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Old 09-09-2012, 08:58 AM
 
Location: Great Falls, Montana
4,002 posts, read 3,898,383 times
Reputation: 1398

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Quote:
Originally Posted by cometclear View Post
Thinking back to a couple weeks ago when a non-white wondered what a birthday party put on by white folks would be like, I think it appropriate to explain more about what makes white people tick. As a white person for several decades, I believe myself up to the task. Let's start with their likes.

These are things that your average white person really likes:

- Sit-down chain restaurants on Friday nights. It's like a suburban white meat temple at your local Chili's or Applebee's on a Friday night. Yes, the food is terrible, but you can practically suck in the stale whiteness that will warm your white soul in such places.
- Farmer's markets. White people love farmer's markets, in part, because it allows them to venture into the city during daylight hours when there is less of a chance of a Negro attacking them.
- Cargo shorts. White people love cargo shorts in the summer months. If you see a white man under the age of 50 who is wearing shorts other than cargo shorts in July, call me immediately.
- Mad Men. Now that we all have cable, Mad Men is "must-see" television for white people. It harkens back to an era when white people were at the top of their games.
- Minivans. Ask yourself this, if you had 2.3 white children, would a four-door sedan be large enough for all 3.3 or 4.3 of you to go to the youth soccer game? Of course not.
- Oprah. White women love Oprah. In the same way Bill Clinton was the first black president, Oprah is the first honorary white person.
- Self-help books. White people simply have more challenges and obstacles than everyone else. Fortunately, there are people out there who have most of the solutions to their problems, and they've written it all down, which leads me to...
- Kindles. White people love Kindles. It's like a book, but even better because there are buttons and stuff.
- Pets. White people accumulate pets like toads accumulate warts. It's a proven fact. Look it up in whogo's science book.
- Motorcycles. Middle-aged white men love motorcycles so much, they will even put on black leather chaps, bandanas and shave their arms just to have the pleasure of riding a crappy piece of machinery from Milwaukee, Wisconsin with only two wheels.
- Guns. White people love guns. This is mostly because white people believe it be self-evident that criminals will want to target them before any other groups.
- Closure. When something bad happens, from a death in the family all the way down to the pineapple upside down cake that didn't turn out, you will frequently hear white people speak of the need to have "closure."

What white people don't like:

- Black men. I cannot properly convey the terror they experience in words.
- Being the objects of humor. Yes, they've heard and even indulged in humor about other groups, but when the humor is pointed back upon them, they cannot be offended fast enough. Tell a joke about white people and watch the righteous indignation rise as thick as steam into the atmosphere.
- Taxes. White people hate taxes. They think those taxes are going to poor black people who spend it on crack and Colt 45 and rap music.
- Foreign languages. They're confusing to American white people and it makes them feel out of the loop. I really should have "being out of the loop" as a separate dislike, but I'll just stick it here.
- Mean people. In fact, some have gone so far as to have, "Mean people s*ck" made into a bumper sticker. Many a therapy session has been scheduled just to help white people deal with a mean person in their lives who is just, like, totally ruining their lives.
Again .. this is stupid ..

I'm a white guy .. have been for years .. and I love fried chicken and watermelon ..

I know plenty of brothas that own kindles and that socialize at their favorite restaurants ..

Really tho' .. the only people I know of that might be out of the loop when it comes to race, are the ones that come up with lists like this one above ..

When it comes down to racial equality in this country these days, you'll find that the blacks can suck in the stale blackness just as well as the whites can suck in the stale whiteness ..

There is a very marginal 1% of both black and white in this nation that keeps trying to keep this whole racial divide B.S. alive in this country .. well, I'm not going to listen to this marginal 1% because they don't have the power that they somehow think they have over me.

Racism is dead .. get over it .. move on with your life ..

 
Old 09-09-2012, 09:03 AM
 
56,989 posts, read 35,116,741 times
Reputation: 18824
Quote:
Originally Posted by Benicar View Post
Thank you for dispelling this myth. I know many white people, and NONE fear black men. Why should they?
Because he says so.
 
