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A million excuses, and it comes down to this - bullying has been handled the same way since the beginning of time, which is you either play victim and cry about it, or you take proactive steps to end your own victimization. In the history of old style bullying, as in "hey kid, gimme yer milk money!!" bullying, when did telling your parents or the teacher end the nonsense? Oh that's right, never. If you wanted a bully off your back in the good old days, you went straight-up Ralphie vs Scott Farkas and hooked that bully up with a beating. Period. In other words, you became proactive in improving your own life, which yes indeed is an important thing for kids to learn.
Cyber bullying is no different. Tell your parents, tell the school, tell the ISP, whatever....all that does is make it worse. Nope, you gotta fight back and do so with a vengeance, preferably with the goal of putting the suicide on the other foot. Life has many, many trench warfare moments. You either give ground to the aggressor, you hold the line, or you advance. It's up to you to pick which of those three works for you.
Mircea NAILED the co-dependency thing. A lot of parents in our absurdly medicated, codependent, professional victim society WANT their kids to be pitiful victims because misery loves company. Proper parents, who want to raise independent, capable adults...they tell their kid to toughen up and go give that bully a nice taste of street justice.
Example - my sister-in-law was bullied when she was 9 years old. This was at parochial school. She came home crying, said she wanted to change schools, etc. This was 1979 I think, and my mother-in-law said rubbish to that. She called the head nun at the school and told her that her daughter was going to beat up a bully this week because she had been told by her mother to do so, and that was that. She then told her daughter, you are grounded with no privileges until you hook that bullying girl up with a proper beating, so no TV, no fun, no games...nothing, until you smack that girl down.
Example two - on The Man Show, they did a Father-Son thing with Jimmy and Kevin Kimmel about bullies. Dad (Jimmy) says give the bully a beating, and the boy (Kevin) says "but Mommy said Jesus would turn the other cheek" to which Dad replies "yes, but you're not Jesus, so take this baseball bat and go give that bully a nice dose of Kimmel justice!" Funny, but a valuable lesson as well.
Yes, in today's society, your kid would get out-of school suspension, etc. So what? They end up learning two very valuable things in that case: 1) that you deal with bullies by delivering a beating to them, and b) Leviathan and its minions want you to be a victim, so don't be.
In the case of cyber bullying, you teach them skills to fight back online, or have them take online to the real world and go curbstomp up in the hizzy. Either way, as a parent, you choose to make your kid a winner or a loser, so choose wisely. If you choose them to be perpetual victim losers...you may want to ask yourself why.
It's called knowing what your child is doing, also you can buy phones and not have text or the internet on them, there is no reason a child needs this device in their hand 24/7, social skills should be obtained on a personal level not on a electronic device. A lot of adults need to learn this also.
Roaddog, the child does not need to be online or part of any social media to be bullied online. The child is not immune to the attacks because he or she is not on the internet on a media group, the bullies are and that is all it takes. When I was a kid, all I had to do was disappear into the library where the bullies did not go, I avoided the brunch and lunch or anywhere that I could be exposed and attacked. I was a rarity in my school in poor Pittsburg, California in the 60's when a large percentage of the population was African American or Hispanic. In the whole school of 2000 students there were 4 redheads, I was one of the 3 male redheads, the other two were brothers and got picked on as much as myself, the other was a girl who was very attractive. The only way I could hide was to stay away from the social groups. At least I could run home from school each afternoon, with the bullies chasing me, but there was no social media for me to worry about. Keeping ones child off of social media sites or away from cell phones or the internet will not stop the bullies from using the media to spread rumors. As one poster said, unless you plan on living in a hut or cave in the wilderness away from society, your child and all others have to deal with bullies using the net.
No, I don't think it is. I grew up in an era where bullying meant a possible a$$ kicking when confronted outside of the home. That's real bullying, as you are scared for your physical well being. Being hassled online is something you allow, not something you cannot control.
Kids today are such emotional wimps. Try growing up in the 70's and 80's. You have no idea how easy you have it.
