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First of all, I see some people attacking the OP for not having a degree or a decent job. I don't see anything indicating that's the case. And his comment about the instability of the job market is valid. People get downsized all the time; the old days starting with a company and staying there until your retirement party, complete with gold watch, are gone, for most people.
He is correct that it is difficult for many, perhaps most, people to support a family on a single wage. I don't know how minimum wage workers do it.
On the other hand...if it's a traditional family you want, with kids and a stay-at-home mom, you are shedding some expenses you wouldn't otherwise have to worry about. Child care. A second professional wardrobe. Perhaps even the cost of another car, if public transport is decent in your locale (and no, it would not be your wife taking the bus. She needs the car to take the kiddies to school and pick up the groceries.)
The impulse to keep up with the Joneses is nothing new, but it certainly has become more difficult to accomplish. Here's a thought for you: don't bother. Stuff is not what makes you happy. Not the biggest house, or the newest car, or a new iPhone every time one comes out. Houses in the 50s were smaller, simpler, and easier to keep up, and guess what? They were good enough.
You can't bring back the 50s, and thank God for that. They were not such happy times for a lot of people. But if you find a like-minded woman (one you love enough to be more worried about losing her than losing your money, in the case of divorce), and rethink your priorities about *things*, you probably can have the traditional family you are seeking.
Your wife will have to have a good job, work full time, and have the kids in day care. Two breadwinners. 50's? I suppose you never heard of extended family living together back in those days? Those TV shows from the 50's never showed this. More like the Waltons than the Cleavers.
After my parents married, they moved into Grandma's apartment with her. Great-Grandma also lived there. My Mom worked full time for a while and Grandma babysat me (free).
We may be going back to that 50's living arrangements, which many of you in your 20's never heard about. You, your wife, and kids cannot live that 50's "dream", but neither can Grandpa and Grandpa. The Generations all live together and pool their resources.
I would love to have a 1950s-style life where I could work 9:00-to-5:00 at the same job and pay for a house, wife and kids, along with putting some retirement money aside that appreciate steadily. The problem is that it seems like a combination of government policies and economic factors have made this impossible. I am going to end up as an apartment-dwelling single man in his 40s and beyond. Very depressing.
Houses have become unaffordable for anyone who lives where good jobs are created. It's not just in the cities, but also in the surrounding suburbs.
The job market is such that no one stays at the same company for more than 5 years, usually less. Therefore it would be foolish to buy a house even if you could afford one, because you'll have to move in a couple years. Houses have basically become speculative investments. That, or people buy them because rents are skyrocketing and they think that owning is cheaper than renting (common misconception).
One man's income is not enough to support a wife and kids anymore, unless, possibly, if he's in the top 10% of income earners, and then the women who live around him are too focused on their careers to want to have kids, because the job market has become so competitive that if you take a year or more off work then you'll never get another job because you now have a "gap" on your resume.
Marriage has become to financially risky. Who would enter an agreement where there's a >50% chance of losing 50% of your net worth? And with the advent of Facebook, it seems like the pressure to have expensive, photogenic weddings has taken "keeping up with the Joneses" to a new level.
The stock market has become a casino. Conservative investments don't make enough returns to beat inflation (I don't believe the government's numbers that say the cost of living is rising at only 1-2% per year.). Plus, the financial markets have become so complicated that the average investor gets screwed by having no real idea of what he's doing. I bet you that 99% of Americans couldn't describe the different between an IRA and and a 401k.
Yea, what an amazing "society" we've created.
"As an American in his 20'
Come in 20 years when you have 'grownup" and maturated.
In 1, you say buying a house is too expensive, but then in 2 you claim renting is better anyway. So you already solved 2 out of your 5 "issues".
I call BS on 3. Given that most women now work and many have kids, those are not mutually exclusive. If you're only meeting women who either expect to stay home or refuse to have kids, you need to figure out where to meet the majority not the minority.
4 is laughable. You don't lose 50% of YOUR next worth if you divorce. You split a joint 100% with your ex. Unless you don't believe women should have ownership of something they help create, that's perfectly fair.
You're not wrong that there are a LOT of financially illiterate people. Don't be one of them and you won't have to worry about 5.
As a man it's not very common to lose 100% of your net worth in divorce PLUS 100% of your future net worth. This is a serious risk.... I think it's laughable that you would call this concern laughable.