Old 09-09-2012, 10:09 AM
 
14,944 posts, read 8,555,251 times
Reputation: 7360
Quote:
Originally Posted by cometclear View Post
Thinking back to a couple weeks ago when a non-white wondered what a birthday party put on by white folks would be like, I think it appropriate to explain more about what makes white people tick. As a white person for several decades, I believe myself up to the task. Let's start with their likes.
You forgot cake with candles on it. Us white folks loves us some cake and candles. Specially the ones that won't blow out, cuz we don't want anyone's wishes to come true ... not even our own.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cometclear View Post
These are things that your average white person really likes:

- Sit-down chain restaurants on Friday nights. It's like a suburban white meat temple at your local Chili's or Applebee's on a Friday night. Yes, the food is terrible, but you can practically suck in the stale whiteness that will warm your white soul in such places.
A "suburban white meat temple" ? I really must order something other than the cheeseburger and fries the next time I feel like sucking in stale whiteness and warming my white soul.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cometclear View Post
- Farmer's markets. White people love farmer's markets, in part, because it allows them to venture into the city during daylight hours when there is less of a chance of a Negro attacking them.
And all this time I thought it had something to do with acquiring fresh, locally grown produce rather than the imported crap at the supermarket. Who knew?

Quote:
Originally Posted by cometclear View Post
- Cargo shorts. White people love cargo shorts in the summer months. If you see a white man under the age of 50 who is wearing shorts other than cargo shorts in July, call me immediately.
Busted. I'm sitting here at this very moment wearing cargo shorts. But you forgot the "why". You see, cargo shorts have many more pockets than regular shorts. This is convenient for us so that we can carry all of the "stuff" we have that we've acquired by making sure non-whites have no stuff of their own.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cometclear View Post
- Mad Men. Now that we all have cable, Mad Men is "must-see" television for white people. It harkens back to an era when white people were at the top of their games.
Blast!!! I've never seen that show. Does it come on in the early evening hours? That's probably the deal ... cuz that's when I am always at Chilis sucking me up some stale whiteness ... and their TV is usually playing some sports game that has negroes chasing each other around some field trying to knock the crap out of each other ... we like that kind of entertainment too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cometclear View Post
- Minivans. Ask yourself this, if you had 2.3 white children, would a four-door sedan be large enough for all 3.3 or 4.3 of you to go to the youth soccer game? Of course not.
I hate minivans ... and if a hospital tried to give me 1/3 of a child, I'd ask them what they did with the rest of it. Does this mean I'm not white? Wait ... let me go check .... yep. I'm white alright. So far, you've been doin' great ... you may want to re-think the minivan thing however.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cometclear View Post
- Oprah. White women love Oprah. In the same way Bill Clinton was the first black president, Oprah is the first honorary white person.
It's a deep psychological thing ... you see, white people cannot imagine a negro becoming that rich. So we just pretend they are white, and then we can like them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cometclear View Post
- Self-help books. White people simply have more challenges and obstacles than everyone else. Fortunately, there are people out there who have most of the solutions to their problems, and they've written it all down, which leads me to...
When you are the scourge of the earth and the oppressors of all God's children, singularly responsible for every wrong that has ever occurred ... that type of guilt takes a great deal of therapy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cometclear View Post
- Kindles. White people love Kindles. It's like a book, but even better because there are buttons and stuff.
Here's your second error. We white people love our iPads ... Kindles are for poor people who can't afford Apple products.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cometclear View Post
- Pets. White people accumulate pets like toads accumulate warts. It's a proven fact. Look it up in whogo's science book.
We just love owning living things. That's the way we roll.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cometclear View Post
- Motorcycles. Middle-aged white men love motorcycles so much, they will even put on black leather chaps, bandanas and shave their arms just to have the pleasure of riding a crappy piece of machinery from Milwaukee, Wisconsin with only two wheels.
It's just a replacement for horses. Horses cost too much these days, and there is no place left to park them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cometclear View Post
- Guns. White people love guns. This is mostly because white people believe it be self-evident that criminals will want to target them before any other groups.
It's not so much the fear of crime ... it's just our "blanky". It's the only right we've actually kept for ourselves ... as all the other rights we've given up to the colored people ... like freedom of speech, freedom to organize ... freedom to protest .... etc., etc. It's our last stand before we eventually agree that we don't even deserve that right either. Obama is doing his best to help us with this problem.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cometclear View Post
- Closure. When something bad happens, from a death in the family all the way down to the pineapple upside down cake that didn't turn out, you will frequently hear white people speak of the need to have "closure."
Right again ... I remember Grandma GuyNTexas once had a nervous breakdown when she burnt an apple pie. Grandpa pistol whipped the hell out of her, and that made her feel better, but still required some professional therapy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cometclear View Post
What white people don't like:

- Black men. I cannot properly convey the terror they experience in words.
- Being the objects of humor. Yes, they've heard and even indulged in humor about other groups, but when the humor is pointed back upon them, they cannot be offended fast enough. Tell a joke about white people and watch the righteous indignation rise as thick as steam into the atmosphere.
- Taxes. White people hate taxes. They think those taxes are going to poor black people who spend it on crack and Colt 45 and rap music.
- Foreign languages. They're confusing to American white people and it makes them feel out of the loop. I really should have "being out of the loop" as a separate dislike, but I'll just stick it here.
- Mean people. In fact, some have gone so far as to have, "Mean people s*ck" made into a bumper sticker. Many a therapy session has been scheduled just to help white people deal with a mean person in their lives who is just, like, totally ruining their lives.
You forgot one thing .... white people hate stupid and ignorant white people ... which might shed some light on your entire post, if you carefully read between the lines.
 
Old 09-09-2012, 10:37 AM
 
58,749 posts, read 27,080,924 times
Reputation: 14186
Quote:
Originally Posted by cometclear View Post
Thinking back to a couple weeks ago when a non-white wondered what a birthday party put on by white folks would be like, I think it appropriate to explain more about what makes white people tick. As a white person for several decades, I believe myself up to the task. Let's start with their likes.

These are things that your average white person really likes:

- Sit-down chain restaurants on Friday nights. It's like a suburban white meat temple at your local Chili's or Applebee's on a Friday night. Yes, the food is terrible, but you can practically suck in the stale whiteness that will warm your white soul in such places.
- Farmer's markets. White people love farmer's markets, in part, because it allows them to venture into the city during daylight hours when there is less of a chance of a Negro attacking them.
- Cargo shorts. White people love cargo shorts in the summer months. If you see a white man under the age of 50 who is wearing shorts other than cargo shorts in July, call me immediately.
- Mad Men. Now that we all have cable, Mad Men is "must-see" television for white people. It harkens back to an era when white people were at the top of their games.
- Minivans. Ask yourself this, if you had 2.3 white children, would a four-door sedan be large enough for all 3.3 or 4.3 of you to go to the youth soccer game? Of course not.
- Oprah. White women love Oprah. In the same way Bill Clinton was the first black president, Oprah is the first honorary white person.
- Self-help books. White people simply have more challenges and obstacles than everyone else. Fortunately, there are people out there who have most of the solutions to their problems, and they've written it all down, which leads me to...
- Kindles. White people love Kindles. It's like a book, but even better because there are buttons and stuff.
- Pets. White people accumulate pets like toads accumulate warts. It's a proven fact. Look it up in whogo's science book.
- Motorcycles. Middle-aged white men love motorcycles so much, they will even put on black leather chaps, bandanas and shave their arms just to have the pleasure of riding a crappy piece of machinery from Milwaukee, Wisconsin with only two wheels.
- Guns. White people love guns. This is mostly because white people believe it be self-evident that criminals will want to target them before any other groups.
- Closure. When something bad happens, from a death in the family all the way down to the pineapple upside down cake that didn't turn out, you will frequently hear white people speak of the need to have "closure."

