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My folks have been in an active adult community for over 20 years and have planned things the best they can. There is some money if they need to hire help, I'm available as well, and hopefully whatever happens they can stay in their house until the end. Unfortunately we can't predict how "the end" unfolds so nobody really knows if they will be able to do what they want or not. People like me can say "oh sure, I'll do it" but you know, my life and situation may be quite different than I expect as well. I've gone through some major changes of my own the last 5 years and my sibling has health burdens now that nobody saw coming. All we can do it play it by ear so crowing about what we plan to do is pointless really.
My Father has Alzheimer's. We pay to have in house help as Mom just can't keep up with his needs anymore. If Mom were to pass there is no way we could have Dad safely stay in our house by himself, we'd have to have someone care for him the entire day. I suppose I could quit my job and then we could all be homeless. I don't see that being much of a solution.
If someone can afford to sit home all day and care for someone they should feel lucky. There are not many that can.
in this nation. To me this is a result of the consumerist, selfish mindset that has permeated this nation. Please spare me the PC all races do this crapola. Ive seen the numbers and more whites throw their parents in nursing homes than do hispanics, blacks, and Asians. What a dirtbag mentality. The people who have given you life and brought you into this world, raised you and you cant be bothered with them? I am white, but I'll call out my own race when I have to and call a spade a spade. When it comes to how to respect your elders and treat your parents I really admire as we all should the Asians and Indians.
Maybe because someone has to work and pay the taxes the greedy government expects. Not everyone has the luxury of having the government provide for them so they can provide 24-7 care for their elderly.
The underlying and unmentioned part of nursing elderly parents is it is mostly done by the younger women in the family. It is just a continuation of the role of family slave given to most women in most cultures. I consider that to be unacceptable. I figure I'll give away most of my assets before I need elder care and then let the state pay for it.
Very true. It requires a culture where the women stay submissive and don't have careers. Virtually always it is one woman who ends up being the caretaker, she does all the bathing, feeding, very often not a single other family member will step in to allow her to have a day off or vacation or travel. This woman must give up having a family of her own in many cases.
in this nation. To me this is a result of the consumerist, selfish mindset that has permeated this nation. Please spare me the PC all races do this crapola. Ive seen the numbers and more whites throw their parents in nursing homes than do hispanics, blacks, and Asians. What a dirtbag mentality. The people who have given you life and brought you into this world, raised you and you cant be bothered with them? I am white, but I'll call out my own race when I have to and call a spade a spade. When it comes to how to respect your elders and treat your parents I really admire as we all should the Asians and Indians.
Yeah, the whole going to work and supporting the rest of this country better than our own families thing really cut into our time and money.
My kids damn well BETTER put me in the "old soldiers home" if/when it becomes necessary!
I love them all, but I don't think there is one of the 7 that I would care to live with full time.
Well, maybe one or two, but they have their own lives, and they sure don't need a grumpy old man around making them miserable!
No, "The Home" is the best bet all around!
Besides, I invested a LOT of years and putting up with military BS to qualify for that "final" benefit!
Nursing homes in the United States are shrinking and their residents are becoming proportionately more black, more Hispanic, more Asian, and less white, according to a new study by Brown University researchers.
It also requires a certain kind of parent who will raise their kids with the expectation of one becoming the free caretaker of the parents. Many parents really don't want to have their children remembering them as invalids and have their children changing their diapers.
Minority parents have less problem with that, they don't mind being helpless and expecting their children to tend to them, change their diapers, bathe them, spoon feed them. I myself would prefer being in a nursing home if I was ever to become helpless, I want my kids to have careers, have families, their own lives and am not raising any of them to be my free caretaker.
Minority parents have less problem with that, they don't mind being helpless and expecting their children to tend to them, change their diapers, bathe them, spoon feed them.
Do you even KNOW a minority? Ever eaten a meal with a Mexican friend in his home? Sat in church next to an African American? Talked with an elderly Vietnamese woman over a game of cards?
in this nation. To me this is a result of the consumerist, selfish mindset that has permeated this nation. Please spare me the PC all races do this crapola. Ive seen the numbers and more whites throw their parents in nursing homes than do hispanics, blacks, and Asians. What a dirtbag mentality. The people who have given you life and brought you into this world, raised you and you cant be bothered with them? I am white, but I'll call out my own race when I have to and call a spade a spade. When it comes to how to respect your elders and treat your parents I really admire as we all should the Asians and Indians.
Who the hell are you to disparage anyone for the choices they make? I know what a huge burden it is to take care of an incapacitated elderly parent. I've seen marriages disintegrate because of it. I know what kind of stress it puts on the kids.
For that reason, I already told my son to park me in a home and visit me on Sundays. I would never want to put that kind of pressure on him or his family. They have a life to live and it's hard enough to make it in this world without the additional baggage of a sick, demented, demanding parent.
It's MY choice. Don't like it? Too effing bad.
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