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This is heartbreaking. But I just don't understand why he would kill himself. I was teased and bullied in school and it was horrible what I went through. But I never thought about killing myself
He killed himself because it was the only way left within his power to stop it. Everyone has a breaking point. They pushed him past his. They tortured him until the desire to escape far exceeded any desire to live.
May be harsh but I would probably pull their ear hard (don't Catholics do that anymore) or smack them upside the head. I have told a big kid that I would smack the crap out of them if they kept messing with my kid and my youngest knows that she has a crazy mom and no one better ever do anything to her. I don't play about my kids.
I just don't understand it really why parents today don't tell their kids to fight back. I was a very nerdy child, glasses, pimply faced from 10-16 and a book worm. I got bullied once and I kicked that girl's a$$ in class in front of everyone and got pegged "the crazy nerd" lol. I didn't get suspended because I was such a nerdy, smart kid and never had gotten into any trouble, plus everyone saw the girl hit me first so she was suspended an embarrassed for getting beat up by a nerd.
No one ever said or did anything to me again. I also made sure to take care of my other nerdy friends by protecting them.
We need to get out of this idea that everything for kids can be solved by talking it out or ignoring it. Ignoring problems never makes them go away. And if the school is not responding to these threats with immediate mediation of the kids involved, then my kid has my permission to beat that kid's a$$. My husband even thinks I'm nutso about this and "violent." He was horrendously bullied as a kid though and I have told him that if your mom and teachers hadn't told you to ignore it or run away, and to stand and fight (and get your cousins/relatives to help you fight) then he wouldn't have been bullied for so many years.
A lot of this if it were to happen to adults would be considered crimes. In school the victims are told to ignore it and it'll go away. Children in school have to endure beatings that wouldn't usually be tolerated by adults.
The parents knew exactly what was going on. They had been to the school to talk about it. The school sent social services to investigate them in retribution. The kid had his pinky broken by the bullies. The parents knew this was going on the whole time.
And they didn't remove their child from the school.
I'm sorry, but I blame the parents 100% for what happened. The parents should have pulled him long ago. That they didn't was completely negligent. They put him somewhere evil, and forced him to keep going back over and over again into the hands of his tormentors. Evil evil people.
Yes, it's what a lot of parents do to their children.
I wasn't just teased. I was frequently beaten. The teachers told me it was my fault and that I could stop it if I wanted to bad enough. The teachers said it happened because of my attitude. Never would say what they meant, instead told me I knew what they meant.
I was about 94 lbs. I was beaten by males. I'm female. I was threatened with rape on a regular basis. That would sometimes happen in front of teachers. I wrote up a paper saying what was happening, and they threatened to expel me for using foul language when I was quoting what they said to me.
During one beating one of them had wrapped a pipe in a jacket (to sneak it in I guess) and he hit me in the head with it while the school laughed. I had a concussion I think from it. I was very dizzy and was sick on my stomach. My mother refused to take me to the emergency room because she didn't want to pay a hospital bill.
People would always laugh about it. The principal would even sometimes see it and do nothing. When I'd try to talk to him about it, he would smile and talk about how I couldn't prove any of it enough for him to punish the students since all the students were saying nothing happened, even when I was obviously injured. The vice principal would watch. I still remember the sound of his keys. He carried around this huge key ring full of keys and when he'd watch me be beaten he would have the keys in his hand jingling them as he walked by watching.
My father had abandoned me when I was a child, and he didn't do anything for me. My mother never cared anything about me and the family insisted that it was my fault because I was too hard to get along with. I was subjected to a lot of abuse at home too, and they never thought I was worth anything anyway.
Happens to children every day in this country and no one ever does anything for them beyond talking about it when it's already too late for them.
When my own child was being bullied when she was little I told her it was okay to hit back and defend herself. (I had always been told I needed to ignore them to make them stop when I was young. Never worked.) It was happening at daycare. I picked her up one day and they informed me that she had beat up these two boys who were hurting her. I was very proud of her. I took her out to the movies and let her pick the cartoon playing as a reward. The daycare was mad that I wasn't punishing her. I didn't want her to end up like me. The two boys stayed far away from her after that and was scared of her. I liked that. They were teaching her that it meant the boys liked her and acted like she should be pleased about it.