What white people don't like:

- Black men. I cannot properly convey the terror they experience in words.
- Being the objects of humor. Yes, they've heard and even indulged in humor about other groups, but when the humor is pointed back upon them, they cannot be offended fast enough. Tell a joke about white people and watch the righteous indignation rise as thick as steam into the atmosphere.
- Taxes. White people hate taxes. They think those taxes are going to poor black people who spend it on crack and Colt 45 and rap music.
- Foreign languages. They're confusing to American white people and it makes them feel out of the loop. I really should have "being out of the loop" as a separate dislike, but I'll just stick it here.
- Mean people. In fact, some have gone so far as to have, "Mean people s*ck" made into a bumper sticker. Many a therapy session has been scheduled just to help white people deal with a mean person in their lives who is just, like, totally ruining their lives.
Speak for yourself. Apparently you have no idea what others think!
 
Old 09-09-2012, 10:55 AM
 
Location: Holiday, FL
1,571 posts, read 1,997,799 times
Reputation: 1165
Quote:
Originally Posted by cometclear View Post
Thinking back to a couple weeks ago when a non-white wondered what a birthday party put on by white folks would be like, I think it appropriate to explain more about what makes white people tick. As a white person for several decades, I believe myself up to the task. Let's start with their likes.

These are things that your average white person really likes:

- Sit-down chain restaurants on Friday nights. It's like a suburban white meat temple at your local Chili's or Applebee's on a Friday night. Yes, the food is terrible, but you can practically suck in the stale whiteness that will warm your white soul in such places.
- Farmer's markets. White people love farmer's markets, in part, because it allows them to venture into the city during daylight hours when there is less of a chance of a Negro attacking them.
- Cargo shorts. White people love cargo shorts in the summer months. If you see a white man under the age of 50 who is wearing shorts other than cargo shorts in July, call me immediately.
- Mad Men. Now that we all have cable, Mad Men is "must-see" television for white people. It harkens back to an era when white people were at the top of their games.
- Minivans. Ask yourself this, if you had 2.3 white children, would a four-door sedan be large enough for all 3.3 or 4.3 of you to go to the youth soccer game? Of course not.
- Oprah. White women love Oprah. In the same way Bill Clinton was the first black president, Oprah is the first honorary white person.
- Self-help books. White people simply have more challenges and obstacles than everyone else. Fortunately, there are people out there who have most of the solutions to their problems, and they've written it all down, which leads me to...
- Kindles. White people love Kindles. It's like a book, but even better because there are buttons and stuff.
- Pets. White people accumulate pets like toads accumulate warts. It's a proven fact. Look it up in whogo's science book.
- Motorcycles. Middle-aged white men love motorcycles so much, they will even put on black leather chaps, bandanas and shave their arms just to have the pleasure of riding a crappy piece of machinery from Milwaukee, Wisconsin with only two wheels.
- Guns. White people love guns. This is mostly because white people believe it be self-evident that criminals will want to target them before any other groups.
- Closure. When something bad happens, from a death in the family all the way down to the pineapple upside down cake that didn't turn out, you will frequently hear white people speak of the need to have "closure."

What white people don't like:

- Black men. I cannot properly convey the terror they experience in words.
- Being the objects of humor. Yes, they've heard and even indulged in humor about other groups, but when the humor is pointed back upon them, they cannot be offended fast enough. Tell a joke about white people and watch the righteous indignation rise as thick as steam into the atmosphere.
- Taxes. White people hate taxes. They think those taxes are going to poor black people who spend it on crack and Colt 45 and rap music.
- Foreign languages. They're confusing to American white people and it makes them feel out of the loop. I really should have "being out of the loop" as a separate dislike, but I'll just stick it here.
- Mean people. In fact, some have gone so far as to have, "Mean people s*ck" made into a bumper sticker. Many a therapy session has been scheduled just to help white people deal with a mean person in their lives who is just, like, totally ruining their lives.
Ok... I'm "white", or so they tell me...

So, WHY so some people insist on trying to tell me what I do or don't like?????????

I'm big enough and old enough to make up my own mind.
 
Old 09-09-2012, 12:59 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
12,322 posts, read 17,089,650 times
Reputation: 19556
Quote:
Originally Posted by cometclear View Post
Thinking back to a couple weeks ago when a non-white wondered what a birthday party put on by white folks would be like, I think it appropriate to explain more about what makes white people tick. As a white person for several decades, I believe myself up to the task. Let's start with their likes.

