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First of all, the two dated for a few years as it stated in the article. This wasn't a case of a one night stand taking naked photos. They were obviously a couple & she trusted him. Second, let's say you stupidly sent your girlfriend a couple naked photos. You broke up & she started posting those pictures of you on a continuous basis for four years. Would you simply look the other way & shrug it off? No, I highly doubt you would.
I don't think the idea here is that she should shrug it off. The guy is a jerk. She has a right to be hurt, disappointed, and angered. If she wants to pursue some kind of civil action against him, no problem. I doubt she would win, but anyone has a right to sue--and regardless of any legal standing, she certainly has an ethical right.
There are two problems I have with cases like this. Firstly, she is shirking her responsibility, in spite of the fact that there were numerous ways she could have prevented this from happening. The most obvious is, of course, not taking pornographic pictures of herself. Beyond that, she could have shot those pictures in a manner which physically or digitally obscured her face. She could have retained physical possession of the images, showing them to her boyfriend only when they were together. She chose to create these images, and she chose to transmit them over the internet.
Secondly, she is lobbying for the enactment of criminal laws--designed to punish someone with incarceration--to compensate for her poor decision making.
There are proposals working their way through the system that would make it a crime to be involved in "revenge porn". That's a great idea but, like forever, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
I can only imagine what sort of quality women her ex-bf will attract since his name is tied to doing garbage like this to a gal. Not to mention if employers search on his name etc etc.
My guess is that he probably already regrets what he did, not out of real remorse but because it's going to hurt him far more than it ever hurt her.
I don't think the idea here is that she should shrug it off. The guy is a jerk. She has a right to be hurt, disappointed, and angered. If she wants to pursue some kind of civil action against him, no problem. I doubt she would win, but anyone has a right to sue--and regardless of any legal standing, she certainly has an ethical right.
There are two problems I have with cases like this. Firstly, she is shirking her responsibility, in spite of the fact that there were numerous ways she could have prevented this from happening. The most obvious is, of course, not taking pornographic pictures of herself. Beyond that, she could have shot those pictures in a manner which physically or digitally obscured her face. She could have retained physical possession of the images, showing them to her boyfriend only when they were together. She chose to create these images, and she chose to transmit them over the internet.
Secondly, she is lobbying for the enactment of criminal laws--designed to punish someone with incarceration--to compensate for her poor decision making.
I'm a bit torn on this. On one hand, I certainlty sympathize with the distress this woman is going through and the inexcuseable invasion of privacy. OTOH, how stupid was she to take and distribute such photos to begin with?
I feel sympathy for her.
I still can't help but remember that SHE was willing to take them and have them. With someone other than a husband.
The naivete or whatever you want to call it, however, is just plain... appalling.
She should ask a Mob enforcer to teach this jerk a lesson he will never forget. I know a guy that would do it for free.
No, what she "should" do is accept that she created the situation to begin with (not excusing his part, but...). And another thing she "should" do is learn from this experience and not do it again.
Hopefully, other women will take notice of this story and make better decisions than she did, seeing what such actions can lead to. But enough won't that we'll occasionally be reading similar stories in the future.
"Mob enforcer"... that's funny! You watch a lot of TV, eh?
She should not take nude photos & send them, I agree. However, he's despicable for doing that & he is the one to blame.
I think both of them hold some of the blame. Even if let's say, he DIDN'T post the pics, computers get stolen, hacked, etc. Once you have taken the photo and sent it through the internet, that's it.
I talk to people every day who's computers have been infected. I also talk to people now and then who ask me how do they protect themselves because their computer was stolen
Never have you browser save names/passwords. Never leave anything unencrypted/available to ANYONE using the computer, encrypt private directories with a password. Ensure your login to the computer requires a password. Never duplicate a password.
In this case, yes, she is the victim, and yes, he was wrong. Let's say that instead of the internet, she took polaroids. Let's say he left them in a drawer, and the house got robbed. Now what? Let's say he made copies of the polaroids somehow and gave them away to friends for revenge. They made copies, and when he gets the original pictures back because he realizes his mistake, they post the copies all around town. The bottom line is, had she not taken them in the FIRST place, we would not be having this discussion.
Yes, I know they were in a relationship, yadda yadda yadda ad nauseam,. I remember being in a relationship and going to sea for a 6 month deployment. My girlfriend sent me head shot pictures, and the raciest picture was one of her in a bikini. (I still have that one somewhere). It IS possible to take pictures that are an eyeful, without getting X rated.
Just like a person who leaves their doors unlocked and come home to find everything gone, YES, they are the victim, but they contributed to the issue. Same with the person who left their car running at the 7/11, they just ran in the get a pack of smokes, and came out to find their car gone. Yes, they are the victim, but due to their own contributory negligence.
An ex husband doing it wouldn't make it any more ok.
No. Not at all. I know a gal whose ex husband put a video of her up on the net. In a small town, she was recognized, and the problem caused, well, doesn't take much imagination. Intimate partners can get far to trusting. Sex pics and vids are NOT a good idea. Not in tbis age of information.
I don't care how much one trusts their intimate partner, things happen. People are vicious. Simple blabbermouthing can be bad enough. Pics and vids? Oh my!!!
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Both to be blamed.
