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Old 11-02-2006, 09:21 PM
 
Location: In exile, plotting my coup
2,408 posts, read 13,149,758 times
Reputation: 1784

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ScrantonWilkesBarre View Post
Here I am on my 20th birthday crying my eyes out because I'm already having a mid-life crisis---Do I make another girl miserable and make myself guilt-stricken just to please my family and the rest of the nation, or do I follow my heart and condemn myself to hell?
Live your life for you. You will be miserable if you resign yourself to living a lie. Follow your heart and ***** what everyone else thinks. You have a good head on your shoulders SWB but from your posts, seem really conflicted about your sexuality, among other issues. While I admire your dedication towards your hometown, I think it would do you good to experience life in a more open-minded area, even if just for a short time, where you can meet many other men who have gone through similar feelings as you, and where you'll come to realize that there are many straight people who will not judge you nor think you immoral.

There are always going to be people who disagree with the way you live your life. Just as there are people who will disagree with Bible thumpers, drug users, liberals, conservatives, Muslims, yuppies, or whatever. You can't please everyone and the sooner you realize that, the better. Just be truthful with yourself and let yourself be happy and don't worry so much about those who cast stones unto others.

 
Old 11-02-2006, 09:35 PM
 
Location: Polish Hill, Pittsburgh, PA
29,617 posts, read 65,648,793 times
Reputation: 15060
Quote:
Originally Posted by Areyouserious? View Post
Lol, are you insane?

There are FAR better things to cry about than just being gay.

1. George Bush has two more years in office. (woof, I had a chill)
2. Madonna is adopting MORE kids.
3. They want to put a fence up to keep the Mexicans out when they should be putting a fence around DC to keep the politicians IN.
4. Did you know that they use crushed beatle carcasses as coloring for some consumer food products?
5. Verizon STILL hasn't put FIOS in your area yet!
6. Marth Stewart is still out of jail. She's armed with crappy decorating ideas and she's on the loose.
7. Donald Trump's hair
8. "Player" is actually putting out a new CD.
9. Warren Buffet is giving away all his money, and you're not getting any.
10. They no longer show Honeymooners re-runs on late night tv
11. They DO show Seinfeld re-runs, over, and over, and over, and over again.
12. Winter is coming!

The list goes on. Being gay is not a crime. Granted I guess it can be a real pain in the *** (pun intended), but its not the end of the world. Look at it this way, I have to deal with a woman once a month that makes me consider forcing myself to be gay. You don't have that issue, and have no idea how lucky you truly, truly are.

Happy Birthday, and forget about what everybody else thinks.

Thanks for the laughs; it was a perfect capstone to an otherwise perfect birthday! By the way, I totally concur with #3. I just saw the film "Battle of Algiers", which covered the revolutionary conflict between Algeria and France during the 1950s. (I know---I'm 20 and taking notes on historical films instead of sleeping around and getting wasted like my peers! WOW!) In the film, the French military quarantined the Arab quarters of Algiers, only allowing inhabitants in or out of the zone after passing through strict checkpoints. I thought to myself "Why can't they do the same in Washington to track just where my tax dollars are going as they leave the city limits on armored trucks!?"
 
Old 11-02-2006, 09:38 PM
 
Location: Polish Hill, Pittsburgh, PA
29,617 posts, read 65,648,793 times
Reputation: 15060
Quote:
Originally Posted by kona View Post
Dam* Scranton. You need to get yourself to Los Angeles, stat. Start packing now and just go. Life is too short. Go live a little.
Naw...there's too much sun and happiness in L.A.; I prefer the incessant cloudiness and bitter people here in Scranton! God-willing, in time I'll become just like them, spiting the rest of the world just because I made mistakes in my life that I can't admit to! Seriously, I do have family in metro LA (Huntington Beach and Hemet), and I do plan to visit them in the upcoming years---Maybe a bit of unexpected sunshine will do me good?
 
Old 11-02-2006, 09:40 PM
 
Location: Polish Hill, Pittsburgh, PA
29,617 posts, read 65,648,793 times
Reputation: 15060
Quote:
Originally Posted by kona View Post
and happy birthday.

Thanks. I'm a bit saddened that nobody bought me Viagra, Depends, or a Buick LaCrosse for my birthday though! I'm even beginning to worry that I'll soon be mistaking my gas and brake pedals and plowing into crowds of unsuspecting tourists at the Wilkes-Barre farmers' market! Somebody buy me some oat bran! Ssshhhh...Bob Barker is on; he cracks me up, you whippersnappers!
 
