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A pedophile is an adult whom prefers sexual intercourse with a person under 12 yrs old. Those are our babies and no, I don't think anybody who steals the innocence from a child for their own sexual gratification should never ever be forgiven,never!!
I watched a movie once(can't remember the name)about a house of prostitution and there was one lady who dressed like a little girl and all the other ladies didn't like her and couldn't understand why she would dress that way.in the movie,when they confronted her about it she said"if I can keep those creepy hands off one little girl"
I'm very late weighing in on this thread, but I couldn't resist. My daughter was sexually abused by her own father (my ex-husband) when she was only nine years old, and that creep deliberately manipulated her into offering to uh... "service" him! She's still dealing with the guilt and other psychological consequences, and she just turned 28 a couple of weeks ago! This is why I can never forgive him:
1) He never owned up to what he did, even though he spent five years in prison after plea bargaining.
2) If he ever did own up and apologize, I'm 100% certain that it it wouldn't be sincere. It's all about him, believe me.
3) My daughter is still paying the price for his behavior.
4) The very person he was supposed to protect is the one he abused.
I don't believe in rehabilitation. Now, do kids experiment when they're in their teens? Yes. That's different. I don't get hysterical over things like that. I do get crazy when a grown man goes after a child, however.
My ex-husband told me that his mother used to sexually abuse him when she'd drink, which was often when he was in his teens. Then again, he always had a way of twisting reality to suit whatever he wanted. I believe something happened to twist him into the knotted excuse for a person that he is now, but I don't care what the reasons are. Behavior is everything. Lots of people who were abused go on to not abuse others. It's just that simple.
Your ex is a narcissist. I don't know if all pedophiles are narcissist but that one sure sounds like he is. And by the way, narcissists have a lack of empathy for others. They can blend and know how to behave acceptably, what is right and wrong, etc., but they don't feel a natural empathy for others inside. It's all pretty much pretend.
Your ex is a narcissist. I don't know if all pedophiles are narcissist but that one sure sounds like he is. And by the way, narcissists have a lack of empathy for others. They can blend and know how to behave acceptably, what is right and wrong, etc., but they don't feel a natural empathy for others inside. It's all pretty much pretend.
Or a psychopath, or both. Narcissists desperately need attention, acceptance, and approval, or they get very angry and blame others. Psychopaths only care about people paying attention to them as it relates to them getting what they want. Both lack empathy, but can fake it for social purposes, both see others as objects to be used as needed.
Some believe that the majority of pedophiles are psychopathic, and pedophilia could even be a subset of psychopathy. I believe that would be hard to ever truly discern because we don't know about the possibility of people having the pedophilic sexual tastes, but never acting on them because they have empathy, and know that it would hurt a child. For the most part only the pedophiles who act on their desires will be studied, and they would be more likely to be psychopaths.
Pedophiles/child sex abusers can never be forgiven.
If you TRULY forgive them, you would be willing to TRUST them and leave them alone with a child.
If a woman chooses to forgive her husband for cheating on her, she would not hire a detective to follow him around or ban him from having female friends or otherwise treat him with suspicion. She would trust her husband to do the right thing. Of course adultery is no where near as bad as raping/molesting a child, but I'm sure most people can see where my analogy is going.
Or a psychopath, or both. Narcissists desperately need attention, acceptance, and approval, or they get very angry and blame others. Psychopaths only care about people paying attention to them as it relates to them getting what they want. Both lack empathy, but can fake it for social purposes, both see others as objects to be used as needed.
Some believe that the majority of pedophiles are psychopathic, and pedophilia could even be a subset of psychopathy. I believe that would be hard to ever truly discern because we don't know about the possibility of people having the pedophilic sexual tastes, but never acting on them because they have empathy, and know that it would hurt a child. For the most part only the pedophiles who act on their desires will be studied, and they would be more likely to be psychopaths.
Makes sense that pedophiles would be psychopaths.
It's a shame people aren't born with an empathy rating tattooed on their forehead. Of course, if that were the case we'd have too few CEOs, too few military leaders, too few a-holes telling everyone else how to live, too few Republicans, too few criminals and thugs, too few abusive husbands, too few serial killers, and few religious leaders, because all those with a significantly low empathy scale rating would've had their sociopathic @#$ kicked long ago, been sent away to a prison island, and no one would have a thing to do with them.
