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Who's upset? Not me. Just annoyed with the widespread (seemingly nationwide) lack of originality that makes this blah question pop up like zits on teens. Copycats and brainpickers and cut-to-the-chase (e.g., abrasive, closet lazybones) types tend to ask "the question". Jmo. As I said, in some contexts it's appropriate and even mandatory such as a business networking event or if you've known someone for some time. Outside of those examples, well, always consider the context first, vibe second. We're born with instincts for good reason.
Dogs sniff butts, people ask "What do you do for living". It's just different ways to size up one another. Nothing wrong with that, except when you seek to get away from all of that. Then it just ticks you off.
Have you ever been out at a gathering with people you meet for the first time and everyone is getting along well and then someone asks "hey what do you do for a living??"
I find that to be rude. I read that in France you could go to a dinner party every other night with several couples for a year and NO ONE would dare ask what you do for a living. They would ask questions like what book did you read last, Or have you visited the Louve museum or some sort of museum or discuss the arts.
But why do we Americans have the tendency to do this?? I hired someone to do some work for me and that was one of the questions he asked me--I was immediately turned off. My reply was do you base your fee upon occupation??? He was silent. Very evident he didnt like that response. Its as if alot of Americans feel entitled to know what you do for a living as a way to size you up.
So then he says wow I never met someone so secretive about their occupation--Are you a top government official on an assignment. At that point I terminated his contract and taught him a very good lesson in professionalism. You are here to do a job, not attempt to pass judgement or size up your client.
What are your thoughts?? Anyone else find this question rude and annoying??
What you did was assume that the question was nefarious and gave a rude respomse. Quite easy to give a vague answer and not be rude. You give an example of "What books have you read.". Well, I suppose that would also could give insight into a person's private matters. If I said the Life and Times of George Bush the person may assume my polical affiliation and beleifs when I amy not want them to know that.
What you did was assume that the question was nefarious and gave a rude respomse. Quite easy to give a vague answer and not be rude. You give an example of "What books have you read.". Well, I suppose that would also could give insight into a person's private matters. If I said the Life and Times of George Bush the person may assume my polical affiliation and beleifs when I amy not want them to know that.
But for all you know, and you werent personally part of that conversation, maybe the asker did have a nefarious plan. The vague answer solution is a good one. I'm gonna jump on that bandwagon
But for all you know, and you werent personally part of that conversation, maybe the asker did have a nefarious plan.
And if the person beleived that why not just give a vague answer? If I thought someone was asking the question I would just give an answer where they couldn't tell.
I think it depends upon your profession. I do my utmost NOT to tell people what I do for a living. Not that I am ashamed of what I do, quite the opposite. However, its because of people's reaction to what I do. After the 50th time of hearing: Do you think beating Rodney King was ok? Or, I got this ticket, can you sign it off for me? Why do police officers shoot and kill people and not shoot the gun out of their hands? Or see half a dozen people run for the bathroom and flush their stash down the toilet and the other half of dozen people put their drinks down and walk away. Or the lady who brings their kid up to you and tells you, "I want you to yell at my son. He is being bad. I want you to scare him."
Yeah, it gets old talking about my profession to other people.
And if the person beleived that why not just give a vague answer? If I thought someone was asking the question I would just give an answer where they couldn't tell.
+1. I'm going to get with that program, in my own unique way. I think the way the original post was worded ruffled a lot of feathers
What you did was assume that the question was nefarious and gave a rude respomse. Quite easy to give a vague answer and not be rude. You give an example of "What books have you read.". Well, I suppose that would also could give insight into a person's private matters. If I said the Life and Times of George Bush the person may assume my polical affiliation and beleifs when I amy not want them to know that.
I agree. Asking about my political affiliations or my religious beliefs is very personal. Asking what I do for a living, not so much. It's how I make money--it's not my life. I suppose, in the right context, it COULD be someone trying to one up someone else, but I've never experienced that. It's usually been asked in the context of my interests and trying to find common ground. Once people know I'm in marketing, the conversation goes to PR stuff. If the other person is in a different type of business or field, the conversation might go that way. It's a way to have a conversation with people that you don't know WITHOUT prying into personal information too early. I guess I'm not ashamed of what I do for a living, so I don't understand the concern. When I was home with my kids and didn't work outside of the home AT ALL, I didn't apologize for that either. How insecure do you have to be to worry about someone knowing where you work?
. Here in America, where many people value hard work and effort, your identity is largely defined by what you do, like it or not..
No they place value on you by your salary scale not by your work. For instance...
them~ " LK is it?, what do you do for a living?"
LK~" I work a day job that supports my needs well enough being sngle with no kids, I make less than 50k a year but it is a job that has work hours that allows me enough free time to have a life outside of work because my passion is guitar and I play or practice almost every night". " I could chase money and move up higher in the salary range but then my life would be chasing a higher pay scale, I value time as much as money".
them~ "oh, so do you play out and make money?"
LK~ " yes I play out sometimes and make some extra money but it isn't about the money it is about I love to play and show off my ever improving skills that I work hard at".
them~ "oh".
There is difference between what you do for a living and what defines you. Not all of us get to do what we have a passion for that also pays well at the same time. My life is not defined by the job I go to to collect a needed pay check. My life is defined by what passions I have in life.
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