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This has turned into a mess. The women who have complained about ghetto Black men, well, consider this. Those women could easily say no to those types of men. I've seen it in my life. Some of the women who exclusively date Black men, many go after the ghetto types instead of the decent types. There are many decent Black men out there. However, many women go after the thugs. As I was told, lie with a dog, you get fleas.
I have personal experience with this. There was a girl that I liked in high school. To sum me up in high school, I was a book worm. I read books, I actually liked getting decent grades. One guy described me in this way: "You're Black, but you don't talk like it". I was one of those Black guys who got pegged as "acting White". Personally, I found it insulting, but whatever. There was a girl that I thought about dating. She told me that I was not her type. Guess what type she went for. Thugs. I was a short, slender guy who read books. In fact, I wasn't alot of girls' type.
And that is the thing. There are decent Black men out there. However, thugs seem to have a big appeal, forget the fact that the relationships with those hood rats usually go nowhere.
If you really want to know
What I want in a guy
Well, I'm lookin' for a dream on a mean machine
With hell in his eyes.
I want a devil in skin tight leather,
And he's gonna be wild as the wind.
And one fine night, I'll be holdin' on tight
To a cool rider, a cool rider.
If he's cool enough,
He can burn me through and through.
Whhoa ohhhh
If it takes forever,
Then I'll wait forever.
No ordinary boy,
No ordinary boy is gonna do.
I want a rider that's cool.
That's the way it's gonna be,
And that's the way that I feel.
I want a whole lot more than the boy next door,
I want hell on wheels.
Just give me a fine motorcycle,
With a man growin' out of the seat.
And move aside, cause I'm gonna ride
(Chorus)
I don't want no ordinary guys, Comin' on strong to me. They don't know what I'm lookin' for, They don't know what I need. They're gonna know when he gets here, Cause the crowd will be shakin'. I'll do anything to let him know, That I'm his, his for the takin'.
I want a cool rider,
A cool, cool, cool, cool rider.
I want a cool rider,
A cool, cool, cool, cool rider.
I want a C-O-O-L R-I-D-E-R.
I need a C-O-O-L R-I-D-E-R.
Why didn't you try dating the nerdy/quirky girls who were more like you?
Posting links about ALL black people has no bearing whatsoever on what I'm talking about. Zip. None. (It's a nice fantasy to think that all black people are affluent, but they lag every other race in America in that, so posting information about blacks as a whole has nothing to do with what I'm talking about.)
All the AFFLUENT ones are not marrying black women.
Read the previous sentence.
Again.
Again.
Do you get it now?
Obviously not all affluent BM are marrying BW, but you don't have any solid proof that "what can be seen by virtually every black celebrity." is true other than what you see on TV or the internet.
Do you have actual RAW numbers that show AFFLUENT black men marry or date NONBW more than BW?
Otherwise why continue to bring this up? You clearly feel that "affluence" is important and that affluent BM don't want BW but whereas that poster at least has numbers to back up his claim that BM marry BW more than other races, all you've done is talk about what you've seen, and CELEBRITIES--which again don't represent the average person in this country, so again other than observations what evidence do you have to back up your claim?
I've already said I don't have any evidence... Do you really think a study or survey have been done of all the black men out there who are affluent to ask if they married outside their race?
I'm not continuing to bring it up, I keep having to clarify what is a SIMPLE concept to a few posters who can't read/comprehend the English language.
I'm not talking about the "average" person either. Although if you want numbers, that blackdemographic website says that 7% of all married black males had white partners. Well, that probably coincides pretty well to the top 7% black male wage earners too.
Just a hunch. You'll have to ask them if you want to know for sure. Until then, I'll just keep counting all the baseball, football, basketball, golf players, actors, etc, that are married outside of their race.
Obviously not all affluent BM are marrying BW, but you don't have any solid proof that "what can be seen by virtually every black celebrity." is true other than what you see on TV or the internet.
You shouldn't be smiling. You have even less proof for your opinion. More a disconnect from reality than an opinion, at that.
