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Old 05-05-2013, 08:51 PM
 
Location: Maryland
18,614 posts, read 16,380,336 times
Reputation: 6343

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Quote:
Originally Posted by lycos679 View Post
Why don't we shame women that sleep with criminals or drug dealers? Why don't we shame women that get pregnant knowing the father won't be around? Why don't we shame women that get pregnant on purpose when they don't have a job? Why don't we shame women that sleep with poor men? If a man has a job he is paying child support either by choice or by force. 3 months without payment is going to result in suspended driver/occupational license, passport, and a stay in jail. However, that doesn't mean the mom won't be sucking on the state.

Women have the sole choice in deciding to become pregnant. Personally (from a dating perspective), I don't even like single mothers. The way I look at it is "I didn't F up my life, so don't come crawling to me because you did." I could care less if we were just talking about 40 yr old women, but 18 yr olds with kids?? No thanks!
I don't see a 40 year old woman with a child as messing up her life. It's actually pretty normal folks do get divorced, spouses die.
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Old 05-05-2013, 08:53 PM
 
Location: NC
10,005 posts, read 8,993,200 times
Reputation: 3073
Quote:
Originally Posted by lycos679;29437976[B
]Why don't we shame women that sleep with criminals or drug dealers? Why don't we shame women that get pregnant knowing the father won't be around?[/b] Why don't we shame women that get pregnant on purpose when they don't have a job? Why don't we shame women that sleep with poor men? If a man has a job he is paying child support either by choice or by force. 3 months without payment is going to result in suspended driver/occupational license, passport, and a stay in jail. However, that doesn't mean the mom won't be sucking on the state.

Women have the sole choice in deciding to become pregnant. Personally (from a dating perspective), I don't even like single mothers. The way I look at it is "I didn't F up my life, so don't come crawling to me because you did." I could care less if we were just talking about 40 yr old women, but 18 yr olds with kids?? No thanks!
We kind of do. Furthermore regardless folks are going to ****. The issue is dealing with the consequences afterwords.

Additionally women cannot get pregnant by themselves. I think both the man and the woman bear equal responsibility. The issue is getting the man to stick around such that we don't have studs running around creating six figure welfare liabilities.

With that said I am in 100% agreement with the red part.
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Old 05-05-2013, 08:54 PM
 
Location: Maryland
18,614 posts, read 16,380,336 times
Reputation: 6343
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randomstudent View Post
Before feminism and female sexuality it was worse. This was because it was even more one sided in that men were event more encouraged to try and get as much sex as possible and women were viewed as sluts and bore all the blame if they gave in.
This point is just silly and doesn't address the topics the OP is highlighting. Worse how? I suspect men and women were just as sexually aroused before the sexual revolution as they are now. Except their rules to the game.

It is estimated that up to a 1/3 of the marriages before the 60s came about because of an unplanned pregnancy out of wedlock. Shotgun weddings were very real.
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Old 05-05-2013, 08:54 PM
 
11,780 posts, read 8,562,986 times
Reputation: 3425
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdwardA View Post
I don't see a 40 year old woman with a child as messing up her life. It's actually pretty normal folks do get divorced, spouses die.
That's why I distinguished between 18 yr olds and 40 yr olds. I don't care about 40 yr old women.
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Old 05-05-2013, 08:54 PM
 
6,691 posts, read 6,561,235 times
Reputation: 2381
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randomstudent View Post
We kind of do. Furthermore regardless folks are going to ****. The issue is dealing with the consequences afterwords.

Additionally women cannot get pregnant by themselves. I think both the man and the woman bear equal responsibility. The issue is getting the man to stick around such that we don't have studs running around creating six figure welfare liabilities.

With that said I am in 100% agreement with the red part.
American women go after "studs". This is the culture.
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Old 05-05-2013, 08:55 PM
 
Location: NC
10,005 posts, read 8,993,200 times
Reputation: 3073
Quote:
Originally Posted by NJBest View Post
It's not just the Northeast. But, now we're getting somewhere. Discussing the root of the problem.
Well if you look at your map. The south is pretty clearly the problem area. The reason for that is 2 fold.

1. They resisted capitalism much longer then the Midwest, West, and Northeast.
2. Segregation created an underclass.

Basically the south is playing catch up for the 19th century.
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Old 05-05-2013, 08:56 PM
 
Location: Maryland
18,614 posts, read 16,380,336 times
Reputation: 6343
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randomstudent View Post
We kind of do. Furthermore regardless folks are going to ****. The issue is dealing with the consequences afterwords.

Additionally women cannot get pregnant by themselves. I think both the man and the woman bear equal responsibility. The issue is getting the man to stick around such that we don't have studs running around creating six figure welfare liabilities.

With that said I am in 100% agreement with the red part.
What you think is one thing, the realities of biology are entirely another. Most people throughout the ages recognized this very salient fact. Women carry babies and thus if they are not wed the responsibility to raise the child will fall upon her.

Unfortunately dreams and silliness crept in the 60s and things became worse.
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Old 05-05-2013, 08:56 PM
 
Location: My beloved Bluegrass
14,651 posts, read 10,552,521 times
Reputation: 19791
Quote:
Originally Posted by NJBest View Post
The solution is not to blindly go after single parents. We need to understand why states like NC are so messed up that 26% of children there are living in poverty while states like NH, only 12% are living in poverty. If (big if) it's because NC has more births out of wedlock/relationship... why is that the case?

Children in poverty - Data Across States - KIDS COUNT Data Center
Probably because it is tied to the overall poverty rate of the state



Legend: (from light to dark)
<6%
6%-7.5%
7.5%-9%
9%-10.5%
10.5%-12%
12%-13.5%
13.5%-15%
15%-16.5%
>16.5%


New Hampshire has the lowest overall poverty rate in the nation, so it should have the lowest rate for children too.
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Old 05-05-2013, 08:57 PM
 
Location: NC
10,005 posts, read 8,993,200 times
Reputation: 3073
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bettafish View Post
American women go after "studs". This is the culture.
Regrettably true. Part of the issue is that society tends to glorify tomcats.
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Old 05-05-2013, 08:59 PM
 
24,503 posts, read 35,328,194 times
Reputation: 12810
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bettafish View Post
American women go after "studs". This is the culture.
This is nonsense. Anyone who wants women can get them. Even women can get women.
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