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Old 07-18-2017, 02:24 PM
 
16,212 posts, read 10,814,566 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jacqueg View Post
But you thought he should have gotten a better grade than he did.

Just like the many parents who complain about their children's grades being too low. And I really think that's the root of the problem that you are complaining about.

Stop blaming teachers and take a good hard look at the mirror.

I was expected to get top grades, and if I didn't, I heard about it. From both my parents and my teacher. They were on the SAME side. The message from both was the same - you're smarter than that, straighten up and fly right. It was up to me to reach the standard that the teacher set. Whereas, you complained that your nephew's teacher's standard was too high.

There are inadequate teachers out there, no question. But frankly, that's no excuse. It's not like teachers are the only source of information in the world.
ITA with the bold and especially the blue.

IMO the issue with the higher grades today is based solely on the fact that parents b*tch and moan today if their kids don't get an A.

Many of my family and friends are educators and talk about how some parents go off if their kid doesn't get good grades, they will go up to the school and have all sorts of meetings and make a scene as if their little girl/boy could NEVER not be worthy of an A.

It is not teachers. It is the parents demanding good grades for kids who they wish got better grades.

As stated above, my kid doesn't get "good" grades IMO. He has a C average. I don't like that he has a C average but I'm not going to go and b*tch to his teachers about him not doing the work he needs to do to get a better grade. I know many parents who do this and many teachers who've had a lot of parents do this to them, even threaten them.

I'll also note that I know a lot of parents who think their kids should always get good grades, who have sent their kids to private schools and because they pay money to that school, they do the same thing that they did in the public schools - try to intimidate and threaten teachers/staff over grades. IMO private schools are more willing to bend to the will of parents in this regard. That is why the article mentioned that private schools have more grade inflation than public. If the private school doesn't do what the parent wants, the parent will take the student and the money they are paying the school to another location. The public schools are more stable financially, so they don't have to bend to the will of pushy parents over grades.

 
Old 07-18-2017, 02:40 PM
 
Location: In the reddest part of the bluest state
5,752 posts, read 2,779,493 times
Reputation: 4925
Quote:
Originally Posted by residinghere2007 View Post
On the bold just wanted to note that I don't believe that at all. I think it depends on the person/kid and their personality and learning style.

As stated, I was a TAG kid. I've been back to school over the past 6 years and I've never gotten any grade lower than an A because I'm that type of person. Anything other than an A is unacceptable in my mind.

Other people/kids don't have the same mindset as I do. I actually have VERY high expectations for my own kids, but I have a high schooler who is fine with getting Cs. A C to me is an F. But he is fine with a C. As long as he passes he's okay. It REALLY irks me as a parent he is like this. I've also spoken about college since before he was born and he has had a lot of advantages over kids without a steady homelife like he has and who are poorer than our family. He has always gone to great schools, he has always tested above average and he's even taken the ACT and scored above average on that test when he was a 7th grader, but he has a C average because he doesn't care about getting Cs as long as he passes. He is also considered to be "gifted" based on standardized tests and in "creativity." I figure he is just too creative. He cares more about artsy things than he does academics and getting good grades.

Parents can't make kids change their entire personalities. It is interesting to me that I was a TAG student as was my older brother. One of my younger brothers was a D/F student. We were raised in the same home and had the same expectations. The younger one actually dropped out of high school and went and got his GED because he just didn't like school and didn't care about getting good grades and didn't want to go anymore. We have the same parents and the same expectations and ironically, me and the older brother had it rougher than the younger one when we were kids since by the time little brother came along my mom was older (she was a teen mom with me and my older brother) and made more money (she was on welfare when me and my older brother were young, we had a very rough home life but it was expected that we go to school everyday, that we be respectful/behave, and that we get good grades and have a minimum 3.5 GPA).
I will grant you that there will be outliers, but I think that most of education will succeed or fail at home. My parents were both teachers and both commented, as far back as the 70s, how parents were simply warehousing their kids at school and not supporting their education at home.

I too was designated a TAG kid, but because I was from a small town there were no resources to do anything about that. I pretty much finished HS as a junior and just hung around school my last year.
So, like your brother, it may just depend on the input he got from teachers or curriculum. Even twins can have different personalities.

My kids are both on the college track in HS. One is incessantly worrying over her grades and is in her student portal weekly to find out where she stands. My other kid does it effortlessly and could care less but still gets As. I guess we'll find out the difference in the next couple of years.
 
Old 07-18-2017, 03:05 PM
 
16,212 posts, read 10,814,566 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CCbaxter View Post
I will grant you that there will be outliers, but I think that most of education will succeed or fail at home. My parents were both teachers and both commented, as far back as the 70s, how parents were simply warehousing their kids at school and not supporting their education at home.

