U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Politics and Other Controversies
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 10-15-2006, 12:14 AM
 
Location: Polish Hill, Pittsburgh, PA
29,636 posts, read 65,773,616 times
Reputation: 15129

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by dullnboring View Post
I think there is more of an argument to be made for the opposite. I think that if you are worried about falling in love with a man on the down low, you would be more likely to find such a man in an area with a "low" gay population. As was stated earlier, there are gays everywhere and the areas with "few gays" has more to do with less tolerance for people being openly gay and gay culture. They're still there, just afraid to come out. As such, in communities less accepting of homosexuals, "less gay" if you will, you're more likely to enter into a relationship with a man who is gay but afraid to come out due to the climate of the particular community. In communities like San Francisco and New York where there is a large population of gays and where gays are generally accepted and there is not so much stigma associated with it, men are more likely to come out, and less likely to enter into relationships with women while continuing to be on the down low as they don't risk losing as much by coming out as someone in a small town in the Deep South would.

That's the exact reason why you have such widespread depression amid openly-gay people in "closeted" areas, such as here in Northeastern Pennsylvania. I liked the reference made in an earlier reply that young single straight people don't want to be immersed in the gay culture because they want to have a better chance of meeting someone of the opposite sex in an area with a very low concentration of openly-gay people. I'm finally hitting a crossroads in my life. At age 19, I'm very depressed that ALL of my straight friends are now in happy, wonderful relationships, yet I feel like I'm the only openly-gay male in our small suburban community. (Which I more than likely am). I can see how frustrating it would be for straights my age to be single in a place such as Greenwich Village, San Francisco, or Provincetown, MA, where potential single straight mates are harder to come by. Similarly, it's tough to be gay in a very "conformist" area where anything that doesn't conform to the mainstream is viewed as being a "threat." I'm now stuck in a rut---Do I relocate out of the region to finally connect with other gay friends and possibly even find someone to fall in love with, or do I stay in this God-awful closeted Conservative redneck area, become depressed about being single at age 30, but be happier living in an area with a better overall quality of life otherwise? I truly don't know. If I were straight, I'd love living in Scranton for its proximity to NYC/Philly, low crime, clean air, and leafy surroundings. However, a part of me knows I'm going to be crying a lot of tears if I'm the only one at the ten-year reunion that still hasn't found someone. I just don't know anymore---I want to stay here, but it's starting to cause my depression to spiral downward to the extreme lately, especially as ALL of my straight friends are now in couples while I don't even have ANY gay friends, let alone a boyfriend!

Perhaps it's worth trading in a better quality-of-life for better mental health and less depression?

 
Old 10-15-2006, 07:31 AM
 
504 posts, read 1,621,175 times
Reputation: 330
The first thing you need to do is to get an education so that you can move anywhere and make a living.It's bad enough to be broke in a new or old town but to be broke and lonely is even worse.
 
Old 10-15-2006, 10:10 AM
 
Location: South Charlotte
233 posts, read 814,516 times
Reputation: 152
Considering the original post was brief, we prettymuch have to speculate where the author was trying to go with this question.

Someone stated on another thread that if you are looking for someone with like interests, then you should try joining organizations or clubs. I think if you are in a highly gay populated area, then as a single heterosexual, you really have to make more of an effort to get out and join clubs.

In my opinion, the ideal neigborhood for a single heterosexual would be a low gay population and low married family population.

I assume the only reason the author asked about areas with a low gay population is because they are a single heterosexual, and that is the only part I can relate. Other than that, I would prefer to live in a mixed environment -not too much of anything.
 
Old 10-15-2006, 01:25 PM
 
3,020 posts, read 23,121,816 times
Reputation: 2686
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScrantonWilkesBarre View Post
I'm now stuck in a rut---Do I relocate out of the region to finally connect with other gay friends and possibly even find someone to fall in love with, or do I stay in this God-awful closeted Conservative redneck area, become depressed about being single at age 30, but be happier living in an area with a better overall quality of life otherwise?
The solution is simple. Go to Boston and join the priesthood. Lot of like minded brothers, younger mates available too and the Bishop will bless you no matter what. They tell me the overall quality of life in Boston is rather "High" but that is a matter of conjecture what is exactly meant.

In Boston God does not associate with Conservatives or Rednecks.
 
