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Old 06-05-2013, 04:28 PM
 
410 posts, read 513,828 times
Reputation: 248

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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
Just how would the courts determine what each deserved? How would they determine any contribution other than actual earned income? If one paid the mortgage but the other maintained the home (repairs, cleaning, decorating, seeing the utilities were paid etc.) One paid for the groceries but the other purchased them and cooked them. One earned the money, but the other managed it? What if the earner was abusive physically or emotionally, an alcoholic, gambler, adulterer, what if they stank and had bad hygiene or a host of awful personal flaws.

If within the first 6 months to a year of marriage I saw my spouse unwilling to contribute financially or in a supportive role that made my life better and enabled me to better suceed in my career or he displayed the above I would divorce then. Most people do not accumulate much in that amount of time. So if you accept that situation for 10, 15, 20 years then yeah 50/50 seem fair.
Who gives a rats a$$ how much cooking and cleaning and raising of the baby a person does. If you don't earn a cent of your own to contribute to a " marriage", you shouldn't give the freeloading mooch a cent of what he earns.
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Old 06-05-2013, 04:29 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,667 posts, read 34,184,451 times
Reputation: 76780
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serena Sattar View Post
Who gives a rats a$$ how much cooking and cleaning and raising of the baby a person does. If you don't earn a cent of your own to contribute to a " marriage", you shouldn't give the freeloading mooch a cent of what he earns.
So you're saying the only thing of value that one brings to a marriage is financial? Spouses can do many things in a marriage that can't be quantified.
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Old 06-05-2013, 04:35 PM
 
Location: Toronto
2,159 posts, read 2,804,168 times
Reputation: 1158
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serena Sattar View Post
Who gives a rats a$$ how much cooking and cleaning and raising of the baby a person does. If you don't earn a cent of your own to contribute to a " marriage", you shouldn't give the freeloading mooch a cent of what he earns.
So the 5 years of our ten year marriage that I was the bread winner don't count as a contribution because I'm a sahm now? Or that it's cheaper for me to stay home with 3 kids than it is for me to work between taxes, daycare and commute? Or that the time that I have been home, I have made sure my husband's shirts have been ironed, his food is healthy and held work related dinners in our home and put in a lot of leg work towards his career... they don't count? BS You don't know what the hell you're talking about. When I was working outside the home and when I've been at home, earning money or not, I've contributed a significant amount to this marriage. I'm lucky my husband doesn't see things the way you do, huh?
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Old 06-05-2013, 05:19 PM
 
12,535 posts, read 15,164,162 times
Reputation: 29087
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serena Sattar View Post
Who gives a rats a$$ how much cooking and cleaning and raising of the baby a person does. If you don't earn a cent of your own to contribute to a " marriage", you shouldn't give the freeloading mooch a cent of what he earns.

Clearly you've never been married.
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Old 06-05-2013, 05:20 PM
 
13,768 posts, read 38,098,102 times
Reputation: 10687
Quote:
Originally Posted by monemi View Post
The thing is, you never get to hear the other side of the story in these posts. I had a coworker with the most infuriating divorce story. I really felt for him. Then I found her side of the story a few years alter and we had all been jerked around by the guy. Now I take these stories with a pinch of salt.

Exactly.. That ole 'he said/she said' depends on who is saying it. If a woman gave up her career to stay home, keep up the house, raise the kids and the spouse wanted or was in agreement then that changes everything. She has lost many years in the employment area and will be unable to get a job making what she would/could have made if she had worked all those years. If she worked and contributed to financially then she does deserve half.

Does that apply to men of course it does.

I met a lady who was divorced and she bad mouthed her blankity blank husband and his new wife. Month later at a party I over heard a couple talking about his blankity blank wife. Yep.. their stories were so different it was amazing
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Old 06-05-2013, 05:36 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,386 posts, read 35,438,093 times
Reputation: 14692
Quote:
Originally Posted by lizardspock View Post
..in a divorce just for being there? If your husband/wife spent the entire marriage mooching off of you (no steady income, never had kids to raise, didn't do much around the house,etc), do they deserve anything? I say hell no.
They don't deserve it but they're entitled to it.

I can do you one better. I know a guy whose wife never would work. She SAH with the kids then insisted on home schooling to avoid work. Then she found someone else. Not only did she get half of everything but she got alimony too because the court felt sorry for the poor SAHM with no job skills as if he somehow did that do her.
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Old 06-05-2013, 05:37 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,386 posts, read 35,438,093 times
Reputation: 14692
Quote:
Originally Posted by Keeper View Post
Exactly.. That ole 'he said/she said' depends on who is saying it. If a woman gave up her career to stay home, keep up the house, raise the kids and the spouse wanted or was in agreement then that changes everything. She has lost many years in the employment area and will be unable to get a job making what she would/could have made if she had worked all those years. If she worked and contributed to financially then she does deserve half.

Does that apply to men of course it does.

I met a lady who was divorced and she bad mouthed her blankity blank husband and his new wife. Month later at a party I over heard a couple talking about his blankity blank wife. Yep.. their stories were so different it was amazing
I don't agree. His agreeing to let her SAH isn't reason he should owe her in a divorce. Why isn't having supported her all those years enough?
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Old 06-05-2013, 05:41 PM
 
Location: Toronto
2,159 posts, read 2,804,168 times
Reputation: 1158
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
They don't deserve it but they're entitled to it.

I can do you one better. I know a guy whose wife never would work. She SAH with the kids then insisted on home schooling to avoid work. Then she found someone else. Not only did she get half of everything but she got alimony too because the court felt sorry for the poor SAHM with no job skills as if he somehow did that do her.
What were the schools like in the area they lived? Didn't they discuss her sah? What would the before and after school set them back by? There are a freaking lot of variables and assumptions being made here.
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Old 06-05-2013, 05:42 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,386 posts, read 35,438,093 times
Reputation: 14692
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
Clearly you've never been married.
It really depends on WHY someone does what they do. Someone who SAH because their spouse has a high powered career and needs a SAHS is way different than someone who doesn't want his wife to SAH but she insists and they scrape by so she can SAH. In the first scenario, the SAHS is a contributor in that they make it possible for their spouse to maintain their high powered career. In the second scenario, they're a lazy mooch who jeopardizes the family's finances to have what they want. What they each deserve is quite different. What they'll get is half of the marital assets and alimony deserved or not.

My sister who was her ex's book keeper and secretary for many many years deserves her alimony even though she never worked outside of the home. The things she did meant her dh didn't have to hire someone to do them. She has as much of a stake in his business as he does.
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Old 06-05-2013, 05:42 PM
 
Location: Toronto
2,159 posts, read 2,804,168 times
Reputation: 1158
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
I don't agree. His agreeing to let her SAH isn't reason he should owe her in a divorce. Why isn't having supported her all those years enough?
If she hadn't been busy being the mother to his children and taking care of his home, she would have had an employment history and been able to support herself at time of separation. 'If this is his attitude, I can see why she divorced him.
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