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I didn't say you were. I was commenting to your bizarre suggestion
This is true
Im not sure why you find my comment bizarre. You said you didn't need a female cop to respond if you were being attacked and I responded make sure you tell dispatch that if you call for a cop.
Im wondering why you didnt respond to my actual question.
When I say "take over" communal chores I mean she has to maintain a level of self-sufficiency that doesn't require me to do more than I would if we weren't living together.
Example:
I scrub toilets, dust and mop the bathroom. That doesn't mean you throw wet towels all over the floor like a rock star because I'm in charge of cleaning.
And there's no problem with that.
Cooking:
I'm a great cook. If I'm going to eat the meal I have to cook it. Unless I'm in a giving mood I'm not cooking for just her if I'm not eating. And I rarely ever just make the meal for her.
If you can't enter and exit a relationship without having to rearrange your daily habits you probably need to work on yourself.
When I say "take over" communal chores I mean she has to maintain a level of self-sufficiency that doesn't require me to do more than I would if we weren't living together.
Example:
I scrub toilets, dust and mop the bathroom. That doesn't mean you throw wet towels all over the floor like a rock star because I'm in charge of cleaning.
And there's no problem with that.
Cooking:
I'm a great cook. If I'm going to eat the meal I have to cook it. Unless I'm in a giving mood I'm not cooking for just her if I'm not eating. And I rarely ever just make the meal for her.
If you can't enter and exit a relationship without having to rearrange your daily habits you probably need to work on yourself.
That sounds quite reasonable.
I have found a lot of men I have dated/married/lived with (or them with me), and I hear this from other women also, somehow seem to forget how to scrub toilets, dust and mop like they did when they were alone. And they get this idea that there are magic fairies that will pick up wet towels off the floor. LOL.
And so I have never been able to maintain a long term relationship and am now alone.
You are absolutely right this is something a person needs to work on to improve themselves.
Not a fan but hey we are all free to express ourselves as we wish. I don't care for tats either or seeing thongs an inch above their pants. But if one desire tolerance for oneself one must first be tolerant of others.
Um uh ....I was just trying to lighten up the conversation.
I have. He does way more than he used to. But socially, due to him being reared in a society where housework and chores are "women's" work, he is not apt to just jump in and do what needs to be done. I have to re-train him to do it and it is another of my jobs and can be a source of stress and a distraction from my career. This is the case for a lot of my female associates as well. When we look to "renegotiate" many men view it as being a b**ch or of trying to "control" them or that we are "nagging."
FWIW none of my brothers were raised to believe that there is a such thing as "women's work" as our mom was primarily a single mother and they did all the household chores when we were kids and my older brother in particular along with myself were involved in the childcare of our younger brothers who are 10-11 younger than I am. However, all of them today do not do any house work. They think that their women should do it even though all of them have women who work. IMO it is more of a male issue. I also am hesitant to divorce my husband just based on him not being active in household chores. Too many people today IMO divorce over issues that aren't vital to the relationship. My renegotiation with my husband was specific to him - I no longer do any chores for him (laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, etc unless I'm making a big batch of something). I also don't do my kid's laundry either or clean up after them and I make sure they do chores to keep our house clean. But other things that he could do and that they need done by an adult, I just have to do because I don't want them to lack in the support they need.
But this issue is one that does need to be talked about by feminist IMO. More men actually are involved in housework and childcare versus the 1980s in particular. So evidently the activism and speaking about this issue by feminists is something that has worked. Keeping it in the forefront IMO is important as I do believe that women accepting that they will shoulder the brunt of household chores/childcare is the primary reason why the gender pay gap exists. Also women thinking they shouldn't be too "b*tchy" at work by speaking up or negotiating more firmly their salary are issues that women need to work on.
Feminism is supposedly about women having the same rights as men.
For that to be a valid point / issue, all of the following would have to be true :
* Men have rights which women don't have
* Those rights are rights which women rightfully ought to have
* The number / weight of those rights added up would have to be significantly greater than that of rights which women have which men don't have which men rightfully ought to have
But all of those things are not true.
Or are they? I've never heard a convincing argument that they are.
Women are equally deserving of rights as men, but women are not equal to men.
This is where the problems stem.
Some people are so literally stupid they think women are part for part, atom for atom equal to men. This is not reality, this is not reasonable, this is stupidity and this is where all the problems stem from this issue.
Feminists... who do not recognize these facts are just stupid activists making trouble.
That sounds quite reasonable.
I have found a lot of men I have dated/married/lived with (or them with me), and I hear this from other women also, somehow seem to forget how to scrub toilets, dust and mop like they did when they were alone. And they get this idea that there are magic fairies that will pick up wet towels off the floor. LOL.
And so I have never been able to maintain a long term relationship and am now alone.
You are absolutely right this is something a person needs to work on to improve themselves.
On the bold, this is the truth. My husband, before we married, did used to clean up without having to be told. I love my MIL and she was also a single mom of 2 sons and both her sons did chores and she taught them to take care of the house.
Neither of them do those things now. Many men believe that women are magic clean up fairies for some reason.
They also are very clueless about kids sometimes and things that need to get done with kids, like making sure they go to bed at a certain time. Making sure the kid gets showered or eats when mom is not home, etc. It is like they lose their common sense and it is frustrating for women to deal with and many women do not take on more responsibilities at work because they have too much stuff going on at home to deal with and don't want to take on too much.
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