Old 10-15-2006, 02:15 PM
 
Location: In exile, plotting my coup
2,408 posts, read 13,170,328 times
Reputation: 1784
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYnowNC View Post
I assume the only reason the author asked about areas with a low gay population is because they are a single heterosexual, and that is the only part I can relate. Other than that, I would prefer to live in a mixed environment -not too much of anything.
See, I'm thinking that the original poster, assuming they weren't just acting as a firestarter, was actually a conservative Christian "family man" who thinks homosexuality is a sin and wants to "protect" his children from it. Those seem to be the general types of people who actively seek out areas where homosexuality is thought of as unacceptable and/or where gays are kept in the closet.
 
Old 10-15-2006, 02:23 PM
 
3,020 posts, read 23,121,816 times
Reputation: 2686
Could also have been that the original poster,was a conservative Christian "family man" who wanted to buy a house in an area where the closets would have no foreign materials, linked boneages or personages from former occupants.

Lessons to sellers:

Ensure your house is totally cleaned out before turning over the keys, including the closets.
 
Old 10-15-2006, 02:33 PM
 
Location: Springfield, Missouri
2,814 posts, read 11,910,654 times
Reputation: 2000001281
Quote:
Originally Posted by dullnboring View Post
See, I'm thinking that the original poster, assuming they weren't just acting as a firestarter, was actually a conservative Christian "family man" who thinks homosexuality is a sin and wants to "protect" his children from it. Those seem to be the general types of people who actively seek out areas where homosexuality is thought of as unacceptable and/or where gays are kept in the closet.
You may be right dullnboring... seeing as how the Flu and Cold season is approaching and things are more transmissible this time of year, we may be seeing new batches of gays who couldn't escape exposure come Spring
 
Old 10-18-2006, 01:24 PM
 
Location: West Cobb County, GA (Atlanta metro)
9,190 posts, read 29,632,820 times
Reputation: 5091
It's hard to tell from the original post the general tone of the question.

This could be a person who assumes (wrongly) that gay men are all the swishy hairdresser/florist stereotype, or the type you see on the TV news reports marching in gay parades in leather thongs or dresses. Of all the gay people I know and work with (I'm in Atlanta = a lot), none of them fit any of those stereotypes, and when the topic has come up, most of them are very much against the parades, dont' go to bars, or anything else that many people apparently still assume "all" gay men do.

For that matter, I don't know the personal background of many of the people I deal with, but those I do know have gay friends in places like Biloxi, MS., Tifton, GA., Florence, KY., and many small towns. The general idea is that if you know 25 people, 5 of them are gay or bisexual whether you have a clue about them or not, regardless of where you live, much less how many people are that you walk by on the street, ride the bus with, or work with.

If you just can't stand gay people, black people, white people, or anyone else who belongs to a particular goup you don't like, the only "safe" thing to do is build a log cabin on about 1000 acres somewhere in Montana. Use solar power, grow your own crops, and avoid public places. Otherwise, admit that everyone isn't like yourself (whoever, no on in particular here), and live amonst the populace.

http://bestsmileys.com/hugging/4.gif (broken link)
 
Old 10-18-2006, 01:41 PM
 
Location: Burlington VT
1,405 posts, read 4,312,243 times
Reputation: 539
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jason_Els View Post
What you will find are places with populations either in or out of the closet, not where gay people will reside. There are gay people everywhere, all over the world, in every community. Some places are safe enough, some families are safe enough, to come out in, others, most in fact, are not.

You cannot escape gay people any more than you can escape the air.
Terrific point Jason!
 
Old 10-18-2006, 01:51 PM
 
Location: Burlington VT
1,405 posts, read 4,312,243 times
Reputation: 539
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cosmic View Post
The solution is simple. Go to Boston and join the priesthood. Lot of like minded brothers, younger mates available too and the Bishop will bless you no matter what. They tell me the overall quality of life in Boston is rather "High" but that is a matter of conjecture what is exactly meant.

In Boston God does not associate with Conservatives or Rednecks.
Cosmic -

Unless I misunderstand your post, perhaps you'd care to do some reading and learn to differentiate between Gay people and Pedophiles.

In a hundred years, being gay won't even be remarkable in enlighted places. Many people in America will know a married gay couple or two, I'd wager.

Child molesting will still be a crime, as it should be.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Politics and Other Controversies
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top