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Old 05-24-2015, 01:23 PM
 
9,141 posts, read 7,169,394 times
Reputation: 13795

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarahsez View Post
I'm sorry you think I'm uneducated. I believe every individual handles life's traumas in different ways. The girls have been raised to follow a certain way of thinking. Their view of therapy and working through problems probably isn't the same as yours. I know people who've been through therapy who think that the continued therapy caused bigger problems and kept them from moving forward. You just keep rehashing the same thing over and over. These girls lives have changed greatly since the twelve or so years since the molestation. Presumably, they have moved on. Your belief that they need continuing counseling doesn't necessarily fit their belief system or needs. It's their choice of how they handle the handle the situation or choose to address it at all.
If a therapist has you rehash everything over and over, they're probably not a very good therapist. You talk about it so the therapist knows what happened and what you're thinking and feeling about it, then the rest of it is the therapist helping you to move forward.

Therapists are human and have human personalities, and no one is a good fit for every individual. If someone feels they're just rehashing stuff, they should find a new therapist, probably a psychologist.

 
Old 05-24-2015, 01:55 PM
 
13,612 posts, read 10,251,945 times
Reputation: 17644
Quote:
Originally Posted by LillyLillyLilly View Post
If a therapist has you rehash everything over and over, they're probably not a very good therapist. You talk about it so the therapist knows what happened and what you're thinking and feeling about it, then the rest of it is the therapist helping you to move forward.

Therapists are human and have human personalities, and no one is a good fit for every individual. If someone feels they're just rehashing stuff, they should find a new therapist, probably a psychologist.
Yup. Therapy is not a one size fits all proposition. In the case of the Duggar girls, if I was their therapist, I'd first want to know how they are doing TODAY, and then work backwards if necessary.
 
Old 05-24-2015, 02:21 PM
 
3,577 posts, read 3,137,226 times
Reputation: 10679
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
But because of their quverful lifestyle, they have never once had a choice. Never. Read more about the cult and you will see. They need choices!

Plus when did they have their chance to move on. Was it when josh was the heir apparent in the family and they were "helpmeets"? Or when their bodies were forced to be covered? Or husbands chosen for them? Or when they were taught to be sweet?

Trust me, my daughter is obsessed with this show. I've seen tons of episodes. It's haunting.
I've watched a few episodes myself. I'm not a fan of the Quiverful lifestyle. In some ways it's like going back 100 years in time. In some ways we've advanced in 100 years. Not everything improved during that time. We've digressed in a lot of ways also.

The courting thing has been weird, particularly with Jim Bob's involvement. The outside population who aren't Duggars and who have more open selection in their choice of a life mate don't seem to be doing so hot. The general population has too many abortions, illegitimate babies and divorces. I don't know that either side is doing so great. Time will tell, I like Jill's husband so far. I haven't watched much of Anna or the other husband. I sometimes think couples are better off having shared experiences at a young age so they work together in the same mindset rather than playing the field. The players often don't seem to work together as well.

I don't have a problem with the family wearing modest clothing. The girls don't wear the latest in fashion, but are demonstrating that you don't have to walk around with their butt and boobs hanging out to be attractive.

I'm not a fan of the the older kids parenting the younger kids to the extreme that the Duggars do. I'm not against the older kids being required to help out some. The Duggars don't allow their children to remain idle and they are taught responsibility. They are doing ok in that context.

I see positives and negatives. I don't see anyone, Duggar or otherwise, who is doing a perfect job of parenting their kids.
 
Old 05-24-2015, 02:45 PM
 
11,678 posts, read 7,008,505 times
Reputation: 6387
Quote:
Originally Posted by wallawallahoohoo View Post
I'm glad this sad turn of events is shining the light for truth to come out. Sad thing is, for fervent fans of the show who idolize the family and believe them to be "good Christian" role models (ick!), they are running through some seriously despicable mental gymnastics to excuse the son's immoral, incestuous, and sexually abusive behavior.

For a family that regularly passes judgment unto others, makes a living removing freedoms and rights from people different from them, tax evades by declaring their home a "place of worship", collects insurance welfare for the entire family from the state of Arkansas through serving a one year term in local government, and brainwashes their children by limiting their worldview and freedoms, I am relishing this particular schadenfreude.
Are those that watch show actually trying to "excuse" the behavior? Excusing it would be saying something like "well, all he did was touch them...it probably didn't bother them too much".

The fact is, someone can be a role model despite one of their children doing something wrong. It's called life. There's no point in throwing the baby out with the bath water simply because of something one of their sons did as a teen. Sheesh....imagine if all parents had their entire philosophy on life thrown out when a child did something wrong.
 
Old 05-24-2015, 03:27 PM
 
10,171 posts, read 7,034,037 times
Reputation: 23927
Quote:
Originally Posted by eddiehaskell View Post
Are those that watch show actually trying to "excuse" the behavior? Excusing it would be saying something like "well, all he did was touch them...it probably didn't bother them too much".

