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Old 03-15-2012, 09:31 AM
 
Location: North America
19,634 posts, read 12,411,557 times
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Lots of people love the wedding part, it's the marriage part that's harder.
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Old 03-15-2012, 09:40 AM
 
Location: Austin
2,173 posts, read 2,870,594 times
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It is becoming a pasttime. I am very sad about it, but people don't tend to value traditional means of living anymore, nor do they feel the value in caring for another more than themselves. Add on top of that the narcissism and the lack of effort folks want to extend towards anything at all, and what did we expect?
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Old 03-15-2012, 09:47 AM
 
Location: Austin
2,173 posts, read 2,870,594 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RCCCB View Post
The great society attitude of no responsibility and judgment has contributed to people being ill prepared for marriage.
You have to be committed, work at it, compromise, love, be willing to be on the losing end sometimes and to stick together.
These are things the most current generations are weaker at.
They seem less spiritual, ethical and are far more needy without working for it these days and it reflects in their relationships for sure.

I tried to speak my peace as eloquently, but THIS is the sad truth.
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Old 03-15-2012, 10:30 AM
 
Location: Austin
2,173 posts, read 2,870,594 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by geeoro View Post
Marriage as a religous concept is fading fast but marriage as a decleration of commitment and love is still alive and well. In the 21st Century we now realise the actual reason for getting married and the benefits that being legally married can have.
My wife and i married because we believe in the commitment of marriage and the benefits to us both.
My wife is now my next of kin and can make decissions on my behalf if i can no longer do so. My wife is my best friend, lover and soul mate. She is the person who i have told the world by our marriage is the other half of me.
Unfortunately too many people marry for the wrong reasons and end up divorced......... marriage is a life long commitment and not to be entered into if you think that you can be a married person with a single persons lifestyle. If you haven't done the things you want to or are marrying because of external pressure then you are the reason your marriage cannot work.
Marriage is a great concept but not to be entered into lightly, like too many do.
I wish there were more people around who think like you.
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Old 03-15-2012, 10:37 AM
 
Location: Austin
2,173 posts, read 2,870,594 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by janelle144 View Post
What about the people who can't get a divorce because of the economic situation now? That may be for the best, maybe they will do a re-evaluation and realize they don't have it so bad after all and decide to stay together. They will work on their relationship.

Makes sense. Besides, if two people did love each other once enough to marry, they they can find and re-associate with that bond again. It just takes effort and concern for the other you vowed to do that for in the first place!
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Old 03-15-2012, 10:40 AM
 
Location: Austin
2,173 posts, read 2,870,594 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wendell Phillips View Post
When Cicero’s friend Atticus offered him his daughter in marriage, he declined stating that it would be difficult to be married and practice philosophy. However Socrates managed it, and he married Xanthippe, who was reputed to be the worst wife in all Athens. Indeed, some scholars maintain that Socrates took up philosophy because of his marriage; which would at least explain why he was always gadding about on the streets with his friends instead of staying home with his wife. (As Socrates reputedly said himself: "By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you will become very happy; if you get a bad one, you will become a philosopher - and that is good for every man.") Contrariwise, it has been suggested that, in the end, Socrates willingness to take the hemlock was not due so much to his philosophical principles as his wish to be finally free of that woman.

[SIZE=3]"Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." Proverbs 21:9[/SIZE]
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Old 03-15-2012, 11:00 AM
 
Location: Great State of Texas
86,093 posts, read 72,376,949 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redvelvet709 View Post
It is becoming a pasttime. I am very sad about it, but people don't tend to value traditional means of living anymore, nor do they feel the value in caring for another more than themselves. Add on top of that the narcissism and the lack of effort folks want to extend towards anything at all, and what did we expect?
Yet it's a big issue for the gay community.
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Old 03-15-2012, 11:53 AM
 
Location: Raleigh NC
1,347 posts, read 2,671,999 times
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and let's not forget the (yes it's still around) awful "something is wrong with you if you're a woman who never married by 40" idea. I'll admit it was a huge part of my choice to get married at 41. Divorced or widowed looks better than never married if you ever find yourself single again. that's just the way it is and I don't see that ever changing.
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Old 03-15-2012, 12:13 PM
 
Location: Austin
2,173 posts, read 2,870,594 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stars&StripesForever View Post
I'm quite shocked to see the mindset of a lot of you on here as it pertains to marriage.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, one ordained by God, between a man and a woman.

With this in mind, in many ways I do wish that the state would get out of marriage, but I realize that there are some logistical reasons for doing so.

