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Another Valentine's Day. Another night spent ordering in sushi for one and mooning over "Downton Abbey" reruns. Smarten up, ladies.
Despite all of the focus on professional advancement, for most of you the cornerstone of your future happiness will be the man you marry. But chances are that you haven't been investing nearly as much energy in planning for your personal happiness as you are planning for your next promotion at work. What are you waiting for? You're not getting any younger, but the competition for the men you'd be interested in marrying most definitely is.
Think about it: If you spend the first 10 years out of college focused entirely on building your career, when you finally get around to looking for a husband you'll be in your 30s, competing with women in their 20s. That's not a competition in which you're likely to fare well. If you want to have children, your biological clock will be ticking loud enough to ward off any potential suitors. Don't let it get to that point.
You should be spending far more time planning for your husband than for your career—and you should start doing so much sooner than you think. This is especially the case if you are a woman with exceptionally good academic credentials, aiming for corporate stardom.
An extraordinary education is the greatest gift you can give yourself. But if you are a young woman who has had that blessing, the task of finding a life partner who shares your intellectual curiosity and potential for success is difficult. Those men who are as well-educated as you are often interested in younger, less challenging women.
Could you marry a man who isn't your intellectual or professional equal? Sure. But the likelihood is that it will be frustrating to be with someone who just can't keep up with you or your friends. When the conversation turns to Jean Cocteau or Henrik Ibsen, the Bayeux Tapestry or Noam Chomsky, you won't find that glazed look that comes over his face at all appealing. And if you start to earn more than he does? Forget about it. Very few men have egos that can endure what they will see as a form of emasculation.
Now, I am conservative and pretty old-school but even I will admit this is complete rubbish. No GOOD man should be threatened by a woman's intelligence or how much she makes. In fact, a good man should be all to happy to have an intelligent woman that can make her own way. I found this woman to be very off the mark.
It has nothing to do with who is a "good man" versus basic compatibility and when is the best time to pick from the largest pool of available compatible mates. The article is advice to women on picking a compatible partner, not to men on how to be a "good man."
Now, I am conservative and pretty old-school but even I will admit this is complete rubbish. No GOOD man should be threatened by a woman's intelligence or how much she makes. In fact, a good man should be all to happy to have an intelligent woman that can make her own way. I found this woman to be very off the mark.
I guess it never occurred to her that some women are genuinely fine with being single, and that our #1 priority in life isn't finding a husband and/or having babies? I'm 37 years old, never married with no children, holding a Master's Degree and full-time professional job... and I honestly am 100% comfortable with that! I'm pretty set in my ways by this point, and have little desire to alter my entire living situation. Plus, it feels good to support oneself (especially given my privileged upbringing).
Of course she is entitled to her opinion, I just feel sorry for any woman whose life is incomplete without a husband and babies. I'm not really interested in having children, and if I fall in love & get married that's great... but if I don't, I'm glad my parents raised me to be a happily independent and self-sufficient woman. So you won't catch me doing what so many of my friends have, desperately seeking for and marrying the first decent offer.
Oh, and that bit about few men having the ego to stand a wife who earns more? Flat-out lie. Here in the Bay Area, PLENTY of women earn more than their husbands (my sister being one) - and I'd say their men are even more masculine & secure than one who'd be threatened by that. Given our ridiculous COL, one would be a downright moron to complain about "too much money," whether it came from a woman or man. LOL
Very true. The ultimate test of masculinity is seeing your wife outearn you and being just fine with it. What guy longs to drag a lifelong sponge around with him? I think mostly guys who need affirmation of a shakey masculinity.
Very true. The ultimate test of masculinity is seeing your wife outearn you and being just fine with it. What guy longs to drag a lifelong sponge around with him? I think mostly guys who need affirmation of a shakey masculinity.
Yep. Generally it's a need for control, as they know a dependent woman is (usually) a subservient one. Just look at the issues with battered women, many of whom can't escape because they have no other means of support. IMO every woman should at least have some backup plan, whether it's a formal education or experience in an employable field - even happily married women, as you cannot often predict divorce, death, HIS job loss, etc.
I guess it never occurred to her that some women are genuinely fine with being single, and that our #1 priority in life isn't finding a husband and/or having babies? I'm 37 years old, never married with no children, holding a Master's Degree and full-time professional job... and I honestly am 100% comfortable with that! I'm pretty set in my ways by this point, and have little desire to alter my entire living situation. Plus, it feels good to support oneself (especially given my privileged upbringing).
Of course she is entitled to her opinion, I just feel sorry for any woman whose life is incomplete without a husband and babies. I'm not really interested in having children, and if I fall in love & get married that's great... but if I don't, I'm glad my parents raised me to be a happily independent and self-sufficient woman. So you won't catch me doing what so many of my friends have, desperately seeking for and marrying the first decent offer.
Oh, and that bit about few men having the ego to stand a wife who earns more? Flat-out lie. Here in the Bay Area, PLENTY of women earn more than their husbands (my sister being one) - and I'd say their men are even more masculine & secure than one who'd be threatened by that. Given our ridiculous COL, one would be a downright moron to complain about "too much money," whether it came from a woman or man. LOL
So, Susan Patton said the same thing today that she said about a year ago, and the so-called "feminists" are already misunderstanding and misinterpreting as hard as they can, and dumping all over her?
If my wife made even half to what I make I'd be looking at an earlier retirement.
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