I've already said I don't have any evidence... Do you really think a study or survey have been done of all the black men out there who are affluent to ask if they married outside their race?
I'm not continuing to bring it up, I keep having to clarify what is a SIMPLE concept to a few posters who can't read/comprehend the English language.
I'm not talking about the "average" person either. Although if you want numbers, that blackdemographic website says that 7% of all married black males had white partners. Well, that probably coincides pretty well to the top 7% black male wage earners too.
Just a hunch. You'll have to ask them if you want to know for sure. Until then, I'll just keep counting all the baseball, football, basketball, golf players, actors, etc, that are married outside of their race.
Which is why it's amusing that you're picking at posters because they don't have evidence that support that affluent BM marry BW over NON-BW...yet you don't either? Everything you've said has been observation and "hunch". So again, unless you have any evidence about AFFLUENT black men--that simple term that you've continued to harp on--then you really don't have much of an argument.
You've said nothing beyond what you've observed--with celebrities and a group of famous athletes at that.
I pointed out that my dad is in the top 5%, of earners in the USA, and he is a BM, and has BM friends that don't make as much but that do make over 100k and that I can tell you from PERSONAL experience as a black women raised in an UPPER MIDDLE CLASS black home that what you've suggested is not true. I can tell you that all the BLACK CEO's that my dad worked with in Chicago, Cincinnati and now in Philadelphia are married to Black women and have black children. I can tell you that ALL the black individuals I know in Jack and Jill of America--an organization consisting of black educated upper middle class blacks--are married to other blacks. But I suppose that your observations as a white man--that notices a sizeable portion of black male celebrities married to nonbw--holds more weight? Or perhaps you really do believe this to be the case and no matter who tells you differently, even a black person(and a black woman that has more to be angry about if this were the case than you) BUT I get that this is what you truly believe and so I'll let you believe it.
But let's be clear-what you and other posters have suggested, which is that BM prefer NONBW over BW has not been proven, so.... Well I don't know what else to say to you dude.
As a side note:
What do you get out of this anyway? What does it do for you to point out that BM prefer other races over their own?
It's strange. I mean I know that white men marry out a lot. I know that Asian women marry white men a lot. I've observed this, and numbers demonstrate that both of my observations are correct. Yet I don't care enough to assert that this means XYZ because I don't care what it means. I don't date white men and I'm not a lesbian so I don't care who Asian women prefer to date. I guess that's why this is strange to me. I don't get why this matters to you? Or is it really just that you have a white daughter and you don't want BM to date her? I really want to understand your investment in this.
Which is why it's amusing that you're picking at posters because they don't have evidence that support that affluent BM marry BW over NON-BW...yet you don't either? Everything you've said has been observation and "hunch". So again, unless you have any evidence about AFFLUENT black men--that simple term that you've continued to harp on--then you really don't have much of an argument.
You've said nothing above beyond what you've observed--from celebrities at that. Since I pointed out that my dad is in the top 5% of earners in the USA, and he is a BM, and has BM friends that don't make as much but that do make over 100k I can tell you from PERSONAL experience as a black women raised in an UPPER MIDDLE CLASS black home that what you've suggested is not true. I can tell you that all the BLACK CEO's that my dad worked with in Chicago, Cincinnati and now in Philadelphia are married to Black women and have black children. I can tell you that ALL the black individuals I know in Jack and Jill of America--an organization consisting of black educated upper middle class blacks--are married to other blacks. But I suppose that your observations as a white man that notices a sizeable portion of black male celebrities married to nonbw holds more weight?
In any case, at this point, let's be for real--what you and other posters have suggested, which is that BM prefer NONBW over BW can not be proven. It has not been proven. BM still marry BW more than NONBW.
What do you get out of this anyway? What does it do for you to point out that BM prefer other races over their own?