These are things that your average white person really likes:

- Sit-down chain restaurants on Friday nights. It's like a suburban white meat temple at your local Chili's or Applebee's on a Friday night. Yes, the food is terrible, but you can practically suck in the stale whiteness that will warm your white soul in such places.
- Farmer's markets. White people love farmer's markets, in part, because it allows them to venture into the city during daylight hours when there is less of a chance of a Negro attacking them.
- Cargo shorts. White people love cargo shorts in the summer months. If you see a white man under the age of 50 who is wearing shorts other than cargo shorts in July, call me immediately.
- Mad Men. Now that we all have cable, Mad Men is "must-see" television for white people. It harkens back to an era when white people were at the top of their games.
- Minivans. Ask yourself this, if you had 2.3 white children, would a four-door sedan be large enough for all 3.3 or 4.3 of you to go to the youth soccer game? Of course not.
- Oprah. White women love Oprah. In the same way Bill Clinton was the first black president, Oprah is the first honorary white person.
- Self-help books. White people simply have more challenges and obstacles than everyone else. Fortunately, there are people out there who have most of the solutions to their problems, and they've written it all down, which leads me to...
- Kindles. White people love Kindles. It's like a book, but even better because there are buttons and stuff.
- Pets. White people accumulate pets like toads accumulate warts. It's a proven fact. Look it up in whogo's science book.
- Motorcycles. Middle-aged white men love motorcycles so much, they will even put on black leather chaps, bandanas and shave their arms just to have the pleasure of riding a crappy piece of machinery from Milwaukee, Wisconsin with only two wheels.
- Guns. White people love guns. This is mostly because white people believe it be self-evident that criminals will want to target them before any other groups.
- Closure. When something bad happens, from a death in the family all the way down to the pineapple upside down cake that didn't turn out, you will frequently hear white people speak of the need to have "closure."

What white people don't like:

- Black men. I cannot properly convey the terror they experience in words.
- Being the objects of humor. Yes, they've heard and even indulged in humor about other groups, but when the humor is pointed back upon them, they cannot be offended fast enough. Tell a joke about white people and watch the righteous indignation rise as thick as steam into the atmosphere.
- Taxes. White people hate taxes. They think those taxes are going to poor black people who spend it on crack and Colt 45 and rap music.
- Foreign languages. They're confusing to American white people and it makes them feel out of the loop. I really should have "being out of the loop" as a separate dislike, but I'll just stick it here.
- Mean people. In fact, some have gone so far as to have, "Mean people s*ck" made into a bumper sticker. Many a therapy session has been scheduled just to help white people deal with a mean person in their lives who is just, like, totally ruining their lives.
You missed! We all like Star Wars, Heavy metal and Jersey shore too. You have figured out the human condition 100%. Stop by the gift counter to get your free glow in the dark decoder ring.

Half-white guy here by the way.
 
Old 09-09-2012, 01:53 PM
 
33,387 posts, read 34,745,522 times
Reputation: 20030
Quote:
Originally Posted by cometclear View Post
Trucks. White men love trucks. Even if they live in a world of pavement, white men believe they must have a truck. God only knows when five feet of snow will fall in suburban Charlotte or the next time I will have to haul boulders off the freeway just to get home after work.
i like trucks, but not the large lifted 4x4s that many seem to like. i prefer mine to fit the environment that they will operate in, like a lowered early 80s ranger pick up with a healthy 302 swapped in i=place of the stock four popper.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cometclear View Post
Fudge and salt water taffy shops. White people love fudge and salt water taffy shops. Go to any tourist trap and you will see white people piling in to grab overpriced fudge and taffy.

Also, coffee shops. White people love coffee shops. Actually, if you want to see white nirvana, observe a white person sipping a latte while reading a Kindle in cargo shorts, munching on a Danish.
except for the fudge(and even then i can do without it), more stuff i dont like.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bigskydude View Post
I'm a white guy .. have been for years ..
what were you before?
 