I too was designated a TAG kid, but because I was from a small town there were no resources to do anything about that. I pretty much finished HS as a junior and just hung around school my last year.
So, like your brother, it may just depend on the input he got from teachers or curriculum. Even twins can have different personalities.

My kids are both on the college track in HS. One is incessantly worrying over her grades and is in her student portal weekly to find out where she stands. My other kid does it effortlessly and could care less but still gets As. I guess we'll find out the difference in the next couple of years.
My thing is, how do you "support their education at home?"

My mom never did anything with me and my older brothers at home but tell us not to bring home bad grades and she sent us to school everyday and we went to bed at 9pm.

I have 2 kids, both have the same expectations, one is a great student but is still in elementary so I don't "count" that as my oldest one also got all As through 5th grade. Things I did/do with my kids when they were younger included making sure they went to the best schools I could find to fit their needs, they take music lessons, they could read before they went to kindergarten, they do math and reading everyday in the summer months and on weekends (to this day). The older one still gets Cs lol.

The only things I think make a difference in education support of children at home is in years birth to 3 that the kid gets a good amount of nurturing at home, that parents read/speak to their kids, that they let their kids engage in play time that includes learning opportunities.

Once I send my kid to school, I make sure they do their homework everyday. Other than that and what I did above, I don't do anything. PTA is just a fundraising club and silly gossip/political crap (many people who run for PTA in my district eventually want to get a school board position). I do volunteer with a school club that one of my kids is in.

It is just always odd to me that so many parents think that other parents can magically make kids get good grades, especially teens in high school. If they don't want to get good grades they won't. You cannot teach a child to be motivated about things they don't care about and some kids just don't care about school. FWIW as stated, my son is considered "gifted." They no longer have the program in our district that I went through, because like wanderlust mentioned, we had a lot of kids who were stressed out and nearly suicidal from the competition/pressure. I know my kid is way above average academically on skillset and standardized test scores and his level of creativity and innovative thinking. He mainly has a C average because he doesn't turn in all his work. He turns in half of it and then aces an exam. His teachers love him and they are always disappointed that he doesn't turn in work so he can get better grades. I've decided not to harp about it anymore with him because it was ruining our relationship. If he wants to get bad grades, then he will and will have to deal with the consequences in the future of not being able to do the things he wants to do in life. I could always pressure his teachers to give him good grades. They would, I'm sure, if I was one of those parents who pushed them to do so, but I'm not going to do that. We have a family business and I told him he'd just have to work in the family business with his dad if he doesn't want to do well in school so he can get into college. He would rather not do that (he already works with dad in summer) but we'll see.
 
Old 07-18-2017, 03:06 PM
 
2,956 posts, read 2,341,067 times
Reputation: 6475
Blames liberals for poor performing schools. In other thread posts county by county national map showing mostly red and brags about state legislatures being Republican controlled. Doesn't know schools are locally run for the most part.

Sum up the stupid well enough?

Our problem is complicated but the gap between haves and have nots is widening and education follows socio economic lines well like many other things. So not surprising given what is happening to see it impact education.

Naturally, "herp derp liberals" though.

Last edited by aridon; 07-18-2017 at 03:30 PM..
 
Old 07-18-2017, 03:23 PM
 
23,965 posts, read 15,063,270 times
Reputation: 12933
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mathguy View Post
Lol...you want to hold responsible the only people in the equation with absolutely no power over the kids.

My aunt is a retired teacher in a depressed economic area and she couldn't make the kids do homework etc. and if they got bad grades then mom (maybe the rare dad) would show up to blame them.

These are the same kids that showed up to kindergarden having never been taught ABC's, had a book read to them....nothing.

It's like drinking a case of beer a day and McDonalds for a year and then showing up at the doctor and blaming them for the terrible condition of their body.

Take some personal responsibility.
That's the problem. Nobody is taking responsibility for the kids. And nobody every taught the parents how to be adults, much less a good parent.

In my perfect world they would be put in boarding school at age 3. Well maybe not 3. But they would be spending a lot time in small classes with excellent teachers.

I have a lot of respect for three year old people and what they can do. If the school could get them at that age with truly good teachers, lots of that home environment could be overcome.

Three year olds can learn to work in groups and solve their problems. They can learn to control themselves. They can set the table, learn how to serve and be served a meal and clean up after themselves. Etc., etc., etc,.

Knowing one is competent gives a child confidence and a good self image a lot more than gold stars. IMO, it would be far cheaper in the long run. The key is excellent teachers. Too bad there are not enough of them. My local schools are full of people who should not be there. I say that as the mother of 2 teachers, the sil of 2 teachers, the aunt of 6 teachers. And the soon to be grandparent of 3 teachers.
 
