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Old 08-11-2015, 12:13 PM
 
Location: Secured. Sealed. Loved. Eternally. I <3 You Jesus!
13,326 posts, read 6,977,808 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith2187 View Post
Thank you for sharing your experiences. I do think that looks do play a role in how a biracial child might identify themselves. I have cousins that are biracial and like you mention they all look different from each other-one looks very light with curly jet black hair-but she doesn't look fully black, her oldest brother looks like a light skin Black man, her youngest brother looks Mexican, and her younger sister has a darker tone then her with straight brown hair. All of them identify as black though-but the oldest brother is the only one that dates whites. It's interesting because while the oldest girl does have her moms features, she obviously doesn't have the white complexion so she often says she looks like her dad(when most people argue that she looks more like her mother except without white skin and red European hair). They all refer to themselves as black. Though they acknowledge obviously that their mother is white.

I had a friend In high school and she looked middle eastern but I later found that her mother was white and her father was black. She chose to still call herself black. Her brother looked slightly more black than she did but he still didn't look black and he also identified as a black man and only dated black girls. At the time I wondered why they chose to call themselves black when looking at them you couldn't tell what they were and when we were in a mostly white environment where they had more opportunity to connect with white peers but they chose not to.

I think when a biracial child can pass for white or looks less black that they have more ability to choose how they want to identify themselves but when they have a skin tone that can't pass for white but isn't necessarily black looking either that's when it becomes complicated I suppose.

I think it's natural for a parent to want to preserve their ancestory and culture so I too would probably be offended if I were a parent with a child that identified more with her other other parents culture more than my own. So I get that part of it. What I find interesting however is that whether biracial children or their parents want it, society(often whites) will lump them in with blacks. Which puts them in this position where they end up identifying as black despite not being black. And the few that can pass for white sometimes do that as well. For instance Nicole Ritchie recently made a statement saying she was black, but she is biracial and she does not look black so why point out that she is black when she is biracial and doesn't even look black? I believe society pressures people to be more conscious of race and to choose something whether than just saying "I'm both.

Nowadays I hear more blacks distancing themselves with statements like "they are not black", "they do not look black" or "they should not be considered black like me" and with whites doing the same(specifically the white men on here mentioning the consequence of having a biracial child that will essentially not preserve whiteneess) it seems like it makes sense to just allow biracial people to identity as biracial..

I myself do not consider biracial children to be black. And I know many parents of biracial children do not either. Yet I've noticed that when my son has been out with my white friend's biracial kids-one of which has a skin tone similar to his and hair similar to his-people have often thought they were brothers and sisters. It's never black people that make these comments either. So while I'm not saying whites are the problem(I believe our race conscious society is) I am saying that like you've mentioned that "one drop rule" seems like the basis that some whites use when they talk about how they don't want their child to have "children" with blacks.

Perhaps as more whites have children with men of other races and we see more and more biracial children people will stop associating them with "blackness".
I agree with the part of your post I put in bold. It's part of why I don't understand why some people are so judgmental of those who would not marry interracially.

 
Old 08-11-2015, 12:39 PM
 
47,543 posts, read 45,245,703 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snj90 View Post
I agree with the part of your post I put in bold. It's part of why I don't understand why some people are so judgmental of those who would not marry interracially.
I'm not judgmental of anyone who chooses to marry someone of their own ethnicity. I'm judgmental of anyone who would stereotype someone solely based on race. I am judgmental of someone who doesn't take someone at one's individual merit. I have an issue with those who would disown their children because their children dated outside of their race.
 
Old 08-11-2015, 01:08 PM
 
3,067 posts, read 2,497,028 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snj90 View Post
I agree with the part of your post I put in bold. It's part of why I don't understand why some people are so judgmental of those who would not marry interracially.
Because you can still preserve your culture and ancestory even in an interracial marriage if you both integrate your cultures in the home so that the child has equal exposure to each. The problem may be that in some IR marriages this does not happen or one side is dominant over the other. For instance a white woman I know that is married to a African man has basically raised her kids only practicing African customs... I'm not even sure what her heritage is because she never mentions it. However if she practiced and taught her children customs from her heritage in addition to her husbands African culture then she is an essence preserving her culture and passing it onto her children. Now if you mean preserving by only producing kids that look white than its obvious that yes that aspect will be lost if you have a child with a person of another race. I imagine that some people don't care as much about this as others. For instance, not being able to share parts of my family's culture or having a child that is biracial are not reasons for me for why I don't see myself ever having an interracial marriage. But obviously for others these are big influencers. I personally don't judge people negatively for not wanting an interracial marriage because I personally do not want an IR marriage either. At the same time I don't care if others want IR marriages and don't feel threatened or angry at those who choose to marry outside of their race. And if my son married a woman that was not black I would not feel hurt by this decision as long as his choice in marrying this woman is not one made based on self-hatred, not liking black women, or other stupid stereotypes. The problem is that a lot of the people that commented negatively about this weren't just talking about how they themselves would not marry out of their race but they also had problem with it in general(for others).
 
