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So the women that decide they don't want children in their life at all, have no buisness being in the company and enjoying other peoples children, and should keep to themselves like they want.
Therapy 101 for the deranged....isolation
If a woman or a man decides to be child free, they forfeit being around any children ever? Your view makes no sense. I agree that therapy is needed. You should check to be sure your insurance covers it. It can be costly.
There is nothing honest about blaming your own self imposed misery and emotional shortcomings and struggles with adult life on children who played no role in the choices made by such adults. Was this some aspiring and promising actress or model or musician, who was forced to abandon their calling in life, because of an accidental pregnancy? No ... she was a 22 year old typist, who chose to get married, and chose to have children ... not just one child, but two! The point is, we are individually responsible for the choices we make and the paths we choose in life, and solely responsible for the results. I find nothing at all honest in the effort to blame others for those choices and results, but find it the supreme expression of dishonesty, by refusing to be honest with yourself, and accept full responsibility for those decisions.
She behaves as though these children were unwelcome invaders, who imposed themselves on her life, which would have turned out grand otherwise. Yet, she's never demonstrated honesty, right from the very beginning ... as she admits to marrying a man who wanted children, while she never did. This is the first instance of dishonesty. Not only was she being dishonest with her husband, from day one, but herself as well. And she continues to be dishonest, by refusing to accept her own responsibility for the choices she made . She'd rather blame the children, even now, 33 years later, the blame is placed on the kids. You think that's an expression of honesty? Hardly.
Whoa Slick! Hold on a second. I take it you didn't bother to read a word that I said. I said I dislike her. I agree that she was VERY selfish to write that post--it was pretty terrible. I agree that she should have never had kids, no matter if her husband was pressuring her. I agree that this entire thing is pretty awful on every side. My point is that SHE DID tell the truth about one thing--she hates being a mother--no matter how awful and inappropriate the way she went about it was, and no matter how it should have never, ever been said for the sake of her children. And that brings up my point--she's not alone. When people say they don't want kids, we need to believe them and not try to convince them otherwise. Don't look down on people who don't want kids and call them "selfish," because it's a whole lot more selfish to have them when they're unwanted. That's all I'm trying to say here, because whether you want to believe it or not, there's a big segment of the population that attacks women who are childless as being selfish, and there's another big segment that doesn't like children and shouldn't have them. My point is that they should remain childless for the good of everyone if that's what they want, and that's the LEAST selfish thing they could do.
Quote:
Originally Posted by GuyNTexas
I have not one iota of hostility toward women who choose not to have children. In fact, for some women (and men) it is the much better decision. My problem resides in the idea that a women or a man could look upon children as "parasites". That, I consider to be offensive, morally disgusting, spiritually bankrupt, and ABSOLUTELY ABNORMAL. That some, or even many may feel that way, does not make it any less abnormal. The reality is, for most species on the planet, there is no stronger instinct than the defense and protection of their offspring, even to the extent of overriding the natural instinct of self preservation. And that is a normal instinct of human beings as well. The absence of such natural instinct is without a doubt, ABNORMAL. I think I've made my point clear, and if you feel compelled to make excuses for this disturbed and twisted soul, who looks upon children as parasites, you ought to spend more time on self analysis, and less time analyzing me.
If I misunderstood what you were saying, then my apologies, but that's not what you said, and you went on a pretty major rant. I think there are LOTS of parents whose children annoy them more than anything else, and it's always been that way. It ranges from the parents who completely neglect their kids, to the over medicated and often drunk mothers that weren't uncommon when I was a kid. The good news is that if you don't want to have kids now, you don't have to. Thirty years ago it was another story--if you didn't get married and have a family--especially if you were a woman--most people and society in general thought there was something really really wrong with you. It's a very good thing that women have more freedom to make their own choices now, because there are a lot of moms and dads out there who, given the option, would have remained childless. My husband and I adore our children, but we know a number of families who don't feel that way. It's not pretty, but it's real.
Quote:
Originally Posted by GuyNTexas
This is not an example of "honesty" ... this is a totally unnecessary public affirmation of spiritual bankruptcy, as well as a disgusting level of selfishness, and the absence of normal human emotion that comes naturally to most people. Even the most rough and tumble male can find their more gentle side, summoned by the bright, innocent eyes of a child who looks to them for love and protection. This women sees only parasites? My oh my ... to refer to any child as a parasite is disturbing, let alone your own children. So she looks upon her own children as "parasites", consuming her and taking from her, while giving nothing meaningful back to her? Nice. This woman is not honest, she's honestly an extreme example of a narcissist, and likely a pure sociopath, who wants to blame her children for her own inability to find beauty and joy in life. But if a person cannot can't find even a glimmer of beauty in the eyes of their own children, the search for such beauty will be futile.