That said, marriage takes work. No one should expect that marriage is going to be easy. In fact, it's not easy. People have different opinions, desires, and preconceptions when they enter marriage, and these are things that take time to work out. In fact, I think that in many ways, it can take several years to finally come to an understanding on a lot of this.

Are there going to be arguments? You better believe it. However, over time, these lessen, and you learn to appreciate the other person at a deeper level. You learn the other person's viewpoint and when to push the issue or not.

Too many people, in my opinion, are on a hedonistic fix. They want life to be simple, filled with limitless pleasures, and this is often affixed to their views on marriage. They expect their partner to be this perfect person. They expect their marriages to be nothing but bliss. However, that's not reality. There are good times and there are bad times. Going through the bad times you are more likely to appreciate the good times. Thus, when everything isn't bliss, they become dissatisfied and wish to bail out of a marriage.

All of this is a shame, for society needs strong marriages to build strong children and strong work ethics and morals. Without them, the country falls socially, culturally, morally, and economically. You can see the correlation with the fall of marriage and the fall of our civilization.

No doubt, there are a lot of problems with the legal structure. In many ways, laws that unfavor men are causing more harm than good. Allowing men to be raked over the coals by greedy women who initiate divorce is only going to give more women the idea to do the same, and is only going to make more men want to avoid marriage. I'd say that the current set-up reads as though Satan concocted the whole plan to destroy marriage, the family, and society as a whole.

I cannot say enough about how much your post pleased me. Thank you for setting things right. However, as we know, the majority of the people here will dispute your words and go on living with little integrity and wondering what to do about their ever-present loneliness.

I am thankful to be one of the few who still values what God intended. Whether or not I find someone who also does is a big problem.

Men will continue to avoid marriage for financial reasons, but also because the sad state of women is such now that they get all the goods anyway, so there's no incentive.
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Old 03-15-2012, 12:23 PM
 
Location: Austin
2,173 posts, read 2,870,594 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SoCalCroozer View Post
Haha.............the answers in this thread are so telling when it comes to what is wrong with America. And we wonder why our kids are such a disaster and so screwed up! HELLO!!!!!!!!!!! THE ENTIRE POINT OF MARRIAGE WAS TO START A FAMILY AND BRING LIFE INTO THIS WORLD! Kids are MUCH better off having two parents who raise them to adulthood and love and care for them than they ever are in a divorced household with spouses coming and going. Is having a family the ONLY reason people should get married or do get married? Of course not! Some people just want to say they are married and have the symbolic religious or whatever tradition to back it up. America could use a little tradition these days. Kids raised by single moms are a complete and utter disaster generally speaking ON AVERAGE! Statistics prove that all day long!

People are more self centered, self absorbed and just plain selfish than they have ever been and it shows. People have no loyalty and no committment to anything in their lives nowadays. Every aspect of our society based on something "new". We trade in and trade up for just about everything these days. Houses, cars, clothing etc. And if you think relationships are any easier or better because you aren't "married" you're an idiot and have never been in a monogamous, long term committed relationships. Marriage yes in the grand scheme of things means nothing. But the symbolic aspect of it is huge for many people.

People can't follow through on much anymore and it shows. Divorce is wreaking havoc on young people. But most adults are too conceited and self absorbed to understand how and why and to do anything about it. Part of being an adult is doing things you don't want to do. Life isn't easy. Life isn't always about being "happy" and being "in love". Marriage is MUCH more than that and especially when you bring kids into this world. Relationships in our consumer driven materialistic culture are such a mess.

Look at the childlike, trivial, and completely unrealistic responses in this thread. Love of your life? Really dude? There are 6 billion people in this world.........chances of finding the "love of your life" is pretty slim. And the chances that there is only ONE love of your life even SLIMMER! Some people get married just so they have companionship, intimacy, someone to talk to, do stuff with, grow old with be there for them when they are in need etc. I think a lot of the posters in this thread sound very young. Most adults in 21st century America NEVER GROW UP! Hence their almost Hollywood child like mentality when it comes to relationships.......i.e. "being in love". Being in "love" has more to do with hormones than anything else. Loving someone for who they are is as important or more so than loving someone for HOW THEY make you feel. As you grow old you realize this.

Divorced families are some of the most dysfunctional, most unhealthy families to grow up in. The difference between generations past and those today have nothing to do with being bare foot and pregnant in the kitchen or some lack of "feminisim" and women can't do the same as men mentality. It had to do with people made a committment and actually stuck to it and followed through for the betterment of other people. Relationships have never been easy between spouses and two people.

Being adult is when you cease living your life for yourself and start living it for other people.....spouses and children included.
You made my day! Bless you and thank you for speaking up!
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