Old 08-11-2015, 01:23 PM
 
2,186 posts, read 1,838,565 times
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Here we go again...
 
Old 08-11-2015, 01:32 PM
 
Location: Suburb of Chicago
20,244 posts, read 9,891,136 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Railman96 View Post
Here we go again...
There's a reason 'Here Comes Honey Boo Boo' lasted more than a couple of episodes.
 
Old 08-11-2015, 01:35 PM
 
Location: La lune et les étoiles
17,611 posts, read 18,976,105 times
Reputation: 18918
Quote:
Originally Posted by smart-dumb-kid View Post
Self hating black man BEGS for love and acceptance from racists so that he can fornicate in peace with their daughters. SMDH. So sad.
 
Old 08-11-2015, 02:02 PM
 
3,067 posts, read 2,497,028 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LaughingAtU2 View Post
Whites lose in this interracial dating thing. You can share all you wonderful stories but the fact is that mixed black kids look more black than white. There are exceptions but those are just that exceptions. And please don't mention marriage and black men in the same sentence. Most black mixed babies are born out of wedlock and that is another reason patents don't like their daughters dating the brothers.
Most mixed babies are out of wedlock? Do you have evidence of this? And if this is true, then how can the parents blame the bm without looking at the daughter as well. If she has a child with a deadbeat or an irresponsible man it didn't happen because solely because the man is black, it happened because she wasn't wise about the type of man she should settle down with-race aside. There are plenty of bm that marry the mother of their kids or that want to marry the mother of their kids and be a parent. Then there are those that do not, usually the ones that do not have other personality flaws and/or red flags that might have been ignored by the white woman. Yet the bm is the only blame?
 
Old 08-11-2015, 02:10 PM
 
47,543 posts, read 45,245,703 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LaughingAtU2 View Post
Whites lose in this interracial dating thing. You can share all you wonderful stories but the fact is that mixed black kids look more black than white. There are exceptions but those are just that exceptions. And please don't mention marriage and black men in the same sentence. Most black mixed babies are born out of wedlock and that is another reason patents don't like their daughters dating the brothers.
And? I personally don't care why alot of parents don't want their daughters dating Black men. There are decent Black men out there. Among them is my father. Married for 30 years going. I was born IN wedlock. I don't care because individual merit and personal responsibility are far more important to me.
 
Old 08-11-2015, 02:13 PM
 
47,543 posts, read 45,245,703 times
Reputation: 15190
Quote:
Originally Posted by calipoppy View Post
Self hating black man BEGS for love and acceptance from racists so that he can fornicate in peace with their daughters. SMDH. So sad.
Can you prove that is the case?
 
Old 08-11-2015, 02:20 PM
 
47,543 posts, read 45,245,703 times
Reputation: 15190
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith2187 View Post
Most mixed babies are out of wedlock? Do you have evidence of this? And if this is true, then how can the parents blame the bm without looking at the daughter as well. If she has a child with a deadbeat or an irresponsible man it didn't happen because solely because the man is black, it happened because she wasn't wise about the type of man she should settle down with-race aside. There are plenty of bm that marry the mother of their kids or that want to marry the mother of their kids and be a parent. Then there are those that do not, usually the ones that do not have other personality flaws and/or red flags that might have been ignored by the white woman. Yet the bm is the only blame?
You have presented a good point right there. Like the song by Rob Base and DZ EZ Rock states, it takes two. If there is a man having sex with that woman, then the woman is also doing it too. That woman can easily say no, and that man could just as well control his loins.

And this is just the way I see this. All of this could be prevented by not having sex outside of marriage. All of this can be prevented by examining that man and what he is like before getting involved with him, regardless of race.

It takes two, both parties are responsible.
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