What do you do for a living--How Rude!! (polls, Obama, lobbyists)

[lionking]

Originally Posted by Shiloh1

Why do you assume that this person was passing judgment on you by asking such a question in light of the fact that you admit to knowing that in America this is a common question to ask?

Because too often they are passing judgement, equating your achievements by your salary. While a work ethic is to be commended, it is true that in America too many equate a person's value on their salary. I do appreciate other cultures that embrace life and time as important rather than just being a slave to the grind.

In America a lot of people feel guilty for taking a vacation, a lot of companies won't allow you to take your time off as you see fit, my own company is like that, some of us have asked to take the two weeks off for a international vacation but we are only allowed to take one week at a time because us not being there might might hurt profit a little. Now you have more and more people skipping lunch also out of fear. Most of those people are saddled in debt, responsibilities to their charged up credit and family depending on them, too often divorced now trying to make ends meet. Not me, I am not lazy but at the same time I am not going to be the minion a company thinks that you need them more than they need you. And the more money you chase the more of a slave to your fears of loosing it you become.

[texdav]

in persoanl conversions i alos do not find it rude. That is ebcause its normally not meant to be rude. but certanly the Ops replay was meant to be rude.

Originally Posted by lionking

Because too often they are passing judgement, equating your achievements by your salary. While a work ethic is to be commended, it is true that in America too many equate a person's value on their salary. I do appreciate other cultures that embrace life and time as important rather than just being a slave to the grind.

You don't know whether it is 'too often' or not (is there a study on this?) - that is your projection onto their motives. Many times it is just a conversation starter, a way to maybe interact on a business level, etc. You have no reason to assume and make generalizations particularly in light of the fact that this is a common question in OUR culture. She needs to take a look at herself first, before judging others and offering suggestions on how America and Americans should be. This chic is so high on herself.

[grimace8]

What's funny is sometimes I'll open up to someone who _doesn't_ ask "the question" as a reward (if I sense a curiosity) (sorry, I'd like to insert a better word instead of 'reward', but I can't think of one now) for sensing my vibe/preference and because obviously they're classy to withhold the question til later or not ask it at all... So to the flame baiter (forgot his name already.p something) who insinuated I make money illegally or ashamed and other nonsense, stick that in your pipe and smoke it

[Chava61]

Originally Posted by chica_bella813

Have you ever been out at a gathering with people you meet for the first time and everyone is getting along well and then someone asks "hey what do you do for a living??"

I find that to be rude. I read that in France you could go to a dinner party every other night with several couples for a year and NO ONE would dare ask what you do for a living. They would ask questions like what book did you read last, Or have you visited the Louve museum or some sort of museum or discuss the arts.

But why do we Americans have the tendency to do this?? I hired someone to do some work for me and that was one of the questions he asked me--I was immediately turned off. My reply was do you base your fee upon occupation??? He was silent. Very evident he didnt like that response. Its as if alot of Americans feel entitled to know what you do for a living as a way to size you up.

So then he says wow I never met someone so secretive about their occupation--Are you a top government official on an assignment. At that point I terminated his contract and taught him a very good lesson in professionalism. You are here to do a job, not attempt to pass judgement or size up your client.

What are your thoughts?? Anyone else find this question rude and annoying??

It is not considered rude in the USA to ask someone what they do for a living. But it is considered rude to ask them how much is their salary. As already mentioned for some people what they do is connected with their identity and it is basically a conversation starter.

[lionking]

Originally Posted by texdav

in persoanl conversions i alos do not find it rude. That is ebcause its normally not meant to be rude. but certanly the Ops replay was meant to be rude.

Actually she makes sense. Go to a dentist and in conversation spill out how well things are going for you or what you do and you might get a estimate based on " they can afford it". But go in there and say doc please work with me I just had my car break, just had a cancer removed, and blah blah and they might be willing to work on the estimate amount more.

Again , when I worked at a prestigious auto line when someone came in wearing fancy clothes and jewelry driving a $90,000 car chances are they are going to get a full pop estimate because " they can afford it" or maybe " her husband can afford it" lol...

But come in dressed in everyday t-shirt and jeans maybe a do it your selfer working on your 10 year old car chances are your estimate for parts or bringing it in to have the work done might be discounted because the assumption is finances are tight.....

[lionking]

Originally Posted by Shiloh1

You don't know whether it is 'too often' or not (is there a study on this?) - that is your projection onto their motives. Many times it is just a conversation starter, a way to maybe interact on a business level, etc. You have no reason to assume and make generalizations particularly in light of the fact that this is a common question in OUR culture. She needs to take a look at herself first, before judging others and offering suggestions on how America and Americans should be. This chic is so high on herself.

Given today's economy where someone might be taking a job desperate because its the only job they can get it might be rude to ask and embarrassing to be asked as well. Do you think someone wants to say " well I use to be X but the situation went bad so now I deliver flowers part time but that is all I could find.

But even if that person is having a hard time right now job wise it doesn't take away from the fact that they might be very interested and have a passion for books, poetry, music, shooting pool , flying aircraft, history or whatever and those topics are more interesting to hear about anyway rather than what someone does or has to do to put food on the table.

[Rhenzanite]

What I do is part of who I am... I kbow it may not be the same way for everyone, but I'm employed in a field that I find intensely interesting and my job, schooling and hobbies reflect that. I work in aviation, have a degree in aerospace and fly for fun. So, when people ask me what I do I'm more than happy to explain

Asking what a person does can open up conversations to find out more about who they are and I don't find it rude at all.

[Nayabone]

One of the forums I follow recently had a thread titled. "What do you do for a living with pictures."
It was one of the most interesting threads I have read in a while. It's very interesting to learn what people do, especially with pictures. I don't recall anyone on the many pages of that thread feeling insulted and were happy to post pictures and describe their jobs.
I would agree that it's inappropriate for a contractor coming to give you an estimate to ask that kind of question, but other than that, I see no harm in asking an interesting question.
I'm always interested in asking people where they are from and how they ended where they are.

Originally Posted by lionking

Given today's economy where someone might be taking a job desperate because its the only job they can get it might be rude to ask and embarrassing to be asked as well. Do you think someone wants to say " well I use to be X but the situation went bad so now I deliver flowers part time but that is all I could find.

But even if that person is having a hard time right now job wise it doesn't take away from the fact that they might be very interested and have a passion for books, poetry, music, shooting pool , flying aircraft, history or whatever and those topics are more interesting to hear about anyway rather than what someone does or has to do to put food on the table.

Now you are just getting off track:

I asked her a question regarding her hyprocricy - 'Why do you assume that this person was passing judgment on you by asking such a question in light of the fact that you admit to knowing that in America this is a common question to ask?'

And you responded with an answer - 'Because too often they are passing judgement, equating your achievements by your salary.'

I then responded that that is not a fact just your projection of your own feelings upon their motives.

And now you respond with the above quote.

Someone not wanting to asnswer the question because they are embarassed is irrelevent to the motive of the person asking the question - you can't just assume and then procede in a fasion as if they were guilty and then justify your rude actions toward them based on that assumption and your dislike of the response you might have to give.

The bottom line is this person judged this person based on her asssumption and then treated this person in a rude manner thinking she was justified in doing so - all the while complaining about rudeness and being judged. You can't justify her response and actions with - well because too often people ask this question because they are judging you based on what you make - that is just another assumption. You are going in circles trying to maintain face. Give it up!