It's strange. I mean I know that white men marry out a lot. I know that Asian women marry white men a lot. I've observed and numbers demonstrate that both of my observations are correct and yet I don't care enough to assert that this means XYZ because I don't care what it means. I don't date white men and I'm not a lesbian so I don't care who Asian women prefer to date.
I guess that's why this is strange to me.
But carry on.
It just seems odd that the black guy targeted white fathers. Shouldn't fathers be concerned about their daughters' well being?
Although I can't state for certain that he only dates Interracially, it does seem as though this issue is very important to him, otherwise he wouldn't have felt the need to perform that angry rant. He wants people to know that he is upset. My question is, why must he date interracially?
Which is why it's amusing that you're picking at posters because they don't have evidence that support that affluent BM marry BW over NON-BW...yet you don't either? Everything you've said has been observation and "hunch". So again, unless you have any evidence about AFFLUENT black men--that simple term that you've continued to harp on--then you really don't have much of an argument.
You've said nothing beyond what you've observed--with celebrities and a group of famous athletes at that.
I pointed out that my dad is in the top 5%, of earners in the USA, and he is a BM, and has BM friends that don't make as much but that do make over 100k and that I can tell you from PERSONAL experience as a black women raised in an UPPER MIDDLE CLASS black home that what you've suggested is not true. I can tell you that all the BLACK CEO's that my dad worked with in Chicago, Cincinnati and now in Philadelphia are married to Black women and have black children. I can tell you that ALL the black individuals I know in Jack and Jill of America--an organization consisting of black educated upper middle class blacks--are married to other blacks. But I suppose that your observations as a white man--that notices a sizeable portion of black male celebrities married to nonbw--holds more weight? Or perhaps you really do believe this to be the case and no matter who tells you differently, even a black person(and a black woman that has more to be angry about if this were the case than you) BUT I get that this is what you truly believe and so I'll let you believe it.
But let's be clear-what you and other posters have suggested, which is that BM prefer NONBW over BW has not been proven, so.... Well I don't know what else to say to you dude.
As a side note:
What do you get out of this anyway? What does it do for you to point out that BM prefer other races over their own?
It's strange. I mean I know that white men marry out a lot. I know that Asian women marry white men a lot. I've observed this, and numbers demonstrate that both of my observations are correct. Yet I don't care enough to assert that this means XYZ because I don't care what it means. I don't date white men and I'm not a lesbian so I don't care who Asian women prefer to date. I guess that's why this is strange to me. I don't get why this matters to you? Or is it really just that you have a white daughter and you don't want BM to date her? I really want to understand your investment in this.
It just seems odd that the black guy targeted white fathers. Shouldn't fathers be concerned about their daughters' well being?
Although I can't state for certain that he only dates Interracially, it does seem as though this issue is very important to him, otherwise he wouldn't have felt the need to perform that angry rant. He wants people to know that he is upset. My question is, why must he date interracially?
I agree. And as I mentioned way earlier in this thread, I also couldn't help but feel this way as well.
I suspect this was to white fathers because he's dated a few white girls and the white fathers gave him a hard time. And I'm sure he has friends that have similar experiences, in fact in other threads this has been talked about by black men that date white women. It's still an issue in 2015. So I know WHY he wanted to talk about it, but like you the passion he felt about this, the need to create a poem about this, suggests that this is very important to him and like you I question that need. If race is irrelevant than rather than focusing on complicated white women and their fathers, he could easily date other races of women and have less complications BUT(and this is where I can understand where others where coming from) he specifically talks about white dads because I'm guessing that this is the group of women he dates the most. And the big question is why not just date other women and save yourself the trouble?
But white women might be his preference. *shrugs*
Now is this a problem to me personally? No.
But do I understand how this guys Slam poem about this topic specifically could be perceived as "foolish" and why he might be seen as a black man with some "self-hatred" issues?
I don't know if he has issues or not since I don't know him personally.
