Bums, beggars, and people on the side of the road who want your money! (lawyer, insurance)
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And I would be willing to bet that the incidence of that is far greater in the homeless population, and perhaps even greater in the general population. I've never met an alcoholic or addict that didn't have a pre-existing mental health condition, from basic anxiety or depression, to severe ptsd to schizophrenia or bipolar. Personality disorders, etc.
I know I have hyped this book before, but in the realm of hungry ghosts by Gabor mate can change your view on the homeless, addicts, hookers. I felt like I had compassion for the down and out, but that book was...life changing. Both how I viewed others and how I viewed myself. I listened to it on audio book (I drive a lot). Phenomenal! He does take the USA to task on some of our policies (he is Canadian) but he is likely correct, and I am thick skinned. So it might not be a good read for people more sensitive and unable to deal with criticisms of American policy.
Thanks for that. Looks like an interesting read. In essence, you and I don't disagree. But regardless of what drives their alcoholism and substance abuse issues (Experts widely disagree on a lot on the substance of it, the causes, and the percentages), giving a homeless person money simply feeds the problem rather than solve it.
Thanks for that. Looks like an interesting read. In essence, you and I don't disagree. But regardless of what drives their alcoholism and substance abuse issues, giving a homeless person money simply feeds the problem rather than solve it.
I totally agree. I was reading Judith Herman's trauma and recovery and she talked about educating new survivors of trauma and the number 1 essentially was "do not drink". No matter what mental illness is under, alcohol or drugs make it worse.
Now to go have a glass of wine and pretend I don't have PTSD what did I just say
It worked for John Stossel, who went undercover and posed as a beggar. Rather long video, but worthwhile to better understand why giving cash to panhandlers is not the solution.
I watched the video and neither Stossel or Faux News has much credibility in my eyes.
The woman in the story with Stossel was cold as ice. She had that look in her eyes as someone I would run away from if I had any contact with her. Stossel should be ashamed of himself for lying like he did. But most who are employed by that network have no shame. I'm sure a lot of picking and choosing was done in the video to make the homeless look even worse because that is what they do spewing their usual hate.
I was careful when wording my post as I used "the majority of them." I can usually spot someone dishonest who does this, especially as someone told the gas station story on this thread. I've run across that myself and they deserved to be ignored just for lying.
Most don't want to believe or they don't care that many are struggling today. As per usual I will ignore what Fox told their viewers. I'll make my own mind up when it comes to helping people in need which includes actual homeless people with signs. Those living in shelters are included in that. I had a conversation with a woman in a grocery store a couple of months ago who told me she was living in a shelter. She did not ask me for anything. What she told me about the conditions inside the shelter where she lived was very sad, especially that theft is a real problem. I came away thinking that no wonder someone would choose the street instead. Watching that report one could come away with the notion that there wasn't anyone actually living in the street and every single beggar is doing so instead of being gainfully employed.
I do feel sorry for the many who are truly down and out.
As many have mentioned there is a difference between having empathy for those down on their luck and being generous enough to enable them to stay right where they are and get sicker. Did you ever stop to think you could provide that one last dollar that would buy the bottle/drug that would play a part in a man's death? Or that you could enable a homeless, mentally-ill person to stay on the street for that one last night when he gets beaten to death? That's not sympathy or kindness and I can't take a part in it.
Since I've retired from the rehab business, when I have the inclination and time, I'll stop to talk and find out what it's all about. It usually doesn't take long to get a picture of what the issues are. Not for one moment do I delude myself into thinking anything I do or say will make one whit of difference but there's always the hope that you can with maybe one person somewhere, sometime. And it costs me nothing but moments and a smile.
Generally what happens is that I will offer to connect them with the proper services among the abundance which are available to address that person's problems. And what I'll find out usually is that this person is no stranger to the system and wants nothing to do with the requirements he has to meet to receive the assistance he needs. He thinks he can provide for himself with a little money in his pocket and maintain the freedom to do it his way.
Now that's totally understandable and normal. Who wouldn't feel that way? And in a fifteen-minute discussion on a street corner no one is going to convince him that his way isn't working very well, particularly if he's delusional or under the influence.
If I had the answer I'd be grateful. But I don't. Most of these folks have long-standing multiple, persistent problems that require giving up some measure of control over their lives and supervision to get back on their feet. Quick fixes are not going to work.
And money? No way will I do anything to make it easier for a single one of those unfortunates to be in the situation he's in. Most of us never want the kind of help we really need until we are desperate and desperate for many of them is not having drink money or bus money to get to their next enabler. They truly do need to get to a place in their own hearts where they are willing to surrender to the help.
It they've been out there for a long time at some point you have to respect what's left of their personhood enough to assume they are doing it the way they want to do it.
