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Old 09-12-2016, 07:37 AM
 
Location: Georgia
1,202 posts, read 638,861 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by odanny View Post
Lol...
You are on a roll with the 2 and 3 word replies eh....Being from Illinois you MUST have something brilliant to add.

 
Old 09-12-2016, 07:40 AM
 
16,212 posts, read 10,778,077 times
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Will also note that there was a book called "Nurture Shock" that has a chapter on this subject in regards to speaking with young children about race. Here is an article about that book and the studies it cites. From the article:

Quote:
Research by Frances Aboud and Anna Doyle in 1996 showed that being able to talk about race (and racism!) actually leads to less prejudice in children. Other research by Michelle Lease and Jamilia Blake in 2005 found that the more friends of different ethnicities a child had, the more socially skilled the child was. Together, this work suggests that by providing our kids with the tools to understand and talk about race, we help our kids grow, rather than perpetuate a cycle of discomfort and intolerance of difference. So talk to your child about race, and unveil the shroud of secrecy and confusion from this topic. Within these conversations lies an important gift for your child.
There are many white parents who took this adivce to heart and that is a good thing IMO.

Those, like the OP who think that tolerance is weakness IMO live in a la-la land whereas our country is increasingly multi-cultural and multi-racial.

If kids have any career goals in the future, they will have to interact with people of other ethnicities for the most part and is is illogical to assume that one can remain in an homogenous white community/society forever. And FWIW, I say the same things to black people who have similar views to Misanthorpe - they want to fully segregate from all non-black people. Even if you do only surround yourself with one group, kids going to school with other kids in the same group will have different experiences and discussions about race. Most white people in America are not openly racist or prejudiced and they don't teach their kids not to associate with other people based on race. So your kids, you teaching them this, is setting them up for a disadvantage in our society and setting them up for ridicule if they go to school especially.
 
Old 09-12-2016, 07:41 AM
 
Location: Georgia
1,202 posts, read 638,861 times
Reputation: 309
Quote:
Originally Posted by residinghere2007 View Post
Will also note that there was a book called "Nurture Shock" that has a chapter on this subject in regards to speaking with young children about race. Here is an article about that book and the studies it cites. From the article:



There are many white parents who took this adivce to heart and that is a good thing IMO.

Those, like the OP who think that tolerance is weakness IMO live in a la-la land whereas our country is increasingly multi-cultural and multi-racial.

If kids have any career goals in the future, they will have to interact with people of other ethnicities for the most part and is is illogical to assume that one can remain in an homogenous white community/society forever. And FWIW, I say the same things to black people who have similar views to Misanthorpe - they want to fully segregate from all non-black people. Even if you do only surround yourself with one group, kids going to school with other kids in the same group will have different experiences and discussions about race. Most white people in America are not openly racist or prejudiced and they don't teach their kids not to associate with other people based on race. So your kids, you teaching them this, is setting them up for a disadvantage in our society and setting them up for ridicule if they go to school especially.
Oh my kids know all about race and racial differences etc. Not going to hide that from my kids. The sooner they know the better. The town we are moving to is not 100% white I would say 90% or so there are some Mexicans etc. I know my kids will have to deal with nonwhites in business and careers etc doesn't mean they should tolerant that means those nonwhites will be given special attention and affirmative action etc so my kids will have to try even harder to to get to where they want to be. Be ruthless and hungrier than those around you. Like I said earlier because of their race my kids and all white kids will be forced to work harder to get the same things nonwhites are GIVEN. Oh and hopefully this country will collapse and we won't have to worry about it being less white etc. Especially if Trump gets elected closes the damn border and reverses the horrible 1965 immigration law and goes back to making America the way it was where Europeans from around the world assimilated into AMERICA.
 
Old 09-12-2016, 07:46 AM
 
Location: Boston, MA
14,465 posts, read 11,238,397 times
Reputation: 8980
Bad parenting is the cause of an unlevel playing field for children. Good parenting is what causes privilege for children.
 
Old 09-12-2016, 07:49 AM
 
Location: Boston, MA
14,465 posts, read 11,238,397 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dark Enlightenment View Post
This woman actually thinks in terms of sacrificing her children for the cause. That's some pretty extreme white liberal virtue signalling. There seems to be no limit in how far people will go with this kind of thing.
Her children will grow up feeling guilty about who they are. Then they'll form their own opinions and recognize how whacko their mother was.
 
Old 09-12-2016, 07:49 AM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
39,029 posts, read 27,438,416 times
Reputation: 15945
Quote:
Originally Posted by residinghere2007 View Post
Ironically, the bold is what I got from the overly PC Huff article.

The mother wants to raise her white children to succeed and be knowledgeable about other people's cultures and realities in our society.

Not sure what is so wrong with that but, eh...I know a lot of Americans don't like to "acknowledge race."

IMO race should be acknowledged and not ignored. Whenever I hear/see people interact with young children and act like "color doesn't matter" that means that they are teaching those children to ignore what happens to people of different ethnic backgrounds. Color/ethnicity does matter in our society and children will see it and if you don't want your children to grow up and hate or mistrust or not associate with other groups of people (the OP evidently doesn't want his kids to associate with anyone who isn't white so he/she is teaching them to be prejudiced and that is fine for him, hopefully they'll grow up and grow out of the sickness of bigotry when they are older).

Studies show that it is better to talk to children when they are young about color and race. They also show that white parents are the least likely to do this and due to books/articles having been written about this subject, those white parents who do not want their children growing up associating people of different ethnic backgrounds in an innocently negative way, they introduce these discussions very early in the lives of their children. IMO it is similar to how I, as a parent (I am a black parent BTW) make sure that I have very early discussions about sex, gender, and sexuality with my own kids. I don't want them to go out in the world and pick up bad information about sex in particular from other kids, so I make sure they know about body parts, what sex is, how babies are made, about STDs, etc. My kids know all this by age 7! It is done purposefully and IMO many white parents are making a concerted effort to do this with their children about race in America.