Okay then, how does your child not allow it? How can one control it? I grew up in the 60's, the 70's and 80's was the advent of two parents working, making kids latchkey kids. My Mom never worked and we had someone at home who was waiting for our arrival, but I had friends who's parents both worked and they were able to get in trouble with their parents not knowing. Please tell us how to stop online bullying, if you have a solution, share it.
Okay then, how does your child not allow it? How can one control it? I grew up in the 60's, the 70's and 80's was the advent of two parents working, making kids latchkey kids. My Mom never worked and we had someone at home who was waiting for our arrival, but I had friends who's parents both worked and they were able to get in trouble with their parents not knowing. Please tell us how to stop online bullying, if you have a solution, share it.
Bully the aggressor right back, and with more vengeance, same as you would in a physical bullying situation.
How do you win a war? By making your opponent unwilling and/or unable to make war against you. Bullying is warfare on the individual scale. You win that war by making the bully unwilling and/or unable to bully you anymore.
Teach your kids to hide, be victims, wait for the rules to catch up enough to protect them, etc...and you're teaching defeat as self-fulfilling prophecy. Nope, you teach your kids to meet a challenge head on, and sometimes yes, with fists raised. That's how life is, no matter how enlightened we like to think ourselves.
A million excuses, and it comes down to this - bullying has been handled the same way since the beginning of time, which is you either play victim and cry about it, or you take proactive steps to end your own victimization. In the history of old style bullying, as in "hey kid, gimme yer milk money!!" bullying, when did telling your parents or the teacher end the nonsense? Oh that's right, never. If you wanted a bully off your back in the good old days, you went straight-up Ralphie vs Scott Farkas and hooked that bully up with a beating. Period. In other words, you became proactive in improving your own life, which yes indeed is an important thing for kids to learn.
Cyber bullying is no different. Tell your parents, tell the school, tell the ISP, whatever....all that does is make it worse. Nope, you gotta fight back and do so with a vengeance, preferably with the goal of putting the suicide on the other foot. Life has many, many trench warfare moments. You either give ground to the aggressor, you hold the line, or you advance. It's up to you to pick which of those three works for you.
Mircea NAILED the co-dependency thing. A lot of parents in our absurdly medicated, codependent, professional victim society WANT their kids to be pitiful victims because misery loves company. Proper parents, who want to raise independent, capable adults...they tell their kid to toughen up and go give that bully a nice taste of street justice.
Example - my sister-in-law was bullied when she was 9 years old. This was at parochial school. She came home crying, said she wanted to change schools, etc. This was 1979 I think, and my mother-in-law said rubbish to that. She called the head nun at the school and told her that her daughter was going to beat up a bully this week because she had been told by her mother to do so, and that was that. She then told her daughter, you are grounded with no privileges until you hook that bullying girl up with a proper beating, so no TV, no fun, no games...nothing, until you smack that girl down.
Example two - on The Man Show, they did a Father-Son thing with Jimmy and Kevin Kimmel about bullies. Dad (Jimmy) says give the bully a beating, and the boy (Kevin) says "but Mommy said Jesus would turn the other cheek" to which Dad replies "yes, but you're not Jesus, so take this baseball bat and go give that bully a nice dose of Kimmel justice!" Funny, but a valuable lesson as well.
Yes, in today's society, your kid would get out-of school suspension, etc. So what? They end up learning two very valuable things in that case: 1) that you deal with bullies by delivering a beating to them, and b) Leviathan and its minions want you to be a victim, so don't be.
In the case of cyber bullying, you teach them skills to fight back online, or have them take online to the real world and go curbstomp up in the hizzy. Either way, as a parent, you choose to make your kid a winner or a loser, so choose wisely. If you choose them to be perpetual victim losers...you may want to ask yourself why.
How do you use violence against someone when you don't know who's spreading the fake pictures and fake stories about you in the social media? Who are you going to assault? Who are you going to curb-stomp (kill)? Who are you going to beat with a baseball bat? You are an idiot if you tell your kids to use lethal force in school. I am guessing you are not old enough to be a parent. In the movie "Disconnect" the victim never knew who passed the pictures of him to everyone in school, and that's exactly what cyber bullying is all about.