What the hell? They can't be great aunts, friends, cousins to my child?
nope....because their core is twisted up in selfishness.....shes not sharing, shes taking...the youngsters will pick it up in time.
those types will always use treats and money ideas to win the youngsters favor....because those things have won their favor and its all they know... shiny things.... ( in reference to the style of women explained in the thread.
It wasn't unacceptable, just funny. As in Hahahaha.
Here is a quote from a post made today in the Retirement Forum.
"I think most who have had children are lying to themselves if they think they would not go back and change something about having children: not had any at all, had less children"
Again, I would disagree with this opinion. I think most parents have regrets about mistakes in parenting they perceive they made. But, I do not think that parents who state they have no regrets about having kids are lying to themselves or repressing their true feelings or bowing to some sort of societal pressure. To suggest otherwise is as obnoxious as parents who think a child free person is missing something. Why not just respect each other's choices?
And I absolutely agree with you. I just haven't heard anyone on this forum say that, and I didn't know that it was a common sentiment on other forums. And you're right--everybody should have the right to make the choices they want to make for their own lives, and their own families--they should do what works for them. I will say this though--I think in the past there was a lot of pressure for couples to have children just because that was what you were supposed to do, and that's where some of that attitude is coming from. They never wanted to be parents to begin with. It's hard to understand it when you DO love and want your own children, but it's out there. It's as obnoxious for those folks to call people who love and enjoy their kids liars, as it is for people who think parenting was worth it to condemn others for being childless.
Children are hard enough to raise when you REALLY want them...Please do everybody a favor(yourself,your kids and society)and DO NOT have them unless you really,really,REALLY want them!!!
Thank you for a sincere honest approach to this problem. If you don't want, then friggin use protection of any kind. Is that so hard to comprehend.
And if the young teen, or women, does not believe in protection, then come on now, men young teen boys, you are not guilt free in this any more then the women.
Only difference is the women or young teen, has to go thru 9 months of carring the child. See how easy you have it.
We now have too many babies, toddlers, young children in our system waiting to be adopted, and some never do, how sad and what kind of life is this for the child. I think it is very selfish to have a child, you will never have a connection with, or that you don't want and think the child is a burden.
I have more respect for those who know they don't want children, and don't have them.
I don't care about those having sex, they do not think of the consequences, it is after the fact, and the children are always the ones to suffer.
Oh I donno....its all about not needing protection and letting go....thats my read. Anyway I don't want to get into this ..and will quietly duck outta this on an oops.
Thank you for a sincere honest approach to this problem. If you don't want, then friggin use protection of any kind. Is that so hard to comprehend.
And if the young teen, or women, does not believe in protection, then come on now, men young teen boys, you are not guilt free in this any more then the women.
Only difference is the women or young teen, has to go thru 9 months of carring the child. See how easy you have it.
We now have too many babies, toddlers, young children in our system waiting to be adopted, and some never do, how sad and what kind of life is this for the child. I think it is very selfish to have a child, you will never have a connection with, or that you don't want and think the child is a burden.
I have more respect for those who know they don't want children, and don't have them.
I don't care about those having sex, they do not think of the consequences, it is after the fact, and the children are always the ones to suffer.
Protection is not a hard thing to grasp is it!
You know it does seem we in America would be way past this, but apparently BC is hard to come by and expensive to buy... or most don't know how/why they get pregnant.
You know it does seem we in America would be way past this, but apparently BC is hard to come by and expensive to buy... or most don't know how/why they get pregnant.
The woman who wrote the essay didn't have an unplanned pregnancy. She decided to have kids with her husband because he really wanted them, even though she didn't.
And they won't let women have them until they've had a kid already.
The ignorance of some people is beyond me.
They participate in threads where this is posted frequently and still they deny the facts.
I was lucky. I didn't have to have had children to get mine. It was quick and cheap due to insurance. Not one regret (well one, I didn't get it sooner!). I DID hear horror stories though from others that weren't given one because they were too young (I was 34) or hadn't had children (I have no children).
So the women that decide they don't want children in their life at all, have no buisness being in the company and enjoying other peoples children, and should keep to themselves like they want.
Therapy 101 for the deranged....isolation
If you truly believe this, "deranged" is a word that would best describe...you.
BTW...Where did you get this "don't want children in their life at all" stuff?
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or most don't know how/why they get pregnant.
