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Loyalty is something I only owe to the people that I know. My mother, aunts, female friends and cousins will continue to receive my unwavering support.
The rest? You're on your own.
Many (if not most) black American women are in deep denial about how many black American men hold this mentality. The sooner we TRULY understand this the better.
I'd argue, that people in general have this mentality.
While true, I don't think the "stay at home mom" issue is relevant to the problem of black men and black women taking care of one another rather than being at war with each other.
What I was getting at with the stay at home moms is the propensity for black women to work rather than stay at home. I think this is a good thing due to the employment statistics of black men. My mother and my father's mother were at odds because my mother chose to work and not stay home.
I think there is more competition between upper class black men and women because they are competing with each other for the few high paying positions for black people. Lower classes don't have this problem because some low paying jobs may have a workforce that is majority black. I think the stay at home black dad is going to have to be the new normal (for upper class and lower class black families) if black men want to support black women and this is a reality that more black women will have to embrace in order to keep the family intact.
What I was getting at with the stay at home moms is the propensity for black women to work rather than stay at home. I think this is a good thing due to the employment statistics of black men. My mother and my father's mother were at odds because my mother chose to work and not stay home.
I think there is more competition between upper class black men and women because they are competing with each other for the few high paying positions for black people. Lower classes don't have this problem because some low paying jobs may have a workforce that is majority black. I think the stay at home black dad is going to have to be the new normal (for upper class and lower class black families) if black men want to support black women and this is a reality that more black women will have to embrace in order to keep the family intact.
You're linking articles about black women with more than a million dollars in assets. The second article was not really about a "stay at home dad," it was about a "professional working from home dad" with a six-figure-income wife.
Neither article is anything like an indication of a trend"or any condition likely to become a trend. "Stay at home" for either mate is not going to be a normal for any family that isn't quite well off on one income.
Location: Born & Raised DC > Carolinas > Seattle > Denver
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This may be semi off topic, but I just want people to understand what it's like being a black woman in America, from my wife's perspective.
Back in 2011 when my wife did this "experiment," she had a bachelor's degree in Computer Science, a master's degree in Human Resource Management, and 5 years of experience in her field.
My wife's name is "Tamika," a name that immediately identifies her as black. When we first moved to Denver in 2011, she applied to jobs that she was more than qualified for. She got a few phone calls, but that was it. No interviews, very little interest. Discouraged, she tried a little experiment. She changed her name on her resume from "Tamika" to just "Tami," and then applied to jobs. I have an Irish last name, so on paper as "Tami McClain" (just used McClain as an Irish name example), she no longer appeared black. Exact same resume, exact same credentials. Just "Tami" instead of "Tamika."
You know where this is going, don't you? Yep, you do. After six months of applying to jobs in the Denver area with a "black name" and zero interviews, after just 3 weeks of applying with "Tami," she had three interviews, and landed a job as a Technical Writer with a major US Bank. Regardless of your political affiliation, how can you not be disgusted by that????
I've never been one to play the race card. I'm a black man. Yes, I have been pulled over by police 18 times since 2001. Yes, I have had police search my car with drug dogs more than once and didn't even get a ticket. Yes, when we exit through the "receipt checker person" as Costco, it feels like they take a lot longer to check our receipt than the 5 white people in front of us. Yes, I feel like I always have to work hard at my job and never slack off as I fear being labeled/stereotyped as a "lazy black man." Yes, I've been called a ****** (n-word) before. That's just life as a black man. I'm 34, I'm used to it.
But my wife was dealt the double whammy. She's black, and she's a woman. She's got it harder than I do. So every time I might feel a little sorry for myself because somebody else at my job got a promotion that i felt I was more qualified for, I just try to keep things in perspective and remember that my wife didn't even get phone calls for jobs she was qualified for.
I love my country, but sometimes it infuriates me how so many people are completely oblivious to situations like my wife's job search.... and how things like that happen every single day. My parents are both white (I'm adopted), and when I told my mom the story about what happened to my wife applying to jobs, she was so frustrated that she started crying tears of anger.