Allow me to focus more on the word "could" than anything else here. I think pretty much everyone COULD (that is, they CAN) forgive a pedophile so long as the victim wasn't their child or a child they know well. Otherwise, it's probably half-and-half in terms of who CAN forgive. The real question is, WOULD you?
Second, of course, is defining "forgive". If you mean allowing them to live out their life normally after prison, I'd say sure. Truth be told, there are probably very few children who are molested non-violently one time and remain ever traumatized by the incident. Why should the offender suffer such a dramatically larger fate than the crime he/she committed? The memory of their time in prison should match the child's memory of the offense well enough to serve as ongoing "punishment" to fit the crime.
If, by "forgive", you mean being in any way NICE to them, there's no chance. I couldn't even be nice to someone who molested someone ELSE'S kid, much less my own.
Lastly, if by "forgive" you mean "letting it go" in the walls of my own mind, I don't think anyone can say what they can, can't, would, or wouldn't do until after it's happened. I'd certainly TRY, naturally.
If somebody who had molested a child a couple of times (let's say the details are unimportant but it did not involve lasting physical injuries), after doing his time (and surviving in jail), sincerely repented and swore that he would never do it again, do you think you could personally ever forgive him? And do you think he deserves forgiveness? Assuming you could believe he would never do it. I guess they're slighted related questions.
While I'm as shocked by child abuse as anybody, the way in which they are beyond forgiveness and are hated, more than mass murderers or serial killers, is slightly disturbing. Actually what I'm more concerned about is the witch-hunt/hysterical attitude. Many people guilty of lesser crimes (i.e. consensual sex with say a 14 year old minor, or even something as minor as accidentally exposing yourself to children without intent) are often given the same tag. I don't have children so I can't say what I'd do if it happened to one of my own children, but I'd like to think if they have truly turned away there's a place for forgiveness for everybody.
I understand there are countless people who've been abused or have a love one who has been, and I think it's totally understandable to never be able to forgive. I'm not saying you're a lesser person. Nor, I think, should those who do forgive be made to feel guilty or that they condone or tolerate pedophilia.
I guess what it comes down to is: should they be shot/locked away forever, even if it was just one time, or should they be 'rehabilitated?' I mean like a murderer or rapist you never REALLY know, which is the disturbing part, but then again there are pedophiles lurking around who haven't committed an offence yet. I guess even if it's a 'sexual orientation' it's not one that society can tolerate, so maybe they could be given a chemical that removes their desire or castrated?
No. And they should NEVER EVER again be allowed to be anywhere around where children are. Even their own if they have any.
Nope, never. You know me i am always honest to the best of my ability, like it or not and no you do not have to like me but i am honest.
Being sexually abused by a family member when i was a little girl, nope i cannot. I did not understand, i was scared, knew something was wrong, and a different kind of feeling, not knowing if it was good or bad right or wrong. I was very afraid to say anything, thinking i may have caused this, when you a small child, you can't understand the whole scope of what we know as adults.
No it took me a very long time to put that part of my past behind me, infact i cannot even hate the person who did this to me, now dead, but i have forgiven him. Not my Father or syblings.
He did things to me, i did not know or did i understand no i did not. I had problems for a long long time, until i realized, that he was the one with the problem not me. I will never forget, and took a very long time for me to forgive. I forgave, because i came to the realization, that it was nothing i did, and now had an awarness of this problem. Only thing i want to stress, is any young women on this forum, who feels she is being sexually abused in anyway by a family member, don't be afraid to tell someone trusting of this problem. If i told my Dad he would of killed this person, that much i realized even at that small age.
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Of course, if that were the case we'd have too few CEOs, too few military leaders, too few a-holes telling everyone else how to live, too few Republicans, too few criminals and thugs, too few abusive husbands, too few serial killers, and few religious leaders, because all those with a significantly low empathy scale rating would've had their sociopathic @#$ kicked long ago, been sent away to a prison island, and no one would have a thing to do with them. 
