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Old 03-01-2013, 09:08 AM
 
Location: Texas
1,187 posts, read 995,380 times
Reputation: 593

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Quote:
Originally Posted by carolac View Post
Chief, I am in agreement with you 99.999% of the time and have repped you so many times, I can't anymore until I spread it around. In this case, try to see it as almost a mental issue that makes no sense at all to the outside world, but is a prison to many--a self-inflicted prison, but a prison nonetheless. It's not something that people can just snap out of. I didn't understand it myself, was frustrated with women who "allowed" this, until I started to work with women in prison, women having great struggles after abortions, and women in abusive situations. It's a whole different world.
I usually agree with him too, but not in this case. It's definitely something that you can't understand unless you KNOW it, either first hand or watching it happen.
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Old 03-01-2013, 09:11 AM
 
19,633 posts, read 12,226,539 times
Reputation: 26428
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wyndsong71 View Post
And things aren't as black and white as that! Especially when domestic abuse is concerned. It's ridiculous to expect a woman who is constantly being beaten and raped to try and over power someone in that moment. Yes, there are cases when someone has killed their spouse and CLAIMED abuse, but there has been none, but there are many more where that was the only time the woman could safely get away from him.

I don't believe that a woman should be just "taken at her word" for these cases, but it also can't be looked at as so cut and dry either.
Even if someone has been abused for years, you can't kill a person in their sleep. You just can't.

You may leave when they are asleep, not take a weapon and kill them.
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Old 03-01-2013, 09:11 AM
 
277 posts, read 228,805 times
Reputation: 71
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaymax View Post
When a 5'2" 90 pound woman hits a 6' 2" 250 pound man with a closed fist, do you think she is going to do as much damage as the man hitting the woman with a closed fist?

.
why use such a lopsided example

you example shows an extremely underweight woman, going against an obese man
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Old 03-01-2013, 09:19 AM
 
17,842 posts, read 14,384,541 times
Reputation: 4113
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnonymouseX View Post
The fact that the law even has to say that implies there are no protections for men.

And the CDC found that 40% of DV victims were men. Not just DV but severe, physical DV.

That ~13% of men are DV victims. Women come in at 25%. Not exactly a huge statistical difference.

The CDC.. Argue that...

For men:

About 1 in 7 men has experienced severe physical violence by an intimate partner at some point in their lifetime.

CDC Online Newsroom - Press Release: December 14, 2011

CDC - National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS) - Funded Programs - Violence Prevention - Injury

Attachment 108168
Easy to argue for anyone who actually knows something about this topic.

Do a little research on 'gender symmetry' and DV. A woman shooting a male partner in self-defence or in retaliation after years of violence by him towards her is counted as an 'incident' of female against male intimate partner violence.
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Old 03-01-2013, 09:22 AM
 
17,842 posts, read 14,384,541 times
Reputation: 4113
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnonymouseX View Post
Hoff, B. H. (2012), National Study: More Men than Women Victims of Intimate Partner Physical Violence, Psychological Aggression. Over 40% of victims of severe physical violence are men.

SUMMARY: According to a 2010 national survey by the Centers for Disease Control and U.S. Department of Justice, in the last 12 months more men than women were victims of intimate partner physical violence and over 40% of severe physical violence was directed at men.

And men are LESS likely to admit to being abused than women so realistically those numbers are lower than what actually happens.

Can we have a Violence Against Men Act???
You are taking that study out of context. Have you even read it? Or any studies on intimate partner violence?
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Old 03-01-2013, 09:25 AM
 
Location: Texas
1,187 posts, read 995,380 times
Reputation: 593
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fox Terrier View Post
Thanks! I'm glad I got away alive.