Black women are our mothers aunts, grandmothers, sisters, cousins, daughters, and [in some cases]our friends. That said, often we don't see [many] black men PUBLICALLY advocating for black women's issues they way that they've campaigned for us in the past.
Now let me say, that not every black woman has our best interests out there, that said, I would like to see more unity within the community and a big part of that raising awareness to the black women out there who are also victims of the same shootings that black men are (even if possibly to a lesser degree).
Do you think that there is a lot of self-hatred among black men that's been swept under a rug for too long?
What do you that we as black men can do to better advocate for black women? How can we work to eliminate misogyny?
How do we advocate for OURSELVES without neglecting the hardships of women?
Do you read the negromanosphere? I commentate on that platform sometimes. My comments have already caused me to get in trouble with my employer.
Black women and Black men are bitterly divided. Tommy Sotomayor, Ohsay Jackson, Obsidian, Angryman, BGS Ibmor, and even white personalities like Tom Lykis and Freedomain Radio talk about black women. Much of anger is expressed in the MGTOW MRA movement. Just recently some black women forced YouTube and google to take down YouTube videos because of hateful comments and themes that had ad revenue on it. This is clearly a violation of free speech.
Don't get me wrong. Their are plenty of good black women out there, and I mean plenty. Black women are just caught up with the wrong guys. The good black men are either went to the military, went away to college and never returned home. Than you have good black men in the community who do not associate with debauchery. The black men that I described tend to be a bit more on the conservative side of the spectrum. Then you have the educated black women. The woman with 2 or 3 degrees, the woman with 100k debt, the woman living in some hip neighborhood in NYC or Atlanta. those type of women don't want anything to do with black men. Especially since most black men are not in their level. Black America is deeply divided. White America is also divided, I suggest you should read Charles Maury Coming Apart, the decline of white America.
I don't think their is self hatred, but their is too much pride, and this pride clashes with other peoples pride. A black woman who's educated prides herself with being educated and like minded people, and can be snobbish to those under her. And those who are above her can and will hate her because they view her as a sellout. Which to a certain degree is true.
Same way how people say, if you do the crime, you do the time. Same applies to women. If you sleep with the guy and got pregnant and no marriage, if you went to that school and you owe 200k in tuition. Those are their responsibilities, and their are going to have to fix them. A good man outside of a woman's realm cant fix anything. A woman has to fix that on her own regardless of race. However these common themes are very prevalent in the black American community. Even though I'm not African American, I do see them a lot in my area.
You're linking articles about black women with more than a million dollars in assets. The second article was not really about a "stay at home dad," it was about a "professional working from home dad" with a six-figure-income wife.
Neither article is anything like an indication of a trend"or any condition likely to become a trend. "Stay at home" for either mate is not going to be a normal for any family that isn't quite well off on one income.
There is nothing wrong with getting ahead of the curve and facing the reality that if a man can't make enough money to support his family, then leaving the family and just supporting your self is not an option. We are moving into an era where less and less labor is needed across the board in all industries.
This trend will impact the black community first. The problem is we have undervalued women in the role of home maker for so long that a man won’t think of it as actually making a worthwhile contribution to his family.
I grew up in a family of 10 kids in the inner city both parents worked menial jobs. In those days you could do fine without welfare under those conditions. All ten kids went to college and there were no police records.
That is a by gone era, you can’t even support a family today with two low wage jobs. Whatever paradigm shift it takes to get black women and men home every evening and weekend together as a family is worth trying. Black families have always have always been impacted first with the changing dynamics in labor. What black women need is stability in the family unit.
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After six months of applying to jobs in the Denver area with a "black name" and zero interviews, after just 3 weeks of applying with "Tami," she had three interviews, and landed a job as a Technical Writer with a major US Bank. Regardless of your political affiliation, how can you not be disgusted by that???? 
