be one of those females so afraid of you she follows your every word.
You know how it goes. You are not working, pulling in a decent salary, and get saddled with a kid or two. If the guy is not an absolute horror, you are often opting for what appears to be the better of two evils. You are trapped and start telling yourself that you like it because you feel you have no choice - the Stockholm Syndrome.

I think my mother was in that position. I know it is not everyone's and I think she should have pulled together the courage and left a lot sooner.
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