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Disposable income is used for dining out, and vacations.
Some people have the opinion that when you pay for a meal that costs 1/4 of your take home pay, it's not likely you'll want to add another 15 - 20 percent on top of that amount for the server.
Besides, everyone doesn't think a tip is obligatory.
In Austria, it's not customary to tip more than a single euro. When I was there on my very first trip many years ago, and I left an "american" sized tip it was considered far too much. Servers there earn an actual salary.
Anyone spending 1/4 of their take home pay on one meal in this country needs to cook more at home. Unless it's one fourth of one days' pay.
Your daughter might be able to explain other parts of the USA as well.
With me not "sounding Black", I will say that my father is from Wisconsin. He grew up in a mostly Black area, but then went to college, got exposed to some different things, got a different perspective. One thing I notice is that when he is around me or the family, he talks "standard English". When he is talking with someone from his old neighborhood, he will still speak "standard English", but there might be a bit of Ebonics thrown in.
One thing about the Black population as for as geographic distribution is this. Around 1900, 90 percent of the Blacks in the USA lived in the South. This was before the Great Migration. The culture in the North vs the South was different.
One can tell a difference in people between different areas. I know that where I went to high school, it is a different class of people compared to the town where I went to college. Different places, different people. Same with the bank situation. I'm living with my parents at the moment until the economy gets better. Where I'm at, I sometimes see people flying Confederate flags. If I go to the next county east of where I live, different environment,different kind of people, and a different mentality. Even the food is different. More options, diverse options.
As for the tipping, I had to wonder about this situation. I know as a Black man, I know to leave a good tip. I never had any kind of curiosity as to why some Blacks didn't tip. I never really cared why at all. I just know what I do. I think what got me is why so many people have that curiosity about Blacks. I never had that much curiosity, but some people do. And sometimes I think it isn't so much curiosity, but a reason to vent one's prejudice towards Blacks.
Unfortunately, I believe you are correct about that.
Even where I live in NJ, there is a microcosm of different types of cultures. I have some cousins who are embarrassingly racist and ignorant, even though my own sister has been married to a black man for more than thirty years. They still say amazingly stupid things in front of my family.
Also, re language, my parents grew up poor (Depression-era) and were unsophisticated people. When I got a job in the city at 20, I realized that I had to improve my own speech--I spoke sort of hickish because my family was small-town blue collar a couple of generations out of farmers. Thirty-five years later, I am still very careful and conscious with my speech at work and more relaxed and tending to fall back into my natural speech patterns when with old friends or family.
What about asians? To the people who have worked or are working jobs that get tips, what is your opinion on asian tippers?
I did a search and couldn't really find anything concrete. I always try to tip well. I know my dad goes out of his way to tip up to 25%. But again, I can't really find any study regarding asian tippers.
I'll ask her how they tip in general, but what my daughter gets a kick out of is Asians fighting over who will pay the check. They all want to be the one to pay. She has lived in China and will be moving back there shortly, and it's a cultural thing in some Asian countries to show you are doing well financially by insisting on paying the tab.
Here's a study distributed by the same Cornell University professor that concludes those of Jewish faith and no faith are better tippers than Christians.
The point of these studies seems to be two fold, wait staff make generalizations about tipping and it effects their performance and according to the conclusions, there is a perceived need to reform tipping behaviors.
I'll ask her how they tip in general, but what my daughter gets a kick out of is Asians fighting over who will pay the check. They all want to be the one to pay. She has lived in China and will be moving back there shortly, and it's a cultural thing in some Asian countries to show you are doing well financially by insisting on paying the tab.
Well, that's actually not the reason why we fight each other to pay. I know people think that when they see us fighting each other to get the bill. The reason behind that is pretty much just politeness. We like to do nice things to each other to avoid conflicts.
I've noticed that quite a few white Americans shamelessly try to get out of paying their fair share at a table. They often times try to pass it off to me to pay. I'm sure in their heads they think they've just outsmarted the stupid asian guy. To me, the reason I don't make a big deal out of it is because (1) it's pocket change to me and (2) I don't feel like stooping down to their level. Besides, I'm an engineer and a manager while they work at grocery stores. They can think I'm the stupid asian guy all they want. At the end of the day, I always get the last laugh. Heck, I've spotted half a dozen of my old high school bullies at grocery stores. I always chuckle a little when I see them.