The fact is, someone can be a role model despite one of their children doing something wrong. It's called life. There's no point in throwing the baby out with the bath water simply because of something one of their sons did as a teen. Sheesh....imagine if all parents had their entire philosophy on life thrown out when a child did something wrong.
But ahhhhhhhhhhh, here is the issue. They covered for their son. They left their daughters exposed for further abuse (which did happen). They didn't seek out proper mental health care for any of them. They swept it under the rug and then went on to become celebrities in their high moral values.....when they proved they didn't protect their children in the first place.

Check mate.
 
Old 05-24-2015, 04:00 PM
 
3,577 posts, read 3,137,226 times
Reputation: 10679
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
But ahhhhhhhhhhh, here is the issue. They covered for their son. They left their daughters exposed for further abuse (which did happen). They didn't seek out proper mental health care for any of them. They swept it under the rug and then went on to become celebrities in their high moral values.....when they proved they didn't protect their children in the first place.

Check mate.
They didn't just sweep it under the rug. From what we know, they took actions based on their beliefs. Most people here don't entirely agree with their beliefs, but that doesn't make them necessarily invalid. These were minor children. There was no reason to make this information public particularly for the protection of the children. We don't fully know what actions they took. They experienced parenting problems. It doesn't mean they don't have high moral values.

No. They didn't fully protect their children. The Duggars have been almost over protective in so many areas. I'm not sure any parent can fully protect their children. There are so many variables. The Duggars aren't perfect people. No one is.
 
Old 05-24-2015, 04:51 PM
 
Location: Planet Earth
2,782 posts, read 2,431,017 times
Reputation: 4982
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarahsez View Post
I don't doubt that the girls remember. Does it torment them? I don't know. I hope not. It's quite possibly something the girls do not want to talk about...counseling or no counseling. I think it'd be more heartbreaking to have a lot of strangers poking in your business and causing problems. The girls may be comfortable with the way things are.
You need to educate yourself about what sexual abuse does to people. "Strangers" poking into this "business". Rape, molestation, and sexual abuse is NOT business. It's an evil and awful deed imposed upon it's victims.

Last edited by FlowerPower00; 05-24-2015 at 05:07 PM..
 
Old 05-24-2015, 05:08 PM
 
Location: Planet Earth
2,782 posts, read 2,431,017 times
Reputation: 4982
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarahsez View Post
They didn't just sweep it under the rug. From what we know, they took actions based on their beliefs. Most people here don't entirely agree with their beliefs, but that doesn't make them necessarily invalid. These were minor children. There was no reason to make this information public particularly for the protection of the children. We don't fully know what actions they took. They experienced parenting problems. It doesn't mean they don't have high moral values.

No. They didn't fully protect their children. The Duggars have been almost over protective in so many areas. I'm not sure any parent can fully protect their children. There are so many variables. The Duggars aren't perfect people. No one is.
Just stop justifying sexual abuse. It's a crime.
 
Old 05-24-2015, 05:08 PM
 
8,440 posts, read 11,116,061 times
Reputation: 6212
Quote:
Originally Posted by NLVgal View Post
Yup. Therapy is not a one size fits all proposition. In the case of the Duggar girls, if I was their therapist, I'd first want to know how they are doing TODAY, and then work backwards if necessary.
I think each victim deserves a different therapist. Of course this is all in theory as JB and M have not indicated their daughters count enough for therapy.

MSR
 
Old 05-24-2015, 05:35 PM
 
8,440 posts, read 11,116,061 times
Reputation: 6212
Quote:
Originally Posted by FlowerPower00 View Post
You need to educate yourself about what sexual abuse does to people. "Strangers" poking into this "business". Rape, molestation, and sexual abuse is NOT business. It's an evil and awful deed imposed upon it's victims.
I agree. I'm sickened with the posts today from Quiverfull families saying Josh was "just playing doctor." I won't link that post as the woman who wrote it blames victims and semi admits to being an untreated victim herself. She essentially says girls have to learn to live with these things.

I am concerned how much in Ark. might be overall ignorance with the subjects, although the interviewing officer did a fairly good job interviewing victims, IMO. Or how much doesn't get reported due to so many Quiverfull families are in Arkansas. And there is no way to know how many law enforcement officers or others either are Quiverfull families or sympathetic to them.

Sexual abuse has long term effects in so many areas of a person's life. Recovery is a lifelong process with tune ups needed at certain times. Sexual abuse therapy is different for offenders than victims. A person must feel comfortable with his/her therapist to accomplish anything. I encourage those seeking sexual abuse treatment to ask questions of the therapist such as where did they get specialty training in Sex abuse treatment, how many years have they treated sexual abuse victims, What are referral sources who send sexual abuse clients and other pertinent treatment questions. Therapists do not have to answer personal questions, and the focus should be on the patient's life and therapist's training/experience.

For Sex offenders seeking counseling, like that happens voluntarily....well sometimes it does, but only pre-sentencing, they aren't going to like any therapist initially. But, that is part of their denial process. Not many like being called a perpetrator or Sex offender.

MSR

Last edited by Mtn. States Resident; 05-24-2015 at 05:50 PM..
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