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I'd like feedback for a situation that happened recently:
In the evening after dusk I was riding the public transit home. I noticed a 20 year old guy stare at me from my peripheral vision. I didn't look back or think much of it. But when I get off at my stop, I notice that he stands only after I did, and he gave me clearance to exit first. It's dark out now. He catches up with me after about ten feet and asks where I'm headed. I smell alcohol on his breath. I ignore and proceed on.
About a minute later I hear foot steps following me. So I cut through a parking lot and walk in an out of way path. Sure enough the foot scuffling is still there. I turn the corner and glance. It's the guy trailing me. He continues following me down a street in which I'm walking on the wrong side/wrong direction. Obviously following me.
There are no stores or police around. Only houses and dark streets.
I'm not buying that this is a true story. It is dark out and you walk in an out of the way path? A parking lot, nobody in it at all, leaving work, coming to work? No stores (who does the parking lot belong to?) or police, only dark houses and streets? Dark houses when it is dark out, what, are they abandoned houses? Most houses would have lights on and people either already home or driving the streets coming home, parking vehicles and walking to the house, etc. It is dark and no street lights? He spoke to you and you ignored him? With alcohol on his breath? I am surprised he did not assault you then for "dissing" him. It is a "respect" thing with that age and gender group. But he follows you, alone and in the dark, and doesn't do anything? Yea........right.
So, OP, what did happen, what is "the rest of the story"?
IF true, or just wanting to know what others would do IF this situation came about.....first I would never get off public transport alone at a dark and desolate place. I would not get off especially if a 20 something male who had been staring at me was the only person getting off with me at the same time. I would be aware of where this person was and head to the nearest populated place, store, house, vehicle, etc. I would not put myself in an out of the way place where my screams of "FIRE" could not be heard. And I would seriously give much thought to changing my hours, changing my job, getting a vehicle so I didn't have to use public transport, or arrange for someone to meet me when I get off the bus.
Yes, hind sight is crystal clear. Easy to say 'don't put yourself in that position.' However, what if found yourself in a similar position when you didn't expect it. How would you handle it?
Take out your cell phone and dial 911 and tell them you are being followed and exactly where you are.
Head back to the public transit stop, walk up to one of the homes and knock on the door. Tell them you are being followed and ask them to wait for the police with you or allow you inside.
How far do you have to walk to your home? Why didn't you just go home?
In such a situation, you need to turn the "psychological" tables.
This guy is obviously stalking you, for unknown reasons. He either intends to assault you, or just intimidate you. Some such get a thrill by instilling fear, and that's as far as they wish to go. Others start with fear, then, if they see they can get you upset/afraid, they continue to actual physical assault. They consider you as prey, much the same as a cat toying with a mouse.
Turn and look the guy in the eye. Speak firmly, but politely. Say I notice you've been following me. Are you lost? Do you need directions? This breaks his little game. You are no longer prey being stalked, you have a face, a voice, you are a person, and, most importantly, you are no longer under his control.
BTW, how did the situation resolve for you?
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