A lot of parents in our absurdly medicated, codependent, professional victim society WANT their kids to be pitiful victims because misery loves company. Proper parents, who want to raise independent, capable adults...they tell their kid to toughen up and go give that bully a nice taste of street justice.
Someone once said "Despite what your momma told you, violence does solve problems."
I have been bullied twice when I was a kid. I went home crying. Lucky for me, I have two big brothers and I also learned to toughen up.
They pulled my hair, well, I fought back. I taught my nephews (4 and 5 years old) exactly this. Don't start a "war" with anybody you cannot finish, treat others the way you want to be treated. But if they punch you, punch them back.
That being said, cyber bullying is real and is just as bad as physically bullying.
How do you use violence against someone when you don't know who's spreading the fake pictures and fake stories about you in the social media? Who are you going to assault? Who are you going to curb-stomp (kill)? Who are you going to beat with a baseball bat? You are an idiot if you tell your kids to use lethal force in school. I am guessing you are not old enough to be a parent. In the movie "Disconnect" the victim never knew who passed the pictures of him to everyone in school, and that's exactly what cyber bullying is all about.
I'm not only old enough to be a parent, I am old enough to be a grandparent.
And untwist your panties about the baseball, it was a figurative example from a TV comedy. The point being, don't be a victim, stand up to your bully.
As far as the entirely mythical "no one person responsible" group bullying thing that you describe...there's always one person if you dig deep enough. Always.
In the "Disconnect" example, here's the solution - one of the kids with the picture is giggling and pointing at you. Okie doke, hook them up. Spot someone else the next day doing same thing...hook them up. Eventually, a couple things will happen - the joke won't be as funny once people find out they get beatings for laughing along with it, and/or you get invited to attend school elsewhere, and the new student body knows from the grapevine how it goes when you get teased. Done.
And my own 6 year old son got in trouble for dealing with a bully back in 1999. Trouble with the school anyway. He was getting bullied at after-school, and my rule was tell them to knock it off twice, and third time, punch them as hard as you can right in the mouth. Well, 3rd time was a charm, he punched the kid in the mouth, bloodied the kid's lip, and I got a phone call from the dean of students. I went, I said yes, I understood and yes, my boy did exactly what he had been told by me to do right down to the letter, and no, it probably wouldn't happen again because now all the kids know my boy isn't going to take being bullied without a fight. I then took him for ice cream and said let's not tell your mom, we'll keep it our secret.
My 10 year old nephew, same thing. He was teased for being overweight, and busted two of his bully's teeth out with one punch. My sister freaked out, but my brother-in-law and I were like "SWEET!!, good work!!" Nobody ever, even one time after that, teased my nephew.
Cyber bullying same thing. Just whoop the arse of a few people doing the teasing, and the teasing isn't nearly as fun and rewarding anymore. Done.
Cyber bullying same thing. Just whoop the arse of a few people doing the teasing, and the teasing isn't nearly as fun and rewarding anymore. Done.
No not the same thing.
I would not recommend responding to the bully at all. You should always encourage the victim NOT to respond or retaliate. Sceenshots, exchanges emails messages should be recorded. Most cyber bullies, just like real life physical bullies, are very dumb individuals who do not know that they ARE responsible for their nasty words.
Consider contacting an attorney. In serious cases, victims may be able to sue the cyberbully or the bully's parents for the infliction of emotional distress or other personal injuries.
Adding the word "opinion" to a defamatory statement does not automatically shield the speaker from liability. The determining factor is whether the "opinion" is about a verifiable fact.
For example, "in my opinion, he cheats on his taxes" is a defamatory statement since it is the assertion of a fact, even though it is called an opinion.
I see some idiots calling others "unstable, must have mental illnesses" on other forum, these idiots can be sued by a good attorney if the person they attacked wanted to pursue the case.
You really do NEED TO BE careful of what you say on the internet.
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