That said, my kids, due to being black, we have had many conversations about race and ethnicity in America. I also make sure to address people of varying abilities in these conversations, so when we are out in public if my kid sees someone who has been severely burned, they will not react in a shocking way for example. I have told them of a friend of my dad's who was burned severely over 90% of his body during a house fire where he ran back inside as a young boy (he was 11) and he was burned while saving his baby sister's lives. I told them about this when they were 2 or 3. Both of my kids have now seen someone who was burned on their face and they always ask/say something about how that person was probably a hero instead of framing them as a monster. The way we communicate to our kids is important. Telling them about race in an innocent, simple way, does not take away their innocence. Ironically, I have had to combat in my children black racism against white people. I have older relatives who mention very stereotypical things about white people to my children or they overheard conversations. I make sure to speak to the kids about what they hear. I ask them what they think. We think of people we know who are white who are not whatever negative thing that a relative said. And we talk about how people are the same on the inside from a biological perspective with heart and lungs and brains, etc. It does not have to be a negative, uncomfortable thing and doesn't even have to be one long conversation. It is a series of short conversations during childhood.
Interesting.

well,

There is no escape from the racial conflicts with which children must cope...avoiding the problem isn't helpful. Too much parental protection from life's realities may hamper a child's later ability to cope with life as it is. So yes, I agree with you, race needs to be taught to kids at an early age.

Like I posted earlier, I sometimes took my two nephews to feed the homeless veterans. One of my little guys had been bullied by a homeless civilian who pretend to be a vet. He then noticed race and color is all he talked about for couple of month, then he got over it. I tried to teach him he was bullied, being yelled at, and his ice cream had been taken away from him not because he is "white", it is because the person was sick and mentally ill. (because that is exactly what it is.) And not everybody in that group is like that. The reason I am teaching him that is because next time, when he sees a person who appears to be "mentally not all there",(I don't care what race that person is) hopefully, he can avoid the situation. To expect a little six year old to fight off adult mentally sick person is just not realistic.

I think kids should be raised as a well rounded person. I lived a very sheltered life, so I am not very "street" smart. My best friend Mike, a very tough white guy who is very street smart, but he is not PC at all, and I don't think life has been treating him very well either. LOL Many people say he reminds them of Grand Dragon of Mississippi. He is an incredibly nice guy though, he is a very tough guy due to what he has seen and what he has experienced. There are certain people he just won't trust, it is what it is.

I think all b.s. aside, In the 21st century, the ability to communicate and work with people from different racial and ethnic groups will be as essential as computer skills.

By speaking openly about similarities and differences between people, we can raise children whose lives are not constricted by fear. In my opinion.

Last edited by lilyflower3191981; 09-12-2016 at 08:00 AM..
 
Old 09-12-2016, 07:58 AM
 
Location: Boston, MA
14,465 posts, read 11,238,397 times
Reputation: 8980
Quote:
Originally Posted by Misanthrope83 View Post
Oh but to her they would deserve it for having white privilege!

My 18 month old wouldn't allow the non white that was here yesterday hold her. My niece came over with her boyfriend and some girl she knows had her non white BF with her and my 18 month old REFUSED to let him hold her. Kids DO notice race! I know mine do and I have done nothing to discourage it either. Its called NATURE.


Race is FAR more than skin color...
I'm not going to presume anything about your toddler but none of my nieces would let me hold them when they were babies. As their uncle, who they should have been fairly familiar with, it was annoying and kind of heartbreaking. Of course it could have been because I was too damned handsome.

Point being, don't assume you know why your baby is refusing to be held by someone.
 
Old 09-12-2016, 08:03 AM
 
Location: Boston, MA
14,465 posts, read 11,238,397 times
Reputation: 8980
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981 View Post
Any women of any race who have the chance with somebody like Denzel Washington would be people who "date up."
The Training Day Denzel or the Equalizer Denzel?
 
Old 09-12-2016, 08:12 AM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
39,029 posts, read 27,438,416 times
Reputation: 15945
babies notice the differences.

according to this article,

It starts early. In experiments, 3-month-old infants have shown preferences for looking at members of their own race–perhaps because these faces were the most similar to the faces they see at home.

And when researchers have shown 9-month-olds the faces of different individuals, babies could distinguish members of their own race but had trouble telling apart individuals of another race.

So babies notice racial differences. Do babies harbor negative attitudes towards other races?

It doesn’t seem likely. In several interesting experiments, Katherine Kinzler and Elizabeth Spelke have tested the social preferences of American babies and toddlers. One study presented 10-month-old babies with unfamiliar adults who offered toys. The babies seemed happy to take the toys regardless of the adult’s race.

Another study gave 2.5-year-old children opportunities to give toys to someone else. Again, race wasn’t an issue. The kids gave toys to people of different races and showed no preferences.

But at some point, kids do show racial and ethnic social preferences.


What babies & young kids know about race | BabyCenter Blog

So it is human nature for people to feel more comfortable with something or someone they are familiar with.

I don't think it is wrong for parents to want their children to date or marry people from their own racial group. After all, dating is more than just sharing a bread. So yes, I can understand it.
 
Old 09-12-2016, 08:13 AM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
39,029 posts, read 27,438,416 times
Reputation: 15945
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Joshua View Post
The Training Day Denzel or the Equalizer Denzel?
John Q Denzel perhaps.
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