Old 09-09-2012, 01:53 PM
 
5,261 posts, read 4,148,137 times
Reputation: 2264
Well, one thing this thread has accomplished, it has certainly dispelled the stereotype that whites are incapable fo laughing at themselves and are hyper-sensitive whiners.

Mission accomplished.
 
Old 09-09-2012, 02:08 PM
 
4,739 posts, read 4,425,591 times
Reputation: 2485
Okay, I'm in Marketing. What most people refer to as "white people" isn't actually white, just a social/demographic that the average american falls into. As often as not being white isn't quite as important in these situations as education, salary, and area.



- Sit-down chain restaurants on Friday nights. It's like a suburban white meat temple at your local Chili's or Applebee's on a Friday night. Yes, the food is terrible, but you can practically suck in the stale whiteness that will warm your white soul in such places.

Most likely a mass restaurant such as these cater to middle/upper income, families, and suburbia. Based on that 9/10 chance is that the customer profile is white. Yet this doesn't mean its a "white" restaurant. . .If you go in the same area to McDonalds or Mortons you will - most likely - see a similar event. In fact, due to income disparity as the price goes up you are more and more likely to see less minorities. I think this is too bad, but isn't a "white" thing.

The average Applebee's demographic profile/target is as follows:
o 35-54 year old core target, 25-34 secondary target
o Average age: 39.5
o Approximately 55% female/45% male
o Average HHI: 55K+
o 64% Married
o 42% HH with children:
o 50%+ college degreed





The rest of this diatribe is more of the same. LIke "stuff white people like" and the similar . .

Yet, as we look at the applebee core target. . what you are seeing is not "what white people like" but what families making over 60k a year like . . . and due to the income disparity by race that will be 8/10 white 2/10 other. . .

not fair, but thats life.
 
Old 09-09-2012, 02:42 PM
 
5,261 posts, read 4,148,137 times
Reputation: 2264
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChrisFromChicago View Post
Okay, I'm in Marketing. What most people refer to as "white people" isn't actually white, just a social/demographic that the average american falls into. As often as not being white isn't quite as important in these situations as education, salary, and area.



- Sit-down chain restaurants on Friday nights. It's like a suburban white meat temple at your local Chili's or Applebee's on a Friday night. Yes, the food is terrible, but you can practically suck in the stale whiteness that will warm your white soul in such places.

Most likely a mass restaurant such as these cater to middle/upper income, families, and suburbia. Based on that 9/10 chance is that the customer profile is white. Yet this doesn't mean its a "white" restaurant. . .If you go in the same area to McDonalds or Mortons you will - most likely - see a similar event. In fact, due to income disparity as the price goes up you are more and more likely to see less minorities. I think this is too bad, but isn't a "white" thing.

The average Applebee's demographic profile/target is as follows:
o 35-54 year old core target, 25-34 secondary target
o Average age: 39.5
o Approximately 55% female/45% male
o Average HHI: 55K+
o 64% Married
o 42% HH with children:
o 50%+ college degreed





The rest of this diatribe is more of the same. LIke "stuff white people like" and the similar . .

Yet, as we look at the applebee core target. . what you are seeing is not "what white people like" but what families making over 60k a year like . . . and due to the income disparity by race that will be 8/10 white 2/10 other. . .

not fair, but thats life.
Whoops, forgot to add, "Elongated, comprehensive statistical analyses of frivolous topics." White people also like that.

You might want to save this data so it can used at a later date in a Power Point presentation down at the office if/when Applebee's hires your firm. If I could just throw my two cents in, I would advise them to improve upon the Alpo-like food they serve and also cease with the Happy Birthday songs they force their peons to sing for the dumpy families who roll on in on those Friday nights. I would also suggest working in some of those things white people like into the advertising. You know, have they considered adding more fudge and salt water taffy to the menu? Could they have the wait staff peons put on some magic for the kiddies? How about cargo short nights? Show up in cargos and receive free meals for kids under 10 and free drinks for adults. What about working out some sort of reciprocal voucher deal with Pier One? White women love Pier One. I think they'll eat it up.
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