It wasn't until I moved out here to East Coast that I became aware of the subset of BM that prefer NONBW and want to validate their preferences by bashing BW. I've dated several BM like this, who dated me(a black woman) and it was clear that they were partial to white women, but when they would talk to me about it(and I never brought it up, they did) they always had crazy stereotypical reasons. This bothered me. I didn't care that they dated white women before me, but I didn't like how they bashed BW in order to validate why they dated white girls. It changed the way I looked at them as well, because despite suggesting that I'm the "exception" I still felt insulted and offended because at the end of the day I'm a black girl and I don't want to be collectively lumped in with any negative stereotype.
Now, none of these men mentioned having issues with WW parents not accepting them, so I'm assuming that if this were a big complication it wasn't big enough to stop it from happening. However honestly they just seemed more comfortable with white women. And again that didn't matter to me as much-the bashing did.
Prior to the East Coast I had dated BM that dated Nonbw(because this type seems to like me for some strange reason) but it wasn't as often as I have since living here on the East Coast. The majority of BM I dated in the midwest and in the south didn't really see the "hype" with white girls. Yes they date them, but it wasn't a huge deal, it wasn't special.
^^^^This makes up the majority of my experience with BM that dated out--yes they date out, but it isn't a big deal and at the end of the day they still show BW love.
And the underlined is the only problem I have with it--I don't care when or if a black man dates out but when he starts saying silly ish that is when I believe there is some deep self-hatred happening.
I dated a guy last year on and off who only dated white girls before me, but he was attracted to me and he liked me, and I liked him so despite the fact that I had dated men like him before and knew there might have been some *issues* lurking I dated him. There were times where out of humor he would compare me to white girls. One time he called me to stop at the liquor store and buy a bottle. And I asked him why he couldn't just get the bottle, since it was on his way(to our destination) He said, "see that's the problem with black chicks, yall trip about buying stuff. My white girls, when I ask them to buy a bottle, the only thing they ask is what kind? They don't care about the cost or about me buying it. but black girls blah blah" And that immediately let me know a few things about him, but really it exposed how silly he was. He wanted me to buy a bottle of liquor and I had no problem doing it, because I'm not petty like that, but the liquor store was closer to him than me, so it made no sense, and questioning it meant that I was a tripping gold-digger?
Or another guy I dated said he stayed out of the sun because he got as dark as midnight, and I was just like, "well I love chocolate men" and he smiled and said, "Good because if I have kids I could only have them with a girl that was light like you or else my kids would be too dark" or some silly stuff like that.
Or the many guys that have asked me "Are you mixed? You don't look like a black girl."
Or, "black girls have too much attitude and are ghetto, but you're not. You act just like a white girl, and that's why I can date you."
This is really the ONLY time I have issue with black men and their preference for other women--when it's based on ignorance.
However, thankfully, more often than not, I don't hear these types of things from the black men that I do date--even the ones that do date out.
It's interesting that this is something you hear frequently from the men in your family.
I have a black son--though he's light skinned with curly hair though and is a pretty boy with dimples(lol), he looks just like me--I'd be offended if he didn't find women attractive that look similar to him. Because he looks like me. He's cute because of me. If he dates out I don't care, but if he dates out because he doesn't like the way women that look like him look then that is problematic. He's not dark skinned, so I can't say that I'd be upset if he chose black women his complexion or chose black women darker than him, or lighter, but I can say that if he favored women that looked nothing like him I would want to at least understand why? Is it because he doesn't like how he looks or is it just the way he's wired, his environment, etc? I really try hard not to assume something without at least getting to know the person. I don't think all black men that date out do it out of ignorance(at least I hope not).
And really, I can't really speak too much on why some black men prefer women that aren't black but I know that these men aren't the majority. I do wish they'd stop with the silly youtube videos though.
Those 2 things are really contradictory. By your logic the people who said you don't look black" to them should not date you either since they don't think you "look like them" either
Why didn't you try dating the nerdy/quirky girls who were more like you?
Right? I've been rejected so many times by guys because I was too much of a "good" girl, does that mean I should go swearing off all guys? People come up with lame excuses for their habits.
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