Old 11-03-2006, 05:19 AM
 
Location: SF Bay Area, CA
201 posts, read 786,423 times
Reputation: 143
Well said. First thing you learn as you grow up, not grow "older" is that you can't please everyone all the time. And that you just have to choose a path that fits you the best despite what others may think and what your parents may want for you. As passe as it may sound, life is way TOO SHORT to be unhappy and trying to be something or someone you are not.

I agree with the others' advise about moving away and trying life in a different place. Even if you hated it, at least you now have another perspective. But I suspect you may like it a lot and then wonder why you did not make that choice to move sooner.

You are still very young and are in the midst of discovering your paths in life, not just your sexuality. You should go to a bigger city and meet lots of other people. They can teach and share so much about life with you and you in turn to them. And someday if after all that and you still wish to return to where you are, then go for it.



Quote:
Originally Posted by dullnboring View Post
Live your life for you. You will be miserable if you resign yourself to living a lie. Follow your heart and ***** what everyone else thinks. You have a good head on your shoulders SWB but from your posts, seem really conflicted about your sexuality, among other issues. While I admire your dedication towards your hometown, I think it would do you good to experience life in a more open-minded area, even if just for a short time, where you can meet many other men who have gone through similar feelings as you, and where you'll come to realize that there are many straight people who will not judge you nor think you immoral.

There are always going to be people who disagree with the way you live your life. Just as there are people who will disagree with Bible thumpers, drug users, liberals, conservatives, Muslims, yuppies, or whatever. You can't please everyone and the sooner you realize that, the better. Just be truthful with yourself and let yourself be happy and don't worry so much about those who cast stones unto others.
 
Old 11-03-2006, 08:05 AM
 
Location: Traverse City, MI
622 posts, read 2,500,968 times
Reputation: 337
I agree with all this advice, SWB! My journeys have brought me to new places, new cities, new cultures... and each journey wasn't neccessarily enjoyable. But, I learned alot. It really opened my eyes to new ideas and taught me how to be myself. Maybe this city's inhabitants are this way, and that city's inhabitants are that way... pretty soon you stop paying attention and just be yourself because you learn that its all cultrural relativism anyways. I feel that my travels and adventures have been the most important thing in making me who I am today. I shudder at the thought of who I would be today if I had stayed in the same place. So much I would never know! How limited my perspective would be!

I did come back to my home- in fact, all that moving around taught me to appreciate where I was from. And that's the thing- you can always come back. Pennsylvania is not going anywhere!

But of course, it is for you to decide. Coming from someone in their late 20's to someone in their early 20s: this time is all about exploring who you really are as an adult. So, a lot of it is going to feel mixed up and full of wrong turns/decisions. You are asking the right questions, and that is whats important. You will find the answers eventually, in whatever you do. But only if you be true to yourself and follow your heart. If you choose not to explore these questions, if you choose to the safe path that avoids confrontation and pain, if you choose to pretend to be something you're not, you will learn nothing. You will end up having a crisis at 30 or 40. So be thankful that you are having this crisis now. Because it means you are mature.

Here is my metaphor for the day:

I am a terrible snowboarder. I try to learn, but I am so afraid of falling and hurting myself that I go slow and don't experiment much. Therefore, I never learn. The people who are great snowboarders, I've noticed, are those who have no fear. This is sort of what your 20's are all about, IMO. I hope this makes sense.

Follow your heart.

Last edited by mariatherese; 11-03-2006 at 08:16 AM..
 
Old 11-03-2006, 06:31 PM
 
3,020 posts, read 23,071,980 times
Reputation: 2686
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScrantonWilkesBarre View Post
to subject themselves to a life of being viewed by many fellow Americans as being "inferior", "unclean", and "morally reprehensible?"


but I've found it impossible to become attracted to women, even with counseling! What makes you Republicans so sure that changing one's sexual orientation is as simple as changing the batteries in

Here I am on my 20th birthday crying my eyes out because I'm already having a mid-life crisis---Do I make another girl miserable and make myself guilt-stricken just to please my family and the rest of the nation, or do I follow my heart and condemn myself to hell?
ScrantonWilkesBarre

Ok, dude, if you read any of my posts on this matter, you basically know I do not like gays living next to me. In general I dislike gays in all close social situations.