I would love to have a 1950s-style life where I could work 9:00-to-5:00 at the same job and pay for a house, wife and kids, along with putting some retirement money aside that appreciate steadily. The problem is that it seems like a combination of government policies and economic factors have made this impossible. I am going to end up as an apartment-dwelling single man in his 40s and beyond. Very depressing.
Houses have become unaffordable for anyone who lives where good jobs are created. It's not just in the cities, but also in the surrounding suburbs.
The job market is such that no one stays at the same company for more than 5 years, usually less. Therefore it would be foolish to buy a house even if you could afford one, because you'll have to move in a couple years. Houses have basically become speculative investments. That, or people buy them because rents are skyrocketing and they think that owning is cheaper than renting (common misconception).
One man's income is not enough to support a wife and kids anymore, unless, possibly, if he's in the top 10% of income earners, and then the women who live around him are too focused on their careers to want to have kids, because the job market has become so competitive that if you take a year or more off work then you'll never get another job because you now have a "gap" on your resume.
Marriage has become to financially risky. Who would enter an agreement where there's a >50% chance of losing 50% of your net worth? And with the advent of Facebook, it seems like the pressure to have expensive, photogenic weddings has taken "keeping up with the Joneses" to a new level.
The stock market has become a casino. Conservative investments don't make enough returns to beat inflation (I don't believe the government's numbers that say the cost of living is rising at only 1-2% per year.). Plus, the financial markets have become so complicated that the average investor gets screwed by having no real idea of what he's doing. I bet you that 99% of Americans couldn't describe the different between an IRA and and a 401k.
Yea, what an amazing "society" we've created.
Let's not forget the fact that even before you get to any of that, you will probably be in debt up to your eyeballs from college expenses. It is getting crazy expensive to afford an education compared to years long past. Technical colleges are becoming more popular as a result, where you simply learn a skill and get a job with it.
^^ Don't dismiss this advice without thinking about it deeply ^^
I didn't even go back to college to START for a degree in engineering until I was 25, and graduated at almost 30. Even with the late start, it turned out to be a fantastic career move. Now, many, many years later, I turned down a job in Sunnyvale at $$$$$ for a job in Michigan for $$, but ended up more than happy. I chose life over $, and am thankful every single day. Don't limit yourself to high COL areas; you might be surprised how pleasant life becomes when you can afford living.
The perfect two child family in the 50s-60s living in a two story colonial house, mom wearing pearls to cook dinner, dad reading the paper in a suit and tie, the upper middle class life projected on Leave it to Beaver, was always a fantasy. I knew no one who lived like the Cleaver's and we were solid middle class.
Perhaps the poster needs to talk to some real people about the reality of that era.
Just one more comment about reality. Marriage is the best way to build wealth. That fact is well proven and easily researched.
I would love to have a 1950s-style life where I could work 9:00-to-5:00 at the same job and pay for a house, wife and kids, along with putting some retirement money aside that appreciate steadily. The problem is that it seems like a combination of government policies and economic factors have made this impossible. I am going to end up as an apartment-dwelling single man in his 40s and beyond. Very depressing.
Houses have become unaffordable for anyone who lives where good jobs are created. It's not just in the cities, but also in the surrounding suburbs.
The job market is such that no one stays at the same company for more than 5 years, usually less. Therefore it would be foolish to buy a house even if you could afford one, because you'll have to move in a couple years. Houses have basically become speculative investments. That, or people buy them because rents are skyrocketing and they think that owning is cheaper than renting (common misconception).
One man's income is not enough to support a wife and kids anymore, unless, possibly, if he's in the top 10% of income earners, and then the women who live around him are too focused on their careers to want to have kids, because the job market has become so competitive that if you take a year or more off work then you'll never get another job because you now have a "gap" on your resume.
Marriage has become to financially risky. Who would enter an agreement where there's a >50% chance of losing 50% of your net worth? And with the advent of Facebook, it seems like the pressure to have expensive, photogenic weddings has taken "keeping up with the Joneses" to a new level.
The stock market has become a casino. Conservative investments don't make enough returns to beat inflation (I don't believe the government's numbers that say the cost of living is rising at only 1-2% per year.). Plus, the financial markets have become so complicated that the average investor gets screwed by having no real idea of what he's doing. I bet you that 99% of Americans couldn't describe the different between an IRA and and a 401k.
Yea, what an amazing "society" we've created.
Dude, I've totally wished the same thing. The 50's would have been sweet!
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