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I don't wish to start an argument with you, I much rather have a discussion eith you but you aren't black, so you don't understand the complexities of this conversation.
WhenI hear my full black male cousins say they ONLY want to date hispanic and white ladies for superficial reasons like "pretty" hair or the chance of blue or hazel eyes and light skinned children, THAT'S an issue. .
I watch my male cousins and the guys of my generation choose horrible women in terms of personality all because they have light, fair skin. (Kanye West comes to mind).
Yet they'll vilify black women for wearing fake hair but date a white woman who does the same. When a black woman wear their natural hair black men tend to tell them to straighten it. Latinas can be sassy and with an attiude and black men will love it, because it's the "latin" spice, but a black woman shows any frustration or anger and she's bitter.
How is any of this fair!?? These are senseless double standards.
So when a poster says that black men exclusively date outside their race, please don't discredit it, because it's pretty rampant within the black community, and I am speaking from first hand experience.
You just contradicted yourself which means the point went right over your head.
Saying black men EXCLUSIVELY date outside their race, isn't the same as saying it's pretty rampant.
You should do some research. You can start by reading the various studies outlined in this article.
Toldson and Marks found that 75 percent of black women marry before they turn age 35 after examining census data from 2005 to 2009. Moreover, black women in small towns have higher marriage rates than white women in urban centers such as New York and Los Angeles, Toldson remarked in the New York Times.
Toldson and Marks found that 83 percent of married black men who earned at least $100,000 annually got hitched to black women. The same is the case for educated black men of all incomes. Eighty-five percent of black male college graduates married black women. Generally, 88 percent of married black men (no matter their income or educational background) have black wives. This means that interracial marriage should not be held responsible for the singleness of black women.
Dr. Toldson is a professor at Howard University and Dr. Bryant Marks is a professor at Morehouse.
And from a study done in 2010, when the population of blacks was 40 million:
In 2010, there were 2,413,000 interracial married couples in
the United States. Of that total, 1,723,000 (71.4%) were be-
tween Whites and people in other racial groups. In 2010, there
were 558,000 Black-White married couples in the United States,
with 390,000 (69.9%) representing Black husbands and White
wives and 168,000 (30.1%) representing White husbands and
Black wives. In 2010, there were 132,000 marriages between
Blacks and people in another race who were not White1.
Pertaining to interracial dating, Ellis Cose cited an unpub-
lished report claiming that: “In a survey of residents of 21 cities,
Tucker & Co. found that 78 percent of black men (average age:
32) had dated interracially at least once, as had 53 percent of
black women (average age: 34)” (Cose, 2003: p. 46). It is re-
ported that the percentage of adult Blacks who have dated at
least one White American in their lifetime was 43%, and 17%
for Whites who have dated at least one Black in their lifetime
(High Beam Research, 2003).
Okay, now you naysayers post links to studies by legitimate sources in an attempt to refute this.
Which is crazy because most white women wear fake hair, fake nails, draw on their eyebrows and are now getting fake butts. Yet, it's all fine on a white body.
Furthermore, most black women I know have natural hair, some pass their back (naturally---shocker I know ) or wear it curly and black men overlook them but conveniently say that all black girl wear weaves.
Also my friends in college that were black didn't have attitudes and had lovely personalities and black guys would know these girls and still lie and say "all" black girls have attitudes.
Yes a ton of white girls wear extensions. I think the reason this is overlooked is because when they wear extensions it's the same texture as their real hair so it looks like their own. A lot of black girls wear weaves, but honestly that (wearing fake hair) isn't a crime, so I don't get the nasty attitude toward black girls that wear weaves to begin with. And whenever a black man makes a comment about that I always think that to myself--I mean yeah the hair is fake, but dang is she hurting you LMAO? I don't know if the real issue is that the men think it's crazy for a women to put fake hair on her hair, or because they can't pull on it during sex. SMH, but either way, it's a silly tired reason but if it's deal-breaker then that's their right. I'm not a man so I don't know. I know that I would be miffed if I dated a guy that wore fake hair so I can sort of feel the disdain but holding that against black women and pretending that white women don't do the same thing is what my issue is. That and the fact, that there are plenty of black women that don't wear weaves.
I don't wear my hair natural,I like relaxers, so I can't comment about men overlooking women with natural hair. But honestly I see a lot of black men with black women WITH weaves so even though a lot of them that say they don't like it, they still will date a girl with a weave especially if she's bad. Which is why the whole "weave" thing discussion opens up a can of worms, what it always boils down to is personal preference.