As many have mentioned there is a difference between having empathy for those down on their luck and being generous enough to enable them to stay right where they are and get sicker. Did you ever stop to think you could provide that one last dollar that would buy the bottle/drug that would play a part in a man's death? Or that you could enable a homeless, mentally-ill person to stay on the street for that one last night when he gets beaten to death? That's not sympathy or kindness and I can't take a part in it.
Since I've retired from the rehab business, when I have the inclination and time, I'll stop to talk and find out what it's all about. It usually doesn't take long to get a picture of what the issues are. Not for one moment do I delude myself into thinking anything I do or say will make one whit of difference but there's always the hope that you can with maybe one person somewhere, sometime. And it costs me nothing but moments and a smile.
Generally what happens is that I will offer to connect them with the proper services among the abundance which are available to address that person's problems. And what I'll find out usually is that this person is no stranger to the system and wants nothing to do with the requirements he has to meet to receive the assistance he needs. He thinks he can provide for himself with a little money in his pocket and maintain the freedom to do it his way.
Now that's totally understandable and normal. Who wouldn't feel that way? And in a fifteen-minute discussion on a street corner no one is going to convince him that his way isn't working very well, particularly if he's delusional or under the influence.
If I had the answer I'd be grateful. But I don't. Most of these folks have long-standing multiple, persistent problems that require giving up some measure of control over their lives and supervision to get back on their feet. Quick fixes are not going to work.
And money? No way will I do anything to make it easier for a single one of those unfortunates to be in the situation he's in. Most of us never want the kind of help we really need until we are desperate and desperate for many of them is not having drink money or bus money to get to their next enabler. They truly do need to get to a place in their own hearts where they are willing to surrender to the help.
It they've been out there for a long time at some point you have to respect what's left of their personhood enough to assume they are doing it the way they want to do it.
It's amazing how these people in the streets who always ask for change will come across someone smoking a cigarette and will ask them for a smoke but not change, happens to me so much I won't smoke in some areas.
As for the government programs, have you ever tried to use one? This is another place where I say to go undercover and try, then report back to us.
Well, yes, in fact I have. I got unemployment benefits for 2 years and 9 months as well as food stamps, all from a job that lasted less than a year and a half. As a 'kid' in my early 20's with little in the way of expenses, it was a nice treat to take a long vacation. At the time I was able-bodied and could have worked, but why bother? Of course, once I re-entered the working world the government sucked plenty of tax money out of my pocket so that they could dole it out to buy the next group of potential votes.
Bottom line in my mind is that there are already plenty of programs in place, governmental and non-governmental, to help those that are looking for help. There are those mentally challenged folks that may need help finding suitable programs, in which case a conversation and an interaction would be much better than throwing a dollar or five their way. The rest of those folks, in my mind, don't want to bother looking for work because they prefer soliciting donations, either because it is more lucrative, enjoyable, enables addictions, freedom or all of the above.
I watched the video and neither Stossel or Faux News has much credibility in my eyes.
The woman in the story with Stossel was cold as ice. She had that look in her eyes as someone I would run away from if I had any contact with her. Stossel should be ashamed of himself for lying like he did. But most who are employed by that network have no shame. I'm sure a lot of picking and choosing was done in the video to make the homeless look even worse because that is what they do spewing their usual hate.
I was careful when wording my post as I used "the majority of them." I can usually spot someone dishonest who does this, especially as someone told the gas station story on this thread. I've run across that myself and they deserved to be ignored just for lying.
Most don't want to believe or they don't care that many are struggling today. As per usual I will ignore what Fox told their viewers. I'll make my own mind up when it comes to helping people in need which includes actual homeless people with signs. Those living in shelters are included in that. I had a conversation with a woman in a grocery store a couple of months ago who told me she was living in a shelter. She did not ask me for anything. What she told me about the conditions inside the shelter where she lived was very sad, especially that theft is a real problem. I came away thinking that no wonder someone would choose the street instead. Watching that report one could come away with the notion that there wasn't anyone actually living in the street and every single beggar is doing so instead of being gainfully employed.
I do feel sorry for the many who are truly down and out.
You can be empathetic all you want. So are the large majority of us on this thread. But those news reports are not making this stuff up. There are tons of scam artists out there who are rather content collecting $75-$100 a day in cash.
But you ask anyone who works at helping the homeless day in and day out and they will, to a person, state flatly to not give them handouts. Period. Not because these professionals are looking for more business, but because they know what happens after the panhandler manages to collect a few bucks. To be sure, there is the odd anecdote about someone having a hard time in a shelter, but it's far more likely that that's the addiction talking. Remember that every time an addict opens his mouth, he's lying. And almost always it's a lie calculated to elicit sympathy. It's a very useful thing to remember.
Maybe I'll try standing at an intersection with a sign that says, "Please help me pay for a trip to St Lucia!"
Try the different internet charity sites like "fundme".
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what did I just say
