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Old 06-13-2013, 01:19 PM
 
810 posts, read 1,446,671 times
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You're not allowed to say this but there are differences among cultures and people are free to make their choices.

I think that the people who are always yelling "Racist! Racist!" are confused.

 
Old 06-13-2013, 01:44 PM
 
Location: mainland but born oahu
6,657 posts, read 7,727,548 times
Reputation: 3137
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonorio View Post
You're not allowed to say this but there are differences among cultures and people are free to make their choices.

I think that the people who are always yelling "Racist! Racist!" are confused.
Yes ppl have a right to make choices, and i wont argue with that. But also ppl have a right to choose to speak out on something that is not ok with them, like racism. Tolerance and acceptance dosnt go one way. As for the op? I think she would agree that this thread isn't about the bloggers right to have choice. If the blog lady wants to be a racist? let her. But racism is not ok, is what op is saying right lily?
 
Old 06-13-2013, 01:54 PM
 
6,129 posts, read 6,791,829 times
Reputation: 10821
Quote:
Originally Posted by graceC View Post
I don't think it's self hate. As an Asian woman living in a western world, I think I understand where this self proclaim rasist is coming from. Asian culture is very different than western culture. We're much more socially conservative and a lot of Asian men (even those living in western countries) still have an antiquated view of what a woman should do or be. Those of you who come from the deep south of US will understand what I mean. And so, I can't blame this woman for wanting to do differently for herself. Not due to self hate but simply because she doesn't want to be part of that limited constraint in which she grew up anymore.

Obviously not all Asian men are like that, the more educated ones or the ones who have diverse circle of friends & upbringing are usually more liberated in their view. I married one 15 years ago.
But she's not saying that she only wants to date Asian men that don't adhere to old customs along with men of other races, she's saying any Asian man is off limits because he's Asian. White skin is better because it leads to acceptance from whites. She's not even saying she just finds white men more attractive (which would carry its own controversy) but she's just outright declaring any Asians culturally unacceptable and not high status enough. That includes your husband. He's not good enough. No Asian male is.

I don't know how that is not self hate really. How do declare everyone of your cultural/ethnic background unworthy? Is she the lone special snowflake? It's just strange. People like that just seem very messed up to me. I would not be able to deal with that.

And what does she do if she has a son? Teach him that everything "Asian" about him is not as good as everything "white" about him? Not want him to associate with too many Asians? Teach him his father's side is superior? Yikes.
 
Old 06-13-2013, 02:00 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
39,044 posts, read 27,462,475 times
Reputation: 15954
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinawina View Post
But she's not saying that she only wants to date Asian men that don't adhere to old customs along with men of other races, she's saying any Asian man is off limits because he's Asian. White skin is better because it leads to acceptance from whites. She's not even saying she just finds white men more attractive (which would carry its own controversy) but she's just outright declaring any Asians culturally unacceptable and not high status enough. That includes your husband. He's not good enough. No Asian male is.

I don't know how that is not self hate really. How do declare everyone of your cultural/ethnic background unworthy? Is she the lone special snowflake? It's just strange. People like that just seem very messed up to me. I would not be able to deal with that.

And what does she do if she has a son? Teach him that everything "Asian" about him is not as good as everything "white" about him? Not want him to associate with too many Asians? Teach him his father's side is superior? Yikes.
exactly!
 
Old 06-13-2013, 02:06 PM
 
4,739 posts, read 10,406,854 times
Reputation: 4186
lily - keep reading the blog and comments - the author is a 'performance artist' and the blog post was a performance (in other words it was written to evoke a response, not because the author is a 'self-hating racist', even though she plays one on the internet).
 
Old 06-13-2013, 02:26 PM
 
Location: Alaska
3,146 posts, read 4,082,057 times
Reputation: 5470
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981 View Post
"This trend has nothing to do with skin color. It has everything to do with patriarchy and cultural sexism and a lifestyle I grew up with and want nothing to do with anymore."

"I date white men because it feels like I'm not ostracizing myself into an Asian ghetto and antiquated ideas of Asian unity. I still see myself as a minority. And with that, pretty soon comes connotations of "outsider." And I don't like that."

