Let's talk about catcalling. (compared, vs, permit, work)

[PedroMartinez]

Originally Posted by Timmyy

I will put a ballpark percentage, just my opinion. 95% of men would love this.

Men don't have nearly the concern of sexual assault.

I'm thinking that if any man thinking it were no big deal ended up in prison, they might understand how cat calls are a bit disturbing if they were the target of the calls.

[Aery11]

The last thing I am is a classic feminist. I don't want to be associated with that term ever - as I find 'it' demeaning.


However, I do have something to say about this sort of male behaviour and how it affected me when I was about 12 years old - and from that point on, even today. I developed earlier than a lot of my friends and to be honest, I hated it, especially since it was soon obvious I was not going to be small busted. I lived in a town with a fair bit of construction going on and I walked everywhere so there was no way to avoid going past the guys working there. I got 'cat-called' a lot .. and I was just a kid.


It didn't scare me but it sure as heck did affect me for the rest of my life - it did a lot to destroy my self-esteem and make me want to hide my bust. It made me feel as though I was worth nothing except if I was 'sexy' to men on the streets. Perhaps it should not have affected me like that but as I said, I was at a very impressionable age and they made me feel like a ****. (One small note there: I honestly do not normally put the blame on anyone else for what I am 'feeling' but I was just a kid as I said and that kind of reasoning was not yet as well developed as apparently the upper half of my torso was.) It got so bad that I would no longer wear anything but larger shirts that would cover me up and I hunched my shoulders a bit as I walked past the construction sites.


I didn't realize it at the time but I am pretty certain those early experiences affected my body image for the rest of my life (I am now 67 and I know they still do to this day). In later years I have always been self-conscious about my bust and if a man seems fixated on it, I feel degraded, not admired. I spent my life secretly wishing for a breast reduction and if I examined why, it always went back to those first exposures to that kind of crude behaviour when I was only 12, not to any real medical reason why I needed to have that done.


I wanted attention for other things ... for who I really was underneath the exterior, not for something I could not control on the outside. Their actions left me feeling like a bimbo and that was not who I wanted to be, nor was it through any fault of my own - I did not flaunt it, I did not seek that kind of attention. Perhaps they did me a favour actually because I think I chased the right things in life because of all that too .. but it was a hard lesson to learn for a youngster and it did leave some undesirable residual effects.


Guys .. if you do it to very young girls .. please don't any more. Some of them may like it but most of us probably won't but we also won't know what to do about it either and you can't know what harm you might be doing while you think you are just having a little fun.

[OpinionInOcala]

I think there's a psychological component instituted by decades - if not centuries - of societal norms to keep in mind as well. Men traditionally express their initial desire to be involved with a woman verbally, because using body language may be considered unduly forceful. Women, on the other hand, tend to express their initial desire to be involved with a man via subtle body language, because traditionally, verbalizing such desires has run the risk of being viewed as promiscuous. People need to be intellectually consistent and honest in addition to being respectful.

I don't support the idea that yelling, whistling, or honking at other people is an endearing quality. At the same time, I think the reaction to a spoken compliment should be evaluated on a situational basis with emphasis on word choice -- and to an extent, body language: Saying "you're pretty" in passing is considerably more benign than complimenting specific body parts, a'la "dat ass, tho, girl."

Just something to keep in mind. Some people need to quit being unnecessarily up tight, though, some people need to quit being pigs as well. It goes back to what I said earlier: Intellectual consistency and honesty coupled with a presumed expectation of respect. When both virtues are observed, the undesirables will surely reveal and weed themselves out quickly.

[No_Recess]

Originally Posted by Magritte25

I really think women should start catcalling to men so they know how it feels. It feels like you are a piece of meat and it feels like a violation of your personal space and the right to walk down a street without hearing lewd remarks.

It is not minor.

Women viewing me as a piece of meat?

Oh the horror.

[wildflower82]

Originally Posted by skepticratic

Yeah, ****ing feminism telling women they're worth extends beyond physical appearance. What an absurd ideal...