That said, you seem like a decent human bean so, this bit of advice.

I can't figure out what your problem is.

Do you want some sort of SEX as the primary goal. Or is it Love or what??? Do you just want a super relationship, with Sex as you define it but with all the whistles and bells. Dude all men want that. Along with status, money, fun, more fun, support systems, comfort, fun, what do you really want????

I am totally heterosexual, have zero interest in gays (men and women) in just about any aspects of life, including social. Sorry, too many bad experiences.

But it is far more than that. Sex is about mostly nothing. Most relationships are 95% social in some regard and 5% sex in a longer term. Sex is also primarly a mental function more than a physical act, especially in males.

Your focus on the Sex Act is part of the problem. It is really about the social, interrational parts of it. Males and females go through those dances, sex is a game, sex is a weapon, sex is the spice. A lot about relationships that goes wrong is social in nature, not SEX. Sex is the minor part in most disputes. Money is far more important.

All this gay thing is presented as SEX. BS; zero of it is about SEX. It is mostly mental state of being. Any gay male could have sex with a female if he could get into the proper mental state. Afterall it is what we heterosexual males do. A lovely babe is the same, juicy is juicy, it is all in your mind.

The best women are not sexy. They have a mental hook. They understand the mental connection. You can be in love with an entirely unattractive women in society eyes. Physical beauty takes a woman only so far in any relationship.

You have to understand this SEX game far more like a heterosexual male would. What do you really want????

For example I am heterosexual, I hugely dislike female hookers. Sex as a commerical item, not what sex should be about in any arena. I never could ever get into that frame of mind.

Apparently you like the location you are in.

Apparently you have some some of support system and people that love you for whatever you are.

Go out and attract whatever you want as a relationship and bring it to you. I totally disagree with those comments about gays in big cities. I grew to hate those scums. Find those of your class and of your expecations. Is exactly what hetro males have to do.

I do not have anything in particular anti-gay. Afterall I only have to deal with it on a social level. They should present themselves in a manner that is acceptable beyond a certain range of issues.

I have read your posts. Seems to be in the main reasonable. I hope you can find some degree of happiness within an area you call home. Forget moving, import that not yet available. Hey hetros have done it for years.

Chow, bro.
 
Old 11-03-2006, 07:17 PM
 
Location: Glasgow,Scotland
148 posts, read 366,645 times
Reputation: 75
Post Scanton W B

happy birthday
......
 
Old 11-03-2006, 10:03 PM
 
Location: Polish Hill, Pittsburgh, PA
29,617 posts, read 65,648,793 times
Reputation: 15060
Quote:
Originally Posted by cahpsuth View Post
happy birthday
......

Thanks, you young whippersnapper! Now excuse me while I go mistake my gas pedal and my brake pedal in my Cadillac DeVille and mow down about a dozen schoolchildren crossing the street (while simply being given a slap on the wrist to boot!) LOL!
 
Old 11-03-2006, 10:50 PM
 
Location: Jersey
2,098 posts, read 5,782,902 times
Reputation: 938
I just came in here to poke around out of boredom and I'm so late into this conversation but I did read the last few posts. Wow...I can't believe there are that many people who "don't want to live near gays". I'm sorry but why?! I know plenty of women and men that are gay and there's nothing wrong with them. Why are they treated like a plague? Yeah, yeah, yeah AIDS. Big friggin' deal, heterosexual people and drug users catch AIDS. It's not like you can "catch" being gay from your next door neighbor or anything. I do find it hard to explain to my older kids when they ask why someone is gay because quite honestly I don't know if it's as simple as sexual preference or if it's genetics, etc. However, on the otherhand I also don't really care. If a person is a good person than that's what's important. I'd rather live in a gay neighborhood than a ghetto. I also grew up learning that it was "against God" and although I personally do believe that, would I ever stop loving one of my children if they were? Would I ever assume they were going to hell for it? That's a big fat NO. Come on people...there are worse issues in this world than persecuting people for their sexual orientation. How about complaining that you don't want a terrorist living next door? Now that's something worth complaining and arguing about.

Hey, to each his own as far as opinions go, but I think like someone else in here said, we have bigger fish to fry....ScrantonWB, I still love ya!
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