I can sort of understand the attitude thing, because while I know plenty of black females that don't have attitudes, I know more that do, LOL, but the thing is, white girls and other races have attitudes too and this gets overlooked because the attitude isn't the same across each race--but it's there--and it isn't exclusive to black women. Women are catty creatures in general, and amongst each race and class, the attitude is different, but it's always there. I think what these men really are doing is using the stereotypical attitude we see in ghetto black women, and applying that across the board--to black women collectively--and saying "yeah we don't like that attitude. And I can't blame them, because when my friends get that type of attitude, I don't like it either. That being said like you said Latina girls and white girls get attitudes and for whatever reason this isn't looked at as negatively as it is with black women. It could be the difference in attitude that causes men to overlook it. Who knows?
I'm not a black man so I can't comment on why some black man hold black women to a different set of standards than other groups. The boys that created the youtube video, later said they were joking, but as you can see from the number of people that commented--there are portion of black men that agreed with them, and a portion that didn't. Maybe what it boils down to is how these men were raised and the type of women they were raised around. But either way, I can say that MOST of the black men I've met have not shown that level of ignorance, so while I agree that it's an issue, it's only an issue that seems to be present with a specific subset of ignorant black men that I wouldn't date anyway(and I have a feeling you wouldn't either). People use that subset--this vocal ignorant subset--to represent other black men and I don't agree with that either.
Last edited by Faith2187; 08-09-2015 at 03:10 PM..
Location: Somewhere in a Field of Hopes and Dreams
596 posts, read 627,289 times
Reputation: 683
Quote:
Originally Posted by MPowering1
You just contradicted yourself which means the point went right over your head.
Saying black men EXCLUSIVELY date outside their race, isn't the same as saying it's pretty rampant.
You should do some research. You can start by reading the various studies outlined in this article.
Toldson and Marks found that 75 percent of black women marry before they turn age 35 after examining census data from 2005 to 2009. Moreover, black women in small towns have higher marriage rates than white women in urban centers such as New York and Los Angeles, Toldson remarked in the New York Times.
Toldson and Marks found that 83 percent of married black men who earned at least $100,000 annually got hitched to black women. The same is the case for educated black men of all incomes. Eighty-five percent of black male college graduates married black women. Generally, 88 percent of married black men (no matter their income or educational background) have black wives. This means that interracial marriage should not be held responsible for the singleness of black women.
Dr. Toldson is a professor at Howard University and Dr. Bryant Marks is a professor at Morehouse.
And from a study done in 2010, when the population of blacks was 40 million:
In 2010, there were 2,413,000 interracial married couples in
the United States. Of that total, 1,723,000 (71.4%) were be-
tween Whites and people in other racial groups. In 2010, there
were 558,000 Black-White married couples in the United States,
with 390,000 (69.9%) representing Black husbands and White
wives and 168,000 (30.1%) representing White husbands and
Black wives. In 2010, there were 132,000 marriages between
Blacks and people in another race who were not White1.
Pertaining to interracial dating, Ellis Cose cited an unpub-
lished report claiming that: “In a survey of residents of 21 cities,
Tucker & Co. found that 78 percent of black men (average age:
32) had dated interracially at least once, as had 53 percent of
black women (average age: 34)” (Cose, 2003: p. 46). It is re-
ported that the percentage of adult Blacks who have dated at
least one White American in their lifetime was 43%, and 17%
for Whites who have dated at least one Black in their lifetime
(High Beam Research, 2003).
Okay, now you naysayers post links to studies by legitimate sources in an attempt to refute this.
Disclaimer: I'm in research.
So clearly you rather hold an argument than a civilized discussion. I never said black men exclusively date outside of their race, so no, I did not contradict myself.
You missed MY point, which was to not trivialize others' experience when you have no leg to stand on and no experience as a black to speak on.
You aren't black but you want me to do some research on the black experience when I am OF this community!?? You must be joking...okay, I'm laughing.
Your statistics show an arrogance and naivete about yourself. I'm glad you think YOUR statistics have more relevance than my personal, direct experience.This undermines YOUR point.
Which leads me to motive. Why do you have so much stake in this dicussion if a. You aren't willing to have an open and fair conversation with persepctives different than your own and b. You aren't a black man?
Strange but I won't continue to have a conversation with a man whose logic tells him he knows more about the black experience by looking at statistics online than hearing about it from first hand accounts.
