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Racism is not part of how someone is like sexual orientation; racism is learned. Ain't no baby come out the womb destined to never want to date a black/white/Latin/Asian/whatever person. Nice try though.
It's fine and dandy to *lean* towards certain races over others in dating; it's when you completely SHUT OUT one or more entire races that it becomes wrong.
My point is, you have no control over who someone else is attracted to.
They may be told by their family, church, school, friends, culture etc what is acceptable but they still may choose to follow their heart instead.
I was 'supposed' to marry shortly after a 2-year stint as a missionary but then wound up falling head over heels for a guy and no one could tell me differently.
That's life.
And as Gay people, you and I should be able to understand that perfectly.
I lean towards other black guys and Latin guys as well. However, I also find a lot of white and Asian guys attractive. I don't shut anyone out purely over race.
I love how people try to pin the plight of me, and people like me, on "negative attitudes". It's just more denial, as if they and their prosperous buddies aren't to blame for any outcasting, bullying, racism, et cetera, it's our fault for "being negative".
Fact time: my "negative attitude" is the result of the horrid way I've been treated all my life, not the other way around.
Why do I have a feeling this negative attitude is perhaps from being turned down on websites?
Why do I have a feeling this negative attitude is perhaps from being turned down on websites?
It's common.
Go out and meet real people. It gets better.
Comes from mistreatment on both the Internet and in the "physical world". I invite you to reread my original post, especially about the physical attack I got while biking through Fairmount. Kinda hard to beat someone up physically through the Internet. Next catapult-full of mud, please.
I'm 19, and a gay guy. I have been out since I was 16. I used to be fully on the LGBT rights side...
...until last night, when I found myself smiling at the news that North Carolina voted to ban gay marriage in their Constitution.
Why, you may ask?
Well, I also happen to be a black gay guy. And over the couple years I've been hanging around LGBT circles, I've noticed an astounding amount of racism among them. Yes, I know, racism is everywhere... but I've noticed that most of the racism I've been on the receiving end of has been from gay people.
How can I tell that the racism is from gay people? Well, I'd figure two guys holding hands is a pretty good sign, and seeing that in Dallas/Fort Worth here is common as pigeons nowadays. Plus, there's looking at Facebook profiles, clothing, bumper stickers, et cetera. I'd say 75% of racist crap hurled at me comes from them.
Upper-middle-class white guys--many of them gay--are busy gentrifying the inner cities of Dallas and Fort Worth... but are also busy looking down their noses at African-Americans who have been here most or all of our lives, years and decades before they even hatched the idea to move here from the suburbs. I get death glares from them when I ride my bike through what they consider "their" districts (Oak Lawn in Dallas is a perfect example) as if they're afraid I'll steal their hideous little pink mopeds or something.
I've also noticed how the majority of white gay guys (at least in my city) won't even befriend a black guy, as if we're a different species or something. Many of them are what I call "romantic racists", who shut out blacks (and sometimes even Asians too) from their romantic lives, under the guise of "just their preference", as if that's a valid excuse to be a racist. (For the record, I "prefer" catfish over fried chicken, but that don't mean I never eat chicken! In fact, I love both!)
Then, on the flip side, are the racist black gay guys. Not just the ones who won't date whites, but the ones who look down on other black guys who they don't think act "black enough". If I had an actual Oreo cookie for every time I've been called an Oreo, I'd be able to send them cookies to a third-world country and not only solve the hunger problem, but probably cause an explosion in the diabetes rate, too!
And no, I still don't know what "black enough" is. Perhaps if I drove a clown car that looks like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and a Terminator made love and had a hideous kid? No Earthly idea.
I've even been on the receiving end of physical attack where racial slurs were being yelled... and then later found out 3 of the 4 perpetrators were gay. The irony is disgusting.
My overall point is, the LGBT "community" needs to get its own house in order when it comes to discrimination before they start complaining about discrimination against them. A white gay guy that whines about not having equal rights and being discriminated against, then tells a black guy "no" because they're black, ain't nothing but a hypocrite.
I have stopped standing for gay rights, and don't plan to restart any time soon.
OP seems to just be saying that he can't support a movement that doesn't support him. I don't see where that is illogical.
I am a persuaded pro-free market, Milton Friedman-style economics guy, and so I am a Republican. But I'm also non-religious. If the R's went too far off the deep end on 'social conservative' policies, say passing anti-sodomy and anti-adultery laws and enforcing them, I'd have to drop my support for the Republican party.
