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I met her and banged her during the second week of April. She told me she slept with one other guy the following week however she used a condom, but she is saying the condom broke :/ I'm going to talk to her more, but I have a feeling I can convince her to keep the child, I just don't know if I want to convince her. That's basically what I'm struggling with right now.
Assuming this is the woman you met and had sex with the first day, following your roommate's lead, I realize what's done is done but what on earth would possess you to have unprotected sex?? How can you be that cavalier with your life and health?
Regardless, doesn't even sound like she knows who the father is, so count yourself lucky that she's not looking to chain you to her for the rest of your lives after having known her one month.
HARDEST but best (and courageous) CHOICE for you THREE...(and certainly not the most popular)...
A-D-O-P-T-I-O-N!
And before I get pummeled by the peanut gallery, YES pickle is intimately familiar with all aspects of adoption. That is why I can recommend and suggest it.
It's her decision. I'm sure others will cry about how "unfair" that is for you, buy you cannot force her to carry a pregnancy to term. Biology dictates that she gets final say on this one.
I met a girl online last month. We hit it off and had sex. I saw her a couple other times, but today she just informed me she's pregnant and since we don't know each other too much, she's getting an abortion. I don't like the idea at all, but I don't know if I'm ready to take on that responsibility. Since its less than 4 weeks that means what's inside her can't feel pain, right? What should I do? Need help.
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Originally Posted by DrPeter
I'm going to talk to her more, but I have a feeling I can convince her to keep the child, I just don't know if I want to convince her. That's basically what I'm struggling with right now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DrPeter
She still lives with her parents. I have a feeling all I need to do is tell her I will be there and commit to her and we can get our own place, yada, yada yada. I just don't know if I want to commit to that yet.
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Originally Posted by DrPeter
However I feel if I don't make that choice it will result in her getting an abortion What should I do?
Oh good freakin Lord. Why would you convience her to go thru with a pregnancy she dosent want and you dont want. Why would you want her to become a single mother to a fatherless child.
Can I use your posts for responses to threads filled with men whining about how women should not have all the say in determining if they carry to term or abort and whining about having to pay 18 years of child support?
I understand you are both in a bad situation and a decision has to be made. Please proceed with honesty and having educated yourselves with all options and the responsibilities that go along with them.
I met a girl online last month. We hit it off and had sex. I saw her a couple other times, but today she just informed me she's pregnant and since we don't know each other too much, she's getting an abortion. I don't like the idea at all, but I don't know if I'm ready to take on that responsibility. Since its less than 4 weeks that means what's inside her can't feel pain, right? What should I do? Need help.
Right now there is really nothing you can do, because at the end is her choice.
Next time, make sure you use contraception. You are both responsible for the pregnancy. Condoms and other devices would have prevented this situation. Think before you hit next time.
She was not on birth control and I didn't use a condom. She comes from a very wealthy family and still lives with her parents. I have a feeling all I need to do is tell her I will be there and commit to her and we can get our own place, yada, yada yada. I just don't know if I want to commit to that yet.
However I feel if I don't make that choice it will result in her getting an abortion and I will be at fault. I'm torn, I could brush this off knowing the pregnancy can get terminated early due to the fact it won't feel pain. However I don't want to have any regrets 5 years from now. What should I do?
I am not intentionally being harsh. But my message is pretty harsh. Grown up is what you should do. You have no business raising a child. You ARE a child. I don't care how old you are. In this day and age, you cannot even claim ignorance about birth control. My 9 year old knows about it. It is a sorry state of affairs. But it is a little too late to be concerned about the pain in the 4 week old fetus. Cut your losses and take this as an opportunity to learn and grow.
And, statistically, he doesn't and won't be involved in the future.
Even if he says he wants to be involved now, 6 months from now I'd be willing to be a large sum of money he'll bail.
I've seen this quite a few times... early in the relationship she gets pregnant, he swears he'll stick with her and then disappears when it gets hard and he realizes he really doesn't know this woman all that well.
Yep, she would be a fool to have a baby she doesn't want based on promises from a guy she barely knows. No point in making a bad situation worse. They played with fire and got burned...learn from this mistake.
RU486 is very effective if used at this point of pregnancy.
While you have the right to tell her your feelings, the woman always has (and should have) the final say on abortion.
No, you shouldn't have the right because it means absolutely nothing in the end. So in reality you don't have the right. She can easily not care and tell you to shut up. Guess what you would have to do then......
HARDEST but best (and courageous) CHOICE for you THREE...(and certainly not the most popular)...
A-D-O-P-T-I-O-N!
And before I get pummeled by the peanut gallery, YES pickle is intimately familiar with all aspects of adoption. That is why I can recommend and suggest it.
This is a fantastic idea, and one the OP should suggest. But he is not the final decision maker, after all.
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