Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
There is a stigma attached to being a fat woman, regardless of race... To a certain extent I can understand that, looking good is important in various ways, and being fat usually means not looking good.
"Which is why I love being in the US –- there’s foundation that matches my skin, I see Indian, Chinese and African-American people on TV and I don’t feel like people are constantly judging me based on the color of my skin."
Damn. The US ain't that racist then tho some people WILL say I'm full of it.
It does. Rick Ross and lil Wayne spoke about it in their songs.
They don't like dark skinned girls.
My sister who works for Tsa told me that the men are always talking about dark girls negatively.
I just don't think Nyanna made this up.
She is wrong on one thing,that men only go for dark skinned girls with huge butts or breasts.
I usually see them go for the skinny ones.
There seems to be a stigma attached to being a fat black woman.
Newsflash!! Rick Ross and Lil Wayne are irrelevant...except to the braindead and uninformed. So stop using them as examples of what Black men want because its like saying that Marilyn Manson's opinion is the barometer for what all White people find attractive.
Yes, indeed. Ask yourself what your goal in life is. Do you want to waste it trying to change what you think can't be changed anyway? Or are you happy finding yourself one good man regardless of his race?
She's already answered that question. She's not satisfied with that.
I'll try to explain it in terms you might understand better. So you know how, for white men in America anyway, the top of the food chain woman is probably young, tall, big breasted, leggy, long hair, a size 0-2, and probably blonde and blue eyed? And if you run in high status circles, that's the kind of girl that will get the most attention. A girl who looks like a cast member on The Bachelor or something. Those are potential trophy wives. Those are the women saturating the media as the ideal.
Now most white women don't look like that. But they can attract men anyway, especially if they are not necessarily trying to land a guy driving a 40,000 Benz. And most people are fine about that. But if a woman wants more... desires the status and what not from being in that high target group... well there is a beauty and fitness industry devoted to helping her transform herself into a swimsuit model. She can even buy the breasts she wants.
For black women, being a light skinned woman with long hair is the rough equivalent of being a skinny big breasted blonde for white women. Of course there are deeper power and race dynamics involved, but for the sake of this discussion we will leave all that out. Black women who are not that high status ideal can and do date, as a lot of men are not necssarily buying into the black "ideal", just like a lot of white men don't really want only size 2s with big boobies. However, if you want to run with the "ballers and shot callers" it's probably better to be light and tossing around your "good" hair. LOL. And of course there will be a lot of men bad mouthing anything not the ideal much in the same way anything bigger than a size 6 gets bad mouthed by lots of white men.
This heffa's problem is that she desires to be high status and she resents she can't be. Unlike white women who can buy their way into the "right" look, There is no skin lightener for us. All you can do is go on a diet and straighten your hair or buy a weave. Maybe you can get some plastic surgery on your features. But your skin tone stays the same.
What everyone else is telling her is that so what, there are plenty of perfectly good black guys - with jobs and nice looks and home training LOL - that happily date non light skinned women especially if she is attractive and has something going on for herself. But it doesn't matter to her because she can't have what she wants.... which is high status. She wants not just to get attention, she want top of the line attention and she wont get it. And she hates herself and the world over it. And there is nothing any of us can do about it. This is totally her problem with herself and her own competitiveness and insecurities.
Newsflash!! Rick Ross and Lil Wayne are irrelevant...except to the braindead and uninformed. So stop using them as examples of what Black men want because its like saying that Marilyn Manson's opinion is the barometer for what all White people find attractive.
Uh, yeah.
I don't know how this convo steered into what entertainers want, do or date. Their habits shouldn't be used as a barometer for what is the norm. Celebrities do not live in reality.
Not only that but I think some people (on this forum) need not concern themselves so much in what celebrities do and what they see on TV and magazines.
She's already answered that question. She's not satisfied with that.
I'll try to explain it in terms you might understand better. So you know how, for white men in America anyway, the top of the food chain woman is probably young, tall, big breasted, leggy, long hair, a size 0-2, and probably blonde and blue eyed? And if you run in high status circles, that's the kind of girl that will get the most attention. A girl who looks like a cast member on The Bachelor or something. Those are potential trophy wives. Those are the women saturating the media as the ideal.
Now most white women don't look like that. But they can attract men anyway, especially if they are not necessarily trying to land a guy driving a 40,000 Benz. And most people are fine about that. But if a woman wants more... desires the status and what not from being in that high target group... well there is a beauty and fitness industry devoted to helping her transform herself into a swimsuit model. She can even buy the breasts she wants.
For black women, being a light skinned woman with long hair is the rough equivalent of being a skinny big breasted blonde for white women. Of course there are deeper power and race dynamics involved, but for the sake of this discussion we will leave all that out. Black women who are not that high status ideal can and do date, as a lot of men are not necssarily buying into the black "ideal", just like a lot of white men don't really want only size 2s with big boobies. However, if you want to run with the "ballers and shot callers" it's probably better to be light and tossing around your "good" hair. LOL. And of course there will be a lot of men bad mouthing anything not the ideal much in the same way anything bigger than a size 6 gets bad mouthed by lots of white men.