And trust me, there are quite a few asians out there that try to do this as well. They would purposely go to the bathroom or purposely put in less money than they ate. Again, when they try to do this to me, I just let it go and pay the short amount. It's pocket change to me and I don't stoop down to that level.
Anyway, the point is I think tipping behavior as well as how much one tries to be fair says a lot about one's integrity as a person.
Well, that's actually not the reason why we fight each other to pay. I know people think that when they see us fighting each other to get the bill. The reason behind that is pretty much just politeness. We like to do nice things to each other to avoid conflicts.
I've noticed that quite a few white Americans shamelessly try to get out of paying their fair share at a table. They often times try to pass it off to me to pay. I'm sure in their heads they think they've just outsmarted the stupid asian guy. To me, the reason I don't make a big deal out of it is because (1) it's pocket change to me and (2) I don't feel like stooping down to their level. Besides, I'm an engineer and a manager while they work at grocery stores. They can think I'm the stupid asian guy all they want. At the end of the day, I always get the last laugh. Heck, I've spotted half a dozen of my old high school bullies at grocery stores. I always chuckle a little when I see them.
And trust me, there are quite a few asians out there that try to do this as well. They would purposely go to the bathroom or purposely put in less money than they ate. Again, when they try to do this to me, I just let it go and pay the short amount. It's pocket change to me and I don't stoop down to that level.
Anyway, the point is I think tipping behavior as well as how much one tries to be fair says a lot about one's integrity as a person.
OK, but it seems as if it causes a conflict, albeit a friendly one!
I think the cheapos exist in all cultures. I have a boss who makes about $200K but she'll never chip in for the cake for someone's birthday at the office and the guy who runs the coffee club has to hunt her down to get her to pay her five bucks each payday and she's always promising to catch up with him later. I go out to dinner regularly with a friend--a Jewish friend, and you know there are stereotypes about them and money, as well--who is in her Seventies, a widow, on SS with a part-time job doing home health care, and she will not leave less than a 20% tip.
I am not an engineer, but I work in the contract/bid/RFP field and so I work with a lot of engineers, many of whom are Asian or Indian. Um, no, don't think they are stupid at all!
I agree with you about tipping being a demonstration of one's integrity. I once knew a multi-millionaire who was not only cheap, he was nasty and verbally abusive to wait staff. No one wanted to go to dinner with him anymore. A wealthy jerk is still just a jerk.
Most corporate-owned restaurants pool tips and require the wait staff to " tip out".
Some restaurants charge the wait staff X % of the check and uses this to tip out to the behind the scenes crew. If the wait staff gets stiffed, they are still charged a percentage of the check. In other words, they pay their employer for the privilege of serving the restaurant's patrons.
Anyone spending 1/4 of their take home pay on one meal in this country needs to cook more at home. Unless it's one fourth of one days' pay.
I don't know what the average person earns, or what they'll spend on a meal.
But if someone earns above minimum wage and they're going out to dinner and spending money on a meal for a group of people - they could spend 1/4 of their take home "weekly" salary on a meal.
I can imagine that someone who spends a higher than average of money on a good meal (i'm not talking diner-type cuisine but a white tablecloth restaurant where a tab that comes to 200 bucks) they may not want to come out of their pocket for a 15 to 20 percent tip.
Some restaurants just add the gratuity automatically, or sometimes the reciept gives two options for tipping with the amount, and you just check it on the receipt and they add it in.
Frankly, I prefer to add the tip myself. Tips shouldn't be obligatory, and servers shouldn't automatically expect a tip. It's just etiquette while dining out and receiving that service that you leave a tip. Some people tip based on the quality of service they receive, some choose not to tip at all.
If you can't afford to eat out and leave a decent tip for service, then you probably shouldn't eat out at all.
Most corporate-owned restaurants pool tips and require the wait staff to " tip out".
Some restaurants charge the wait staff X % of the check and uses this to tip out to the behind the scenes crew. If the wait staff gets stiffed, they are still charged a percentage of the check. In other words, they pay their employer for the privilege of serving the restaurant's patrons.
And that's why this thread is gaining so much traction in first place. Servers who get stiffed on tips, have to pay back a percentage when they don't earn enough in tips.
Servers have decided that "generally" black people don't tip well, therefore they likely don't give them the best service because of that reason. Then, black people complain about receiving substandard service in restaurants. Then, black people don't tip the 15-20%. And... we get threads like this one.
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