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I have a question. Do you need to date more than one person at a time? I talk about women all the time with my friends and we have NEVER said lighter = better. What you say may very well be true, however, media =/ reality and you may be seeking confirmation of your preconceived notions. A couple of friends of mine are from Kenya and they are both dating very dark women. My gf is black and has a number of dark skinned friends that have bf's. A good friend of mine is very dark and gay and has no real issues when it comes to skin color. His sister is also dark and doesn't face any issues when it comes to skin color.
Just saying it may not be others that have the issue.
Can't get much darker than her and she is quite attractive.
Just because you know darkskin women that have boyfriends doesn't mean they are the ideal, nor have as much value in society as light/white women. They have a man, so what??? Lighterskinned women still have a much higher social standing in and outside the black community. Lighter skin is still seen as more attractive, lighter eyes is still seen as more beautiful and unique than brown eyes...
the photo of the woman you posted is still not the ideal and if you were to do a poll between her and beyonce or halle berry MOST would choose Halle or beyonce as more attractive.
Posting pictures is not going to solve my problem. I'm still darkskin with nappy hair. I'm not the ideal. Men still heavily pursue lighterskinned women all the time.
Yeah it will. My wife is darkskinned and has complete African features with thick coarse hair. She's gorgeous and she doesn't have a self esteem problem. Nor did she like the color of her skin, the features of her face, or her name get in the way of her life.
Yeah it will. My wife is darkskinned and has complete African features with thick coarse hair. She's gorgeous and she doesn't have a self esteem problem. Nor did she like the color of her skin, the features of her face, or her name get in the way of her life.
How can I be happy when people keep affirming the belief that lighter=better ? In real life and on CD there are threads about mixed race people being more attractive(people talk about this in real life too), every magazine and music video features lighter toned women, & when I go out i see most black men with lightskinned women. I can't be happy. All this just makes me depressed. The only way for this not to bother me is to become lightskinned. That way I wont feel so inferior
So what? WHY DOES IT MATTER? If someone has more approval, that means you can't have any?
You are not the only dark skinned woman in the world. So the if rest of us live in the same environment and most of us manage not to be miserable and still date... what is the reason YOU can't? The media? We all see the same media. Your observations? So you know of NO chocolate ladies who are happy? You never see dark women with a partner? Or do you not see enough for your liking?
If there are dark women with african features who date, doesn't that mean that it can't JUST be about being dark and having african features? Maybe something else is going on with you? Maybe you are focused on the wrong thing(s)?
What does it matter if someone has MORE attention? You can get your own attention. Do you want to marry everyone or just one person? Why are you competing?
Get out of your own head. See a professional to help you get there.
So what? WHY DOES IT MATTER? If someone has more approval, that means you can't have any?
You are not the only dark skinned woman in the world. So the if rest of us live in the same environment and most of us manage not to be miserable and still date... what is the reason YOU can't? The media? We all see the same media. Your observations? So you know of NO chocolate ladies who are happy? You never see dark women with a partner? Or do you not see enough for your liking?
If there are dark women with african features who date, doesn't that mean that it can't JUST be about being dark and having african features? Maybe something else is going on with you? Maybe you are focused on the wrong thing(s)?
What does it matter if someone has MORE attention? You can get your own attention. Do you want to marry everyone or just one person? Why are you competing?
Get out of your own head. See a professional to help you get there.
The point is that I will never have as much approval as lightskinned/mixed/white/etc women EVER. It won't happen unless I find a way to become lighter.
Do I see other darkskinned women in my environment who are happy? Not really. Every darkskinned woman I have known complained about the same things that I did. They would talk about how dark we were, and how much of a burden it was. All these happy and confident darkskinned Black women do not exist in my world. Most of the black women I see who get a lot of validation, and attention are typically light/mixed women. If they have light eyes or wavy hair, everyone knows who they are, and they are described as being "pretty" by others.
Just because you know darkskin women that have boyfriends doesn't mean they are the ideal, nor have as much value in society as light/white women. They have a man, so what??? Lighterskinned women still have a much higher social standing in and outside the black community. Lighter skin is still seen as more attractive, lighter eyes is still seen as more beautiful and unique than brown eyes...
the photo of the woman you posted is still not the ideal and if you were to do a poll between her and beyonce or halle berry MOST would choose Halle or beyonce as more attractive.
I will ask again. Do you need to date more than 1 man? In a majority Caucasian society lighter skin women are going to be in demand. If you go to Asia you will find Asians in demand. If you go to England or France you will find that darker skin women are actually in high demand due to their rarity and different race relations than the USA.
I've dated practically every race under the sun and would take a dark skin woman that treated me right before any lighter skin woman... Most of my gf's have been blonde & blue eyed so it's not like I don't still have the option of dating women with lighter skin and lighter eyes and yet my gf is black.
Just because you know [b]darkskin women that have boyfriends doesn't mean they are the ideal, nor have as much value in society as light/white women. [/B]They have a man, so what??? Lighterskinned women still have a much higher social standing in and outside the black community. Lighter skin is still seen as more attractive, lighter eyes is still seen as more beautiful and unique than brown eyes...
the photo of the woman you posted is still not the ideal and if you were to do a poll between her and beyonce or halle berry MOST would choose Halle or beyonce as more attractive.
Do you want a boyfriend or do you want to be the ideal woman? You're wasting your time on a crusade to make the "black community" view what you think is right and appropriate as the beauty standard.
Purple rage - your comments are an insult to every dark skinned person on this planet. Quit taking your own emotional issues out on everyone else.
Time for the ignore option, I do believe.
Why do you think I'm so depressed? It sucks being a darkskinned black woman, I'm always overshadowed by lighterskinned women. It will never change. If there is a lightskinned black woman with light eyes and good hair EVERYONE knows who she is, it becomes a huge deal. Whites and blacks are nicer to them. I hate my skin tone and I would do anything in this world to change it.
Quote:
I will ask again. Do you need to date more than 1 man? In a majority Caucasian society lighter skin women are going to be in demand. If you go to Asia you will find Asians in demand. If you go to England or France you will find that darker skin women are actually in high demand due to their rarity and different race relations than the USA.
I've dated practically every race under the sun and would take a dark skin woman that treated me right before any lighter skin woman... Most of my gf's have been blonde & blue eyed so it's not like I don't still have the option of dating women with lighter skin and lighter eyes and yet my gf is black.
Dating a white man is not going to make me the ideal, it's not going to give me the privilege that lightskin has. I'll still be darkskinned and unremarkable in every single way
Quote:
Do you want a boyfriend or do you want to be the ideal woman? You're wasting your time on a crusade to make the "black community" view what you think is right and appropriate as the beauty standard.
I want to be the ideal. I want the same appreciation, and social status as lightskinned women.
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