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Old 05-25-2012, 08:00 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,486 posts, read 43,941,072 times
Reputation: 47268

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Our 10 y.o. daughters have never set foot in a cemetery although they know what they are for. For some reason I want to have them visit a Veterans Cemetery this weekend to see all the flags and we want to try to explain to them what Veterans Day is all about.

But there are a few problems:

we are both children of the 60's, both very much involved in the Peace Movement and both anti war. (DH is a vet) Please give me some ideas how you would explain the bravery of somebody dying for their country, standing up for what they believe in vis a vis how we feel about the horrors of war and how to stand up against it like we did.

They are both adopted from Vietnam- northern provinces. As I recall each tombstone names the wars the vet was in. How do I handle them seeing Vietnam on so many tombstones? They have been told about the history of their country of origin and they are aware of the Vietnam War.

Is it a bad idea to even take them to a Veterans cemetery?

How would you handle this?
Thank you. I put this question here rather than the Parenting Forum because of the politics involved.
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Old 05-25-2012, 08:11 AM
 
11,535 posts, read 8,809,081 times
Reputation: 3580
Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
Our 10 y.o. daughters have never set foot in a cemetery although they know what they are for. For some reason I want to have them visit a Veterans Cemetery this weekend to see all the flags and we want to try to explain to them what Veterans Day is all about.

But there are a few problems:

we are both children of the 60's, both very much involved in the Peace Movement and both anti war. (DH is a vet) Please give me some ideas how you would explain the bravery of somebody dying for their country, standing up for what they believe in vis a vis how we feel about the horrors of war and how to stand up against it like we did.

They are both adopted from Vietnam- northern provinces. As I recall each tombstone names the wars the vet was in. How do I handle them seeing Vietnam on so many tombstones? They have been told about the history of their country of origin and they are aware of the Vietnam War.

Is it a bad idea to even take them to a Veterans cemetery?

How would you handle this?
Thank you. I put this question here rather than the Parenting Forum because of the politics involved.
You can teach your kids about Memorial day without having to take them to a cemetery. Personally I think 10 years old are too young to be taken to a cemetery for a civic lesson
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Old 05-25-2012, 08:18 AM
 
25,630 posts, read 30,533,656 times
Reputation: 23112
Honoring those who have fallen in service for their country is entirely separate from the Powers that be that sent those soldiers into war.

Their's was not to to question why only to do or die.

Would you have the same second thoughts if those you seek to honor had directly saved you and your family from death or destuction.
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Old 05-25-2012, 08:56 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,486 posts, read 43,941,072 times
Reputation: 47268
Thank you for the responses. something to think about. They are asking about the Vietnam War and I want them to be proud of their country of origin. My idiot brother thought it was a fun joke to call them Little Commies when they were little. He's not a problem anymore but this might come up in the future. Hopefully not.

I remember my feelings as a child of being taken to the cemetery for flag placement, wearing poppies on memorial Day etc and was trying to share a bit of this with them. All the flags are beautiful but of course you don't have to go to a cemetery for a good civics lesson.

Our family is so small and so scattered I can't imagine that they would ever go to a cemetery before they are adults. We are not religious and want to be cremated like most others in our family. I'll just have to think on it some more. Maybe a good parade would be better.
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