Oh yeah, unless, its someone they don't like than appearance is everything......don't act as if feminist don't make fun of others, they're actually really good at it!

[wanderlust76]

Originally Posted by FKD19124

there was a time when men whistled or complimented good looking women that they were flattered.
Feminism destroyed that.

I think it's a thing low class men do now. It used to have a more innocent tone to it now when men do it it's automatically taken as sexual and perverted due to how men changed over the years and started expecting sex on the first date and everything. So all in all I think it's one of those things men screwed up for themselves over the years.

[RedZin]

Originally Posted by scend57

I've seen this video before, it is QUITE old actually (more than 3 years). Basically the video is scripted/fake if I recall correctly. It is not legit at all, but I guess people have short memories

As to the thread topic.....

Everyone knows women LOVE attention, hence why they dress the part or shamelessly post selfies of themselves all over the internet (Facebook, instagram, snapchat, etc). It's no "accident" that these young women post hundreds upon hundreds of selfies up on their pages, it didn't "just happen", and in fact is *quite* deliberate

Ironically, the only women that complain about this kind of stuff are older or unnatractive women who don't get "cat-called" anyway. It's the same thing with feminist issues in general, it's rare to see a young woman involved in that kind of thing. Feminist rank-and-file are overwhelmingly older women.

My family is full of young women in the 18-28 range and trust me, they don't "mind" getting male attention at all. In fact, they ACTIVELY go out seeking such attention or dressing provocatively My aunt's two early 20's daughters are frequently "missing" on the weekends or meeting guys. And their Facebook pages?? What a joke, smh

We can't be so gullible/naive folks, the truth is women actively and deliberately encourage this kind of thing

You are correct. Women want attention.

But...

Only from the men that they want attention FROM.

Ergo, if you do not know a woman and she has not exhibited interest in speaking with you in a personal way of some sort, keep your thoughts to yourself.

Enjoy the view or whatever, but really... is it that hard to keep quiet?

Nope.

[ColoradoOnMyMind]

I just read the exact same topic on Neogaf forum word for word

[Travelassie]

Originally Posted by FKD19124

there was a time when men whistled or complimented good looking women that they were flattered.
Feminism destroyed that.

I never considered myself a card-carrying "feminist", but I was always annoyed at the catcalls and leud comments. And you don't have to be dressed provocatively to get them, either.

[LearnMe]

New or old, that video is probably not the best way to demonstrate the problem of men behaving badly, but it serves the general purpose, and unfortunately..., I'm not sure there is much that can be done to stop such behavior any more or less than we can expect people to stop littering or stop being rude or stop driving like morons...

The issue of sexual harassment is nevertheless an important one, and I always think to myself that anyone who is confused about what is or is not sexual harassment will probably act inappropriately sooner or later, much like people who struggle what it is to be PC or racist or sexist. Not "rocket science" by any means, but for many people, managing their behavior toward others is simply immature, and when still immature after becoming an adult, all anyone can do is let it be known that behavior is just not cool. Doesn't matter whether the offense is minor according to some or not. Acting like a moron, whether more or less moronic, is just not right either way.

All that said, I am a heterosexual male who appreciates women in all the many ways a man can appreciate a woman, and even back when I was dating and in "the hunt" for a companion/mate, I never EVER crossed that line from respecting a woman's feelings and boundaries into the realm of being a moron (that I know of anyway).

I think men who do cross that line, however, many times just don't know better for lots of reasons. Hard to excuse bad behavior even when someone doesn't seem to know better, but anyone can easily recognize all the many "mixed signals" out there that can confuse a man who may suffer from any number of shortcomings, like; insecurity, lack of self-esteem, bad upbringing, bad judgement, no good role models (female or male)...

Bottom line: I feel sorry that women need to deal with men behaving badly without much hope in sight that those problem(s) are likely to vanish anytime soon. Men don't share those sorts of problems as a rule, we've got other problems of different sorts. What to do about our problems? Not hard for anyone to find good advice and counsel if they want or need it I don't think...