Funny, I thought primary sources were the most reliable. But my god who knew a non black could know about the black experience better than a black person
Location: Somewhere in a Field of Hopes and Dreams
596 posts, read 627,289 times
Reputation: 683
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith2187
...He wanted me to buy a bottle of liquor and I had no problem doing it, because I'm not petty like that, but the liquor store was closer to him than me, so it made no sense, and questioning it meant that I was a tripping gold-digger?
Or another guy I dated said he stayed out of the sun because he got as dark as midnight...he smiled and said, [b]"Good because if I have kids I could only have them with a girl that was light like you or else my kids would be too dark"....Or the many guys that have asked me "Are you mixed? You don't look like a black girl."
Or, "black girls have too much attitude and are ghetto, but you're not. You act just like a white girl, and that's why I can date you."
1. Yeahh, he probably didn't have the money and just wanted you to buy it but couldn't be honest. A lot of guys these days want to be pampered and spoiled like women lol
2. I can't date guys like that. I am multiracial but I hate when black guys try to sniff out what I am because it shouldn't matter. But when they ask it makes me think they have some insecurity and why would I want to date you?? If you hate your dark brown skin, why would I want to mix and have your kids...just so our kids can then hate their darker skin???
3. And yet black men lead in violent related crimes...people really should move away from stereotypes because it looks silly
Quote:
Originally Posted by smart-dumb-kid
My topic gone to stupid. No more threads about race, and how it relates to dating.
You made a post on racism and dating, so what did you think would happen? I hardly would call a conversation on racism across the races as stupid.
This has turned into a mess. The women who have complained about ghetto Black men, well, consider this. Those women could easily say no to those types of men. I've seen it in my life. Some of the women who exclusively date Black men, many go after the ghetto types instead of the decent types. There are many decent Black men out there. However, many women go after the thugs. As I was told, lie with a dog, you get fleas.
I have personal experience with this. There was a girl that I liked in high school. To sum me up in high school, I was a book worm. I read books, I actually liked getting decent grades. One guy described me in this way: "You're Black, but you don't talk like it". I was one of those Black guys who got pegged as "acting White". Personally, I found it insulting, but whatever. There was a girl that I thought about dating. She told me that I was not her type. Guess what type she went for. Thugs. I was a short, slender guy who read books. In fact, I wasn't alot of girls' type.
And that is the thing. There are decent Black men out there. However, thugs seem to have a big appeal, forget the fact that the relationships with those hood rats usually go nowhere.
3. And yet black men lead in violent related crimes...people really should move away from stereotypes because it looks silly
And the Black men perpetrating those crimes are thugs and underclass hood rats. I haven't heard one mention from you about the Black men who are decent, hardworking people. But then again, in all of this complaining about Black men, the ones who are decent get ignored. Not a surprise to me.
1) This is a poetry slam. Of course there is going to be alot of dramatization. Maybe this is why he picked a poetry slam to do this in. He thought that perhaps he could be angry, and not get any crap about it as a Black man.
2) This man was talking about fathers who have the "no Black guys" rule. He was not saying that he only wanted to date White women.
3) This is what I got out of it. This was about wanting to be accepted. This was wanting to be seen as an equal, to be judged as an individual.
This has turned into "lets complain about Black men". This wasn't suppose to turn into that. However, it has.
What you "think" and reality are two completely different things. The numbers don't support your opinion
Funny, I don't see any numbers about anything from you, just semantics. So far, you've yet to make a point otherwise. Meanwhile, enough "anecdotal evidence" translates into trends, and trends translate into the norm. There are far more affluent black men I'd say dating/marrying outside of their race than in it. No, I can't offer hard proof of it, I doubt a study for that has ever been done. Doesn't change the fact that you see it all the time among rich black men.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Railman96
For your underlined statement, if you don't know personally how would you know how much money I make? Regardless, the small percentage of affluent Black male celebrities that you see with non-Black women is somehow proof that "black men would much rather date a white woman, or a latina, or asian vs a black woman."
It's not a small percentage. It's your OPINION that it's a small percentage, and it's false. You let me know when black baseball players, football players, golfers, etc... start marrying more black women. I don't even know why you're arguing what can be seen by virtually every black celebrity.
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) or wear it curly and black men overlook them but conveniently say that all black girl wear weaves.
but I won't continue to have a conversation with a man whose logic tells him he knows more about the black experience by looking at statistics online than hearing about it from first hand accounts.
. My question would be why does this guy feel the need to only date white women
Regardless, the small percentage of affluent Black male celebrities that you see with non-Black women is somehow proof that "black men would much rather date a white woman, or a latina, or asian vs a black woman." 