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You made a very important point by saying "No matter how much you change society you can not change our instincts.". On the surface, the fact that women are making more money and succeding in their careers is a very positive thing, but we all have to remember that a mans role as a provider is instinctual.
Is there ANY scientific evidence at all to support this?
Videogames is just one example of many things these guys will tune out to. I get the feeling these couples were gungho about having kids but when the real parenting work started, he's overwhelmed and she gets left with all the work. If she can afford to leave and support herself, why keep a man that is another person she has to take care of like an extra child?
Babies aren't a problem if you walk in with realistic expectations. I think media paints a rosy picture and too many people really don't have a clue what they're agreeing to.
This is not a gender gap issue. That is an issue of this person failing to set effective limits. She SHOULDN'T be taking care of "another child". And if she is doing that, then she has a Big Problem.
The operative cliche here is: If you want to do something right, do it yourself. If a woman wants to leave the housekeeping up to the man, she has no room to complain when it isn't up to her standards.
Feminist female here: I second, third and fourth this.
While my mother was not the breadwinner, she worked 70 hr weeks and made/makes over 150k a year. She still believes it is her job as a wife/mother/women to clean the house, do the laundry, make dinner etc. She also helps care for my father's elderly father who lives with my parents. She thinks it is her responsibility to make sure he is well cared for. All while working 6 12hr night shifts a week.
I wouldn't consider her a feminist by any means.
No offense, I would consider her crazy. Why did your father not help?
No offense, I would consider her crazy. Why did your father not help?
He works even more hours than she does. When he was/is home he was/is the one who did all of the house and car maintenance. He was also the one who did the primary care for us as children. Since my mother was never home when we got home from school.
You know what, it should be pretty obvious in this day and age that they are agreeing to being partners. No woman agrees to take on the role of a grown man's mother. If he's that stupid he deserves to be humiliated and emasculated.
Why does he deserve that any more than the woman does for choosing him?
People often underestimate the labor involved in having children. Once the children are here it's too late. Early on in the marriage the woman may not mind doing all the housework or opt out because there won't be much with two people in the home. Have a few kids and the work-load multiplies exponentially. If the terms of the marriage are not re-negotiated one party will build resentment which leads to marital discord. I guess it's flightiness or inflexibility depending on your view-point.
You are correct when you write about childless marriages. In that case you can pretty much live and let live and since both people are grown-ups it will work out.
He works even more hours than she does. When he was home he was/is the one who did all of the house and car maintenance. He was also the one who did the primary care for us as children. Since my mother was never home when we got home from school.
I don't think anyone would consider that inequitable. It seems weird that you would use this as an example of anything. There was work to be done. They both did it.
I don't think anyone would consider that inequitable. It seems weird that you would use this as an example of anything. There was work to be done. They both did it.
I never mentioned anything about inequality here.
I stated my mother worked 70 hour weeks and made 150k but she was not a feminist and still believed in somewhat normal gender roles. I said it can be both ways.
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