My family was adamant that I was unfit for basically teaching her that she had the right to defend herself. Maybe I was, but it was better than what they did to me when I was growing up. Who are they to talk? I had no escape from constant abuse my entire childhood.
I don't know the facts of this story. It's very sad the boy committed suicide. I now have a daughter in Kindergarten, and my son is still in Pre-school.
I hate to hear stories like this; I am very protective of my children. If I hear of somebody bothering them, I will go to the school, speak with the administration, and confront the kids causing the problem. If I have to deal with the parents of the bully, so be it. If, I am arrested, so be it, I will protect my kids to the end, no matter what I have to do.
A lot of this if it were to happen to adults would be considered crimes. In school the victims are told to ignore it and it'll go away. Children in school have to endure beatings that wouldn't usually be tolerated by adults.
I agree in regards to the bold.
However, I do not believe that children endure a lot of beatings that wouldn't be tolerated by adults. I think maybe because I grew up in "the hood" and I have seen many adults jumped and beat up when I was a kid. That is why my dad taught me how to fight and that if anyone messed with me I needed to beat their a$$ and that if it was more than one person my brother and cousins were to help beat all their a$$es and if they didn't help he would beat their a$$es.
That basically is how it is in the hood. Even though I am not in that situation anymore, I think it has stuck with me and so I don't view bullying the same way it seems as the general public. My kids luckily have never had to deal with much teasing or bullying at all. My oldest had an issue in kindergarten where a boy in 2nd grade was teasing him and smacking him during an after school program. He complained to the program administrators. I also complained to the program administers. They still didn't do anything. So I told my son if the boy smacked him again to punch that boy as hard as he could in the stomach and try to make him throw up. While the boy was bent over to tell the boy he better leave him alone or he would do more than that the next day.
The boy left him alone and they became friends a few months later.
The other one with him involved a boy stealing from my son, a neighbor of ours and pushing him down and taking his toys on more than one occassion. I saw the boy doing it when I was looking out the window watching my kid. I went down and pushed the kid down, asked him how he liked getting pushed down and took the toy back and told him he better leave my kid alone or I was going to do more than push him. He said he would "tell" on me. I told him to go ahead and I'd "tell" on him too and still get him. He left my kid alone after that.
Luckily those have been the only issues either of my kids has had with bullying. My youngest has never had any issues at school. My son knows that if anyone messes with his little sister he better take up for her or he will be in trouble. My daughter knows she is well protected. We have a large family and we are the few girls in the family (just me, her and my baby niece). We have a lot of male protection and they are similar to me in attitude and we don't play stuff like that.
I was harrassed at one of my jobs, a man cursed me out for about an hour in a meeting and I was shaking about it and told one of my brothers and he was about to go bust all the windows out of the guys house, had googled him and found his address lol. My family is not in the hood anymore but we just don't take a lot of crap. I convinced my brother not to bust out all the windows of that guy's house because I was leaving the job anyway so it didn't matter.
This is an example, for those of you who feel the school should do something....
My son, and many other students were being bullied, and beat up by this creepy red haired kid, who used to steal their lunch money. It upset my son....to the point that he became on edge and very angry at home.
When I asked him about it, he told me. So, I called the school. the kid apparently had flunked 3 times and was bigger then all the other kids. the school told me, they had contacted his parents several times, and all the parents did was swear and scream at whomever was calling them from the school, so you can guess why the kid was like he was.
So, I taught my kid to fight and where to hit the kid...right square in the nose. And he did, and the kid never bothered him again....however, my point is....
THE school shouldn't have to worry about this kind of thing....they are there to teach....
It's the parents fault if the kid is a bully, he had to learn that behavior somewhere, didn't he/she?
When I see how people in just this forum come into threads and call others names, b/c they disagree with an opinion, it is not difficult to understand why there are so many bullies in school today.
There is so much hate generating from people today, it's incredible...and that filters down to the kids....