Remember set theory and Venn diagrams from 6th grade math class? Sometimes you're a member of two different groups that inherently don't play well together. If it gets bad enough, eventually you'll choose one or the other.
And on a side note, I have run into plenty of anti-gay sentiment among straight liberals. Of course there is the official facade of being supportive of gays among liberal Democrats, but in the real world it's sometimes a different story.
I've finally found someone that feels the same way I do.
I feel its kind of appauling that gays want the same rights as straights and run around gay pride celebrations with a thongs on trying to claim their civil rights. When women want to protest and have their celebrations they dont act like that. Blacks and Latinos don't do that either. Why do Gays?
The racism is dispecatable. I have a harder time relating to White Gay men than I do Straight White men. The first time I was called the n word to my face was in Boystown. Too many times going to the White Gay clubs I feel a negative energy towards me. I can't figure out why except racism.
Since coming to Chicago, I've wondered why so many Black Gay men don't want to associate with Gay White men and now I see why. Then we have the question why do Black Gays have their own pride celebration. Its because of the racism from the Gay White community. Some will even say that they cant be racist because they are gay. (thanks to the idea that gay is the new black).
As far as people having preferences I don't have a problem with that. I prefer Black men. I don't believe in mistreating someone because of their skin color or they may be different demographic than who I am attracted to sexually. I've heard many Elderly White Gay men, Lesbians and Hispanics write and speak on the same issues that divides the Gay community.
Gay community has to accept others before others accept them. The gay community has to clean themselves up from sexual promiscuity, drug abuse and racism before they can ask for others to accept.
I just found a poster who I will be a bit easier on from now on. Knowing what you are makes me want to stand up with you no matter about your race or sexual persuasion. Somebody has to take up for Serge and we seem to be about alone. However, I think you two are the only two black gays writing and reading on this thread.
Maybe you are just a bright young person who thinks for them self? I have noticed prejudice in the gay community. I have heard harsh anti-Jewish banter...I have heard them talk about how they hate children- and how they do not like "mothers"...
Personally at the moment - there is a gay shop keeper that I share a building with- My apartment is above his store. My heating broke down during the winter- He would not allow the furnace guy to fix it and I was very uncomfortable most of the winter.
I spoke to him and said.."You don't know me well enough to hate me"..He said he was indifferent and did not care one way or the other..He said that the only thing in the world that is important to him- is his dog- his partner and that is it.
The way I look at people is simple- You be good and kind to me and look out for me- and I will do the same for you. If this man is representative of gay selfishness...I am wondering why should I care about them- If they don't give a damn for me?
I think the prejudice started during the mayoral election when I stated I was conservative...I believe they equated that with gay hate.
As for the young black gay male who started this thread...Don't let anyone put you into a group with a title..be free to be yourself- I don't think that the gay club is one worth joining.
I've finally found someone that feels the same way I do.
I feel its kind of appauling that gays want the same rights as straights and run around gay pride celebrations with a thongs on trying to claim their civil rights. When women want to protest and have their celebrations they dont act like that. Blacks and Latinos don't do that either. Why do Gays?
The racism is dispecatable. I have a harder time relating to White Gay men than I do Straight White men. The first time I was called the n word to my face was in Boystown. Too many times going to the White Gay clubs I feel a negative energy towards me. I can't figure out why except racism.
Since coming to Chicago, I've wondered why so many Black Gay men don't want to associate with Gay White men and now I see why. Then we have the question why do Black Gays have their own pride celebration. Its because of the racism from the Gay White community. Some will even say that they cant be racist because they are gay. (thanks to the idea that gay is the new black).
As far as people having preferences I don't have a problem with that. I prefer Black men. I don't believe in mistreating someone because of their skin color or they may be different demographic than who I am attracted to sexually. I've heard many Elderly White Gay men, Lesbians and Hispanics write and speak on the same issues that divides the Gay community.
Gay community has to accept others before others accept them. The gay community has to clean themselves up from sexual promiscuity, drug abuse and racism before they can ask for others to accept.
I certainly agreed with you there. Some of the videos of that group and their celebrations in California cities make me sick just thinking about what they are willing to do in public and I have as yet to see a black in those things other than in a few parades. Are they really that racist?
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