This heffa's problem is that she desires to be high status and she resents she can't be. Unlike white women who can buy their way into the "right" look, There is no skin lightener for us. All you can do is go on a diet and straighten your hair or buy a weave. Maybe you can get some plastic surgery on your features. But your skin tone stays the same.
What everyone else is telling her is that so what, there are plenty of perfectly good black guys - with jobs and nice looks and home training LOL - that happily date non light skinned women especially if she is attractive and has something going on for herself. But it doesn't matter to her because she can't have what she wants.... which is high status. She wants not just to get attention, she want top of the line attention and she wont get it. And she hates herself and the world over it. And there is nothing any of us can do about it. This is totally her problem with herself and her own competitiveness and insecurities.
I think this sums it up perfectly!
And so there is nothing that can be done for or said to the OP. There is no use for advice as it falls on deaf ears. None of us have the wizardry to solve her unsolveable problem.
She's already answered that question. She's not satisfied with that.
I'll try to explain it in terms you might understand better. So you know how, for white men in America anyway, the top of the food chain woman is probably young, tall, big breasted, leggy, long hair, a size 0-2, and probably blonde and blue eyed? And if you run in high status circles, that's the kind of girl that will get the most attention. A girl who looks like a cast member on The Bachelor or something. Those are potential trophy wives.
Now most white women don't look like that. But they can attract men anyway, especially if they are not necessarily trying to land a guy driving a 40,000 Benz. And most people are fine about that. But if a woman wants more... desires the status and what not from being in that high target group... well there is a beauty and fitness industry devoted to helping her transform herself into a swimsuit model. She can even buy the breasts she wants.
For black women, being a light skinned woman with long hair is the rough equivalent of being a skinny big breasted blonde for white women. Of course there are deeper power and race dynamics involved, but for the sake of this discussion we will leave all that out. Black women who are not that high status ideal can and do date, as a lot of men are not necssarily buying into the black "ideal", just like a lot of white men don't really want only size 2s with big boobies. However, if you want to run with the "ballers and shot callers" it's probably better to be light and tossing around your "good" hair. LOL. And of course there will be a lot of men bad mouthing anything not the ideal much in the same way anything bigger than a size 6 gets bad mouthed by lots of white men.
This heffa's problem is that she desires to be high status and she resents she can't be. Unlike white women who can buy their way into the "right" look, There is no skin lightener for us. All you can do is go on a diet and straighten your hair or buy a weave. Maybe you can get some plastic surgery on your features. But your skin tone stays the same.
What everyone else is telling her is that so what, there are plenty of perfectly good black guys - with jobs and nice looks and home training LOL - that happily date non light skinned women especially if she is attractive and has something going on for herself. But it doesn't matter to her because she can't have what she wants.... which is high status. She wants not just to get attention, she want top of the line attention and she wont get it. And she hates herself and the world over it. And there is nothing any of us can do about it. This is totally her problem with herself and her own competitiveness and insecurities.
100% to all of this
And also, the "ballers and shot callers" are usually products of the ghetto and typically maintain that ghetto and uneducated mentality regarding trophies and status regardless of how much money they make. There is a great deal of instability in the romantic relationships of these rappers and $40 million dollar slaves (aka athletes) and women who chase after these types of men or seek their approval tend to be lower level thinkers.
I am not so sure it is about her status. If she dislikes her looks so much, she might still feel the same way even if she were a millionaire with an Ivy-League degree...
But what you write about society in general sounds terrible. Maybe it is particularly bad in the US.
I am happy, though, that I have always been rather immune to that whole status and class crap. I don't care if a woman works at McDonald's or a research institute. I try to keep away from wealthy people, they are the worst people I have ever come across. Bad company, just like ghetto people, just from the other side of the spectrum so to speak
And also, the "ballers and shot callers" are usually products of the ghetto and typically maintain that ghetto and uneducated mentality regarding trophies and status regardless of how much money they make. There is a great deal of instability in the romantic relationships of these rappers and $40 million dollar slaves (aka athletes) and women who chase after these types of men or seek their approval tend to be lower level thinkers.
Exactly!!!
Interestingly enough (and slightly off-topic), I watched a special on Netflix just last night that spoke about how the vast majority of athletes, like the ones Calipoppy referenced, will be bankrupt within only a few years after retirement. Just shows how you can take the kid out of the ghetto but you can't take the ghetto out of the kid.
I am not so sure it is about her status. If she dislikes her looks so much, she might still feel the same way even if she were a millionaire with an Ivy-League degree...
I think you're still missing the mark a bit.
I don't think this is a money/status issue, but a beauty/status issue.
The OP wants the admiration that comes from falling within the the beauty ideals she observes.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
