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Old 04-06-2017, 12:32 PM
 
Location: Portland, OR
9,858 posts, read 11,866,849 times
Reputation: 10027

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Here is a link that may suffice. I don't know. Two people could read it and come away with very different conclusions. I admit I am more of a 'glass half empty sort'. FWIW.
Your Chances Of Getting Pregnant At Any Age

 
Old 04-06-2017, 12:36 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
90,316 posts, read 120,147,178 times
Reputation: 35920
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leisesturm View Post
Missing link...
Oops! Your Chances Of Getting Pregnant At Any Age

Just checked, same link you posted!

Re: Down's-funny how Europeans are more likely to terminate. They're the ones with the universal health care, paid maternity leave (sometimes for years), etc. Maybe we're just more accepting here.
 
Old 04-06-2017, 12:38 PM
 
Location: Portland, OR
9,858 posts, read 11,866,849 times
Reputation: 10027
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katarina Witt View Post
Here is a link about odds of pregnancy. Maybe this time you should read it before commenting on it. Do read the Down's link before commenting again.
Thank you, I read the link. I wish I could say that I had an Epiphany and would now choose to have a Down's child but, no, I remain of the opinion that it is not a fate I would want for a child of mine. Or for myself and my mate.
 
Old 04-06-2017, 12:41 PM
 
Location: Portland, OR
9,858 posts, read 11,866,849 times
Reputation: 10027
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katarina Witt View Post
Oops! Your Chances Of Getting Pregnant At Any Age

Just checked, same link you posted!

Re: Down's-funny how Europeans are more likely to terminate. They're the ones with the universal health care, paid maternity leave (sometimes for years), etc. Maybe we're just more accepting here.
Or maybe Europeans place a higher premium on optimal quality of life. Some things are not about money.
 
Old 04-06-2017, 12:42 PM
 
Location: Camberville
15,774 posts, read 21,283,299 times
Reputation: 27967
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leisesturm View Post
Thank you, I read the link. I wish I could say that I had an Epiphany and would now choose to have a Down's child but, no, I remain of the opinion that it is not a fate I would want for a child of mine. Or for myself and my mate.
I would rather, if it were to happen, that it happens after I've had time to build savings and make a name for myself in my career which means in their 30s for most people, rather than at 24 or 25 when you are not financially prepared to handle such a blow.

There are no guarantees in life. I grew up in an area where people have kids young and say "G-d provides." They then find themselves in a world of hurt when they have children with special needs that they cannot afford to take care of.
 
Old 04-06-2017, 12:45 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
90,316 posts, read 120,147,178 times
Reputation: 35920
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leisesturm View Post
Or maybe Europeans place a higher premium on optimal quality of life. Some things are not about money.
Gag me! I've worked with Down's kids. They can have a great quality of life. They're not nearly as handicapped as kids with many other syndromes. Every life is worth living. These kids can teach the rest of us some things.
 
Old 04-06-2017, 12:51 PM
 
1,915 posts, read 1,467,316 times
Reputation: 3238
Quote:
Originally Posted by charolastra00 View Post
I would rather, if it were to happen, that it happens after I've had time to build savings and make a name for myself in my career which means in their 30s for most people, rather than at 24 or 25 when you are not financially prepared to handle such a blow.

There are no guarantees in life. I grew up in an area where people have kids young and say "G-d provides." They then find themselves in a world of hurt when they have children with special needs that they cannot afford to take care of.
I'm not looking to have kids, but this is the reality today. Maybe in another time someone could have kids in their early 20s and do well, but that's just not today's reality. A family can't live off one salary anymore so you need child care, people have to save for their own retirement (very few pensions out there), people have to move away from home to find work so they lose the family support network, etc.

Today's reality is if kids become affordable for a couple, it's usually after you have an established career and a decent nest egg. That's usually in one's late 20s to early 30s.
 
Old 04-06-2017, 12:58 PM
 
19,360 posts, read 12,012,138 times
Reputation: 26091
Quote:
Originally Posted by BellaLind View Post
I'm not looking to have kids, but this is the reality today. Maybe in another time someone could have kids in their early 20s and do well, but that's just not today's reality. A family can't live off one salary anymore so you need child care, people have to save for their own retirement (very few pensions out there), people have to move away from home to find work so they lose the family support network, etc.
I know people who are doing it. They arranged their lives around having one primary income provider. They may have a side business or work part time for extra money but primarily it is about taking care of the kids and some are home schooling.
 
Old 04-06-2017, 12:59 PM
 
Location: Portland, OR
9,858 posts, read 11,866,849 times
Reputation: 10027
Quote:
Originally Posted by BellaLind View Post
Today's reality is if kids become affordable for a couple, it's usually after you have an established career and a decent nest egg. That's usually in one's late 20s to early 30s.
I realize this is the reality. It flies in the face of biological reality, however. My push-back is against the acceptance of a paradigm that will flood the country with millions of sub-par Americans that won't teach us much except how expensive it will be to care for them. It cannot be considered a best practice. It should be pushed back on. Trillions of dollars of wealth that could have provided financial and social support for young mothers have been usurped by the 1% and we're ok with that. The answer is for everyone with less than 80K/yr to delay parenthood until it is on the borderlines of being biologically unsupportable?
 
Old 04-06-2017, 01:01 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
37,729 posts, read 40,764,681 times
Reputation: 61933
If you want to make a case against marriage watch any HGTV show (like House Hunters or House Hunters International to name 2) where young married couples go searching for a new home.

The older married couples aren't much better but the younger ones have divorce written all over them. You have, for example, young women insisting on getting their way on buying a home for their charm while their husbands can't even stand straight up in them because the shower and ceilings are too low (Americans in Europe), young men refusing to buy a home that's perfect for them and their toddler kid because 15 minutes to drive to work is too long for them. Just married couples who were living in one of their parents' homes now looking for a house in a pricey neighborhood with 5 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, all modern appliances, hardwood floors, a pool, a "man cave" and a staircase and light fixtures that has to wow their visitors based on budget of $150,000 - $200,000 and then they refuse the home because they don't like the backsplash.

One wife refused to move to a home that didn't have a screened in porch for her cat or another who said the back yard wasn't big enough for their little dog even though everything else about it was perfect. And the worst, just married couples who were living in one of their parents' homes now will not consider a house in the same town as the parents if it's on the other side of the same town because it's too far away from the parents. You have to be a saint to be a real estate agent these days.

I chalk it up to waiting too long to get married (age-wise) and then having expectations above and beyond your means because you lived with mommy and daddy too long and are used to being pampered and getting everything you want; everything that probably took the parents 25 years or more to obtain after they got married.
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