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This isn't just white women. Seems to happen with most non-black women. They think why would you choose a black woman when you could have me?
Quote:
Originally Posted by calipoppy
The truth is that there are a LOT of White women who think that way. There is standard belief amongst more than a few that 'their' beauty and desirability is far superior to that of women of color, in general, and to that of Black women specifically.
Even with some of my White (as well as Hispanic and Asian) friends, there have been numerous incidents and tensions if I am approached by, dating or in a relationship with a (usually White) man whom they find to be a "catch". No one EVER talks about this but a lot of White/non-Black women can not stand a Black woman being chosen over her. I have dealt with this situation numerous times throughout my life and it always saddens me because basically it comes down to these women feeling a sense of superiority despite our friendship.
It is viewed as the ultimate insult to these women for a man, any man, to chose a Black woman over them.
I've been thinking lately that it would be great to be an Asian American woman. Over 98 percent of Asian American women have partners, I rarely see any Asian women alone. Also, Asian woman tend to get the best type of educated and professional men.
I'm black and I have a great education, also I'm thin and cute, but I'm alone, and I know it's due to my race. Professional high earning men tend to prefer Asian and white women. Please spare me the few examples, such as Obama, and others because this is simply not the norm.
I just wonder what a black young woman can do to garner the same respect as Asian women?
I am very shy and soft spoken, with a very good career. Also, I'm a size 2.
What am I doing wrong, how can I get quality guys to see past the fact that I'm black?
Yes, it is wrong that you think that way and quite frankly, the bolded parts are wrong. I used to work in a hospital pharmacy with 4 Asian women and 3 of them were single (1 by choice). I won't deny that statistically on average black women have a tougher time finding a man. However, I have never met a "thin and cute...shy and soft spoken...size 2" (your words) black woman who couldn't get a man. It's only the stereotypical fat, loud ghetto-ish women that men are repulsed by (black or otherwise). If you're single it's probably because there's something undesirable about you that you haven't told us, or if you really are as good as you claim to be maybe men think you're already taken or not interested.
Yes, it is wrong that you think that way and quite frankly, the bolded parts are wrong. I used to work in a hospital pharmacy with 4 Asian women and 3 of them were single (1 by choice). I won't deny that statistically on average black women have a tougher time finding a man. However, I have never met a "thin and cute...shy and soft spoken...size 2" (your words) black woman who couldn't get a man. It's only the stereotypical fat, loud ghetto-ish women that men are repulsed by (black or otherwise). If you're single it's probably because there's something undesirable about you that you haven't told us, or if you really are as good as you claim to be maybe men think you're already taken or not interested.
Actually, I don't agree. The non-educated (I won't call them "ghetto-ish") black women that I know have a much easier time finding men to date because there are lots of non-educated black men out there for them.
Actually, I don't agree. The non-educated (I won't call them "ghetto-ish") black women that I know have a much easier time finding men to date because there are lots of non-educated black men out there for them.
True but I assumed the OP was talking about an interracial dating perspective since she asked 'how can I get quality guys to see past the fact that I'm black.'
True but I assumed the OP was talking about an interracial dating perspective since she asked 'how can I get quality guys to see past the fact that I'm black.'
In case you've missed it, black men don't always prefer black women, so I assumed she was talking about "professional, high earning" black men too.
That's because Asian women like to have someone with them. I have a lot of Asian friends and we joke about this all the time. Nuns and Asian women always travel by twos. You will never see an Asian woman in a restaurant going to the restroom by herself. She'll ask someone to go with her. And, because she's asked for company...... surprise! She has company.
She'll also tell you how great you look and admire your jewelry and ask for your advice on how to handle her mother before you get back to the table.
See.... the secret isn't that they're smarter or cuter. Their secret is that they know how to give and be a friend. They know how to make other people feel wanted and needed. They give more than they take.
You had a lot about yourself in the OP. But not one word about what you have to give to another person. Chew on that because your being black has nothing to do with why you are sitting behind a computer and not out with friends saying, "I have to go to the powder room. Come with me!"
Last edited by DewDropInn; 04-02-2013 at 09:03 PM..
It is true that Asian women are very likely to be partnered up. As an educated black woman (young) while I'm happy for my friends it does hurt just a bit to be a bridesmaid and get tons of wedding invitations. I have a lot of white friends. Really friends of all races but a good deal white and almost all either are or will be getting married well before 27.
I understand the "Wow she's lucky, she got everything" sentiment. It's not so much as wanting too much or having too high standards but wanting to be "normal" but as a black woman sometimes you have to reconcile "normal" for your race and where you live.
26 year old guy, say an engineer NO KIDS great job educated, wonderful to boot great family - the dingdongs he stays away from, good income by the millions in every direction in every race. In the black community you get lucky. You're not going to be a black women doctor and be open to thousands upon thousands of black men doctors. Everyone else has a preference and most do prefer same race partners so it's kind of sad for people to always say to black women "well look outside your race" as if they're really saying because you HAVE too because you're wanting too much because you don't have that many options. When it really kind of is the truth.
You shouldn't have to marry down, have people thinking you're wanting too much or being materialistic. Everyone else wants someone similar to them on every level too so why can't black women as well? It's an absurd notion but it's always brought up as an option for black women only.
Sure it's amazing to get the nice great guy but it gets kind of old to always be the black woman being the one pulling most of the weight income wise. That's something I think a lot of us have to "settle" for while women of other races don't. I think that's part of the reason while white, Asian, Hispanic, whatever are able to be stay at home mothers.
That's because Asian women like to have someone with them. I have a lot of Asian friends and we joke about this all the time. Nuns and Asian women always travel by twos. You will never see an Asian woman in a restaurant going to the restroom by herself. She'll ask someone to go with her. And, because she's asked for company...... surprise! She has company.
She'll also tell you how great you look and admire your jewelry and ask for your advice on how to handle her mother before you get back to the table.
See.... the secret isn't that they're smarter or cuter. Their secret is that they know how to give and be a friend. They know how to make other people feel wanted and needed. They give more than they take.
You had a lot about yourself in the OP. But not one word about what you have to give to another person. Chew on that because your being black has nothing to do with why you are sitting behind a computer and not out with friends saying, "I have to go to the powder room. Come with me!"
Chew on what?
What would be the point of her saying what she has to give?
Black women are always asked to give more everywhere,whether relationship wise,income wise,or on the job.
Hell,if she wants to be so giving,why not marry a homeless man? I'm sure she would have so much to give him(sarcastic)
In any event,I do know many single Asian women,mostly American born.
Indian women,well,their men are very loyal. It has nothing to do with giving.
The Pakistani women I know,most marry their cousins.
I am black too and wish I was Asian, heck I hate everything about me expecially skintone.
I feel for u OP.
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