So, don't blame the school for this, blame the kids and the parents of those kids.
I know several teachers, and boy the stories they tell me about parents are unbelievable. Not my Johnny, he's a good kid, and is never in trouble. HAH!!!!
I tell this story all the time....but, there was a big birthday party at Chuckie Cheese for this kid, and the mothers all got into a fight, and they were punching each other, literally physically beating each other up in front of their kids.... what the hell? And people wonder why kids are bullys?
This is an example, for those of you who feel the school should do something....
My son, and many other students were being bullied, and beat up by this creepy red haired kid, who used to steal their lunch money. It upset my son....to the point that he became on edge and very angry at home.
When I asked him about it, he told me. So, I called the school. the kid apparently had flunked 3 times and was bigger then all the other kids. the school told me, they had contacted his parents several times, and all the parents did was swear and scream at whomever was calling them from the school, so you can guess why the kid was like he was.
So, I taught my kid to fight and where to hit the kid...right square in the nose. And he did, and the kid never bothered him again....however, my point is....
THE school shouldn't have to worry about this kind of thing....they are there to teach....
It's the parents fault if the kid is a bully, he had to learn that behavior somewhere, didn't he/she?
When I see how people in just this forum come into threads and call others names, b/c they disagree with an opinion, it is not difficult to understand why there are so many bullies in school today.
There is so much hate generating from people today, it's incredible...and that filters down to the kids....
So, don't blame the school for this, blame the kids and the parents of those kids.
I know several teachers, and boy the stories they tell me about parents are unbelievable. Not my Johnny, he's a good kid, and is never in trouble. HAH!!!!
I tell this story all the time....but, there was a big birthday party at Chuckie Cheese for this kid, and the mothers all got into a fight, and they were punching each other, literally physically beating each other up in front of their kids.... what the hell? And people wonder why kids are bullys?
A lot of parents, shouldn't even be parents....
On the bold, we may not agree on a lot but I agree with you that usually these sorts of bullies come from families that condone and even support their kid being a bully.
Also, I don't think it should be the school's fault entirely, but I do think they should suspend/expel students who do not respond to mediation and who continue to hurt other kids.
Like in your son's experience, I would demand that the school suspend that child for at least a week or more and this actually reminded me of a situation again with my son where a girl in his kindergarten class got mad at him and tried to stab him in the eye with a pencil. It was not a bully situation but was very extreme IMO and even my husband, who is the calm one amongst us in these situations went on a tirade up at the school because they weren't going to do anything to discipline the girl who broke the skin of our son right under his eye. It it have been 1/4 an inch higher, she would have severely damaged his eye. We got that little girl suspended for 2 weeks. Her mom apologized to us and our son. We made a huge deal about it and I think often that many of the good parents just don't make as big of a deal as we did and especially not my husband who didn't leave the office until he met with the principal and told her flat out that if she didn't suspend that child that he was going to call the media and sue them.
I think for this poor 13 year old, that the school could have had more severe discipline but honestly, I also agree with you that many times the schools have to deal with a lot of crazy parents.
A large amount of my family are in education (paras, teachers, administrators/principals) and they also say that the parents of the bad kids are many times worst than the kids themselves.
It is sad all around but we have to make sure to teach our kids to protect themselves and that we will protect them to the greatest extent possible in a bully situation.
I do feel that bullies are often the product of lousy parents and a kid's lack of empathy. The parents should bear some responsibility. With that said, the school should also be held responsible. Order is suppose to be maintained in a school. Students should not have to worry about being assaulted in school. If the school is being lenient on the bullies, there is a problem. Schools are suppose to be centers of education, places to prepare children learn things, prepare themselves for college and the workforce. If the parents fail to teach their kids right, and those kids are bullies at school, the school should kick those kids out. All it takes is one bad kid to disrupt a class. A few more and a school has problems. Truth is, schools are starting to function like glorified holding cells.
To the anonymous wimp who dug up a 2 1/2- year-old thread, and repped me with a diatribe against the Catholic church: Stop marinating in negativity. It's a vexation to the spirit.
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