"Dating white men means acceptance into American culture. White culture."

My questions to you are the following,

1. Will you date a self-proclaimed racist like her? Why or why not?

2. Can you be able to date a person who hates and disrespects her own culture and her own people? Why or why not?

3. Do you think American culture is a white culture? For a minority woman (or man), the only way to be accepted by American culture is to date white people?
I think the above statements reflect the OP's true feelings and motivations. Although, she self-describes herself as a racist, I don't believe that her reasons for not dating Asians are racist as much as they are classist. I think that she mistakenly believes that dating a white man will give her the "key to the kingdoms" regarding socio-economic acceptance and respectability in the mainstream (read: "white" or American) society (culture).

In answer to your questions:

1. No, I would not date her because a) I would question why she was really with me, and b) I think the young lady suffers from a significant level of self-loathing and self-hatred and could benefit from some degree of professional intervention (i.e. - therapy) to help her self-esteem.

2. No. Refer b) in the above answer.

3. I don't think American culture is a white culture but there is no denying that whites greatly, if not predominantly, influence the culture. Obviously, a minority man or woman does not have to date a white person to be accepted, as evidenced by the number of minorities who are embraced by American culture, yet they do not date anyone who is white.
 
Old 06-13-2013, 02:30 PM
 
6,129 posts, read 6,791,829 times
Reputation: 10821
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reactionary View Post
lily - keep reading the blog and comments - the author is a 'performance artist' and the blog post was a performance (in other words it was written to evoke a response, not because the author is a 'self-hating racist', even though she plays one on the internet).
Well that's good to know! LOL! Well played lady. Well played.
 
Old 06-13-2013, 02:52 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
39,044 posts, read 27,462,475 times
Reputation: 15954
Quote:
Originally Posted by phlinak View Post
I think the above statements reflect the OP's true feelings and motivations. Although, she self-describes herself as a racist, I don't believe that her reasons for not dating Asians are racist as much as they are classist. I think that she mistakenly believes that dating a white man will give her the "key to the kingdoms" regarding socio-economic acceptance and respectability in the mainstream (read: "white" or American) society (culture).

In answer to your questions:

1. No, I would not date her because a) I would question why she was really with me, and b) I think the young lady suffers from a significant level of self-loathing and self-hatred and could benefit from some degree of professional intervention (i.e. - therapy) to help her self-esteem.

2. No. Refer b) in the above answer.

3. I don't think American culture is a white culture but there is no denying that whites greatly, if not predominantly, influence the culture. Obviously, a minority man or woman does not have to date a white person to be accepted, as evidenced by the number of minorities who are embraced by American culture, yet they do not date anyone who is white.

I agree with you 100%
 
Old 06-13-2013, 03:02 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
39,044 posts, read 27,462,475 times
Reputation: 15954
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reactionary View Post
lily - keep reading the blog and comments - the author is a 'performance artist' and the blog post was a performance (in other words it was written to evoke a response, not because the author is a 'self-hating racist', even though she plays one on the internet).


I would have to read her blog again!
 
Old 06-13-2013, 03:37 PM
 
Location: In my skin
9,230 posts, read 16,517,749 times
Reputation: 9174
1. Will you date a self-proclaimed racist like her? Why or why not?

Maybe. I don't think it is racist or self loathing to want to step away from a culture and beliefs we don't agree with. We live in a society that cries foul all the time. Maybe that is her point in this posting?

She is excluding Asian men all together, and that seems excessive, but I can relate to a degree. I am Hispanic and prefer Caucasian men. Hispanic men are not completely out, but I will not seek them out. There are areas of our culture that I don't like or agree with and most are instantly displayed in the dating arena, reinforcing my aversion. I am not limited to Caucasian men either. "Lots and lots of (mostly, but not always) white guys" suggests she is also dating other types.

2. Can you be able to date a person who hates and disrespects her own culture and her own people? Why or why not?


If it is, in fact, a seething, racist type hatred, I couldn't.

3. Do you think American culture is a white culture? For a minority woman (or man), the only way to be accepted by American culture is to date white people?

I do not.
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