You know, KUchief is correct in one instance..girls should be raised to be self-reliant and confident. Unfortunately, I was not raised that way; my mother (a self-absorbed histrionic psycho) took every opportunity to belittle me when I was a child so I guess I was ripe for an abusive relationship.
ya know, I wasn't raised that way. I was raised by a single mom who got away from her abuser long before I was born. I was raised to be strong, self reliant and watch for abusive behavior. What I wasn't taught, is that abuse comes in many forms besides being hit. The physical abuse is usually the last type of abuse you'll encounter as an abuse victim. If I had been hit, I would have left right away.. but the emotional and financial abuse I went through, I wasn't prepared for. I didn't know to look for it or how to combat it.. so I accepted it, until I was ready to give up. Then instead of giving up, I left, for the sake of my kids. 15 years later, I"m still dealing with recovery of the abuse. I don't have the "victim mentality", but I was a victim. I hope I have raised my boys to see abuse differently than I was.
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Old 03-01-2013, 09:33 AM
 
Location: Central Maine
2,865 posts, read 3,631,521 times
Reputation: 4020
It's sad because men (and I don't mean just gay or transgender either) are also victims of domestic abuse in far more numbers than reported yet this law appears to do nothing for them.

[SIZE=3]http://www.livescience.com/2082-men-hidden-victims-domestic-violence.html[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/male_victims_of_domestic_violence.html[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/male_victims_of_domestic_violence.html[/SIZE]
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic-violence-men-abused-by-women.htm
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Old 03-01-2013, 09:38 AM
 
Location: Del Rio, TN
39,869 posts, read 26,508,031 times
Reputation: 25771
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellemint View Post
After a year-long delay, the House finally voted 286-138 to pass the Violence Against Women Act. The newly passed legislation creates and expands federal programs to assist local communities with law enforcement and aiding victims of domestic and sexual abuse.


Originally passed in 1994 and reauthorized since, the act provides support for organizations that serve male or female domestic violence victims. On average, three women a day die at the hands of their husbands or boyfriends. Apparently 138 Republicans don't think that's a problem.


http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/01/us...anted=all&_r=0
Meh. Domestic violence is already illegal in every state in the union. Police, courts and crime control are local responsibilities. No reason to bog things down with another idiotic federal government program, let states and cities (and their taxpayers) deal with their own problems. Just another case of feel-good programs driving the federal government into areas they don't belong.

If you want to do something meaningful about violence against women...help them get concealled carry permits, and actually lock up domestic abusers for a long time. Our idiotic revolving door justice system encourages and perpetuates this problem.
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Old 03-01-2013, 09:40 AM
 
17,401 posts, read 11,975,567 times
Reputation: 16155
Quote:
Originally Posted by DeadSpeak View Post
how many women have you hit or beaten ? I understand in a moment of passion things can change but you should never have to hit someone. That really should be the last option, if anything go out and leave and take a walk give yourself time to cool down. Too any impatient people in this country, and who said the family would be broken up over it? If you have that little self control over yourself to not hit your wife what would stop the person from hitting there kids when they get a little bit flustered ?

Yeahh Aero!! Your a real man hoooyeahhh ! why don't you hop back in your time machine to the 50's when beating your wife was seen as a good thing. Go on show us how big of bada@@ you really are !

Stop with the bs semantics unpleasant speech or threatening speech they both mean the same thing. You do realize there is such a thing as emotional abuse right ? If anything emotional is much worse because it undermines the persons self confidence and makes them a virtual prisoner of there own mind.
No they do not mean the same thing.

Unpleasant speech: you're ugly, I hate you, you're irritating me right now, you need to clean up your act and act like an adult.

Threatening speech: I'm going to punch you, hurt your kids, kill you.

If you're threatened by the first example, you're a pathetic human being that needs to grow a backbone and stand up for yourself.
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Old 03-01-2013, 09:56 AM
 
Location: Texas
1,187 posts, read 995,380 times
Reputation: 593
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toyman at Jewel Lake View Post
Meh. Domestic violence is already illegal in every state in the union. Police, courts and crime control are local responsibilities. No reason to bog things down with another idiotic federal government program, let states and cities (and their taxpayers) deal with their own problems. Just another case of feel-good programs driving the federal government into areas they don't belong.

If you want to do something meaningful about violence against women...help them get concealled carry permits, and actually lock up domestic abusers for a long time. Our idiotic revolving door justice system encourages and perpetuates this problem.
This is not a NEW law though, this is an old law being renewed and updated. This law is the REASON most states have programs and laws to protect abuse victims.
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