Old 07-18-2017, 03:25 PM
 
18,323 posts, read 10,648,066 times
Reputation: 8602
Quote:
Originally Posted by WordsRus View Post
I find the OP and other apparently conservative posters on this thread fascinating. Conservatives today loathe education and whine about the "liberal educated elite" ... they voted for Donald Trump just to stick it to the educated people who hate him ...

But here they are, complaining about the quality of American education. I would have thought they'd be thrilled. After all, destroying the U.S. education system is one of the fundamental planks of the GOP's platform.
Exactly,the OP knows an educated voter is less likely to vote republican and that scares him and others like him.
 
Old 07-18-2017, 03:30 PM
 
Location: In the reddest part of the bluest state
5,752 posts, read 2,779,493 times
Reputation: 4925
Quote:
Originally Posted by residinghere2007 View Post
My thing is, how do you "support their education at home?"

My mom never did anything with me and my older brothers at home but tell us not to bring home bad grades and she sent us to school everyday and we went to bed at 9pm.

I have 2 kids, both have the same expectations, one is a great student but is still in elementary so I don't "count" that as my oldest one also got all As through 5th grade. Things I did/do with my kids when they were younger included making sure they went to the best schools I could find to fit their needs, they take music lessons, they could read before they went to kindergarten, they do math and reading everyday in the summer months and on weekends (to this day). The older one still gets Cs lol.

The only things I think make a difference in education support of children at home is in years birth to 3 that the kid gets a good amount of nurturing at home, that parents read/speak to their kids, that they let their kids engage in play time that includes learning opportunities.

Once I send my kid to school, I make sure they do their homework everyday. Other than that and what I did above, I don't do anything. PTA is just a fundraising club and silly gossip/political crap (many people who run for PTA in my district eventually want to get a school board position). I do volunteer with a school club that one of my kids is in.

It is just always odd to me that so many parents think that other parents can magically make kids get good grades, especially teens in high school. If they don't want to get good grades they won't. You cannot teach a child to be motivated about things they don't care about and some kids just don't care about school. FWIW as stated, my son is considered "gifted." They no longer have the program in our district that I went through, because like wanderlust mentioned, we had a lot of kids who were stressed out and nearly suicidal from the competition/pressure. I know my kid is way above average academically on skillset and standardized test scores and his level of creativity and innovative thinking. He mainly has a C average because he doesn't turn in all his work. He turns in half of it and then aces an exam. His teachers love him and they are always disappointed that he doesn't turn in work so he can get better grades. I've decided not to harp about it anymore with him because it was ruining our relationship. If he wants to get bad grades, then he will and will have to deal with the consequences in the future of not being able to do the things he wants to do in life. I could always pressure his teachers to give him good grades. They would, I'm sure, if I was one of those parents who pushed them to do so, but I'm not going to do that. We have a family business and I told him he'd just have to work in the family business with his dad if he doesn't want to do well in school so he can get into college. He would rather not do that (he already works with dad in summer) but we'll see.
Again, I will agree with you that in a case like your son, he is 'other motivated' and it could very well be that whatever he will be very successful in just can't be measured by the system of education in place.
But you cant tell me that there aren't bright kids out there who have parents that either can't or won't support their child's education, and that is a far larger percentage of the problem than the one facing you.

My kids too could read before kindergarten and had music and art lessons, and I feel lucky that I could provide that. But it's more than that. Example, earlier this week I was eating a McDonald's with my oldest when she pointed out a mother with 2 young kids. The kids had some sort of coloring book or comic book and were trying to read it. Even my 15 year old noted how the mother could not be bothered to bothered to put down her cell phone and engage with her kids. Passive.

Then, when I was between jobs a few years ago I volunteered at my kid's elementary school going on field trips and tutoring some kids. There was a boy who always sat on a bench instead of playing with the other kids at recess. He was there because he had not finished his homework assignments, and I asked him why he didn't do it so he could play. He said his parents told him he didn't have to do it because it was a waste of time. Active.

How can any teacher compete with that?
 
Old 07-18-2017, 03:33 PM
 
Location: In The Thin Air
12,566 posts, read 10,611,363 times
Reputation: 9247
Quote:
Originally Posted by Frank DeForrest View Post
you make a fine case for closing govt indoctrination centers...er uh public schools.
And go to the voucher program? Disaster waiting to happen.
 
Old 07-18-2017, 04:11 PM
 
23,965 posts, read 15,063,270 times
Reputation: 12933
IMO, people are refusing to see what is front of their faces. The neighborhood gang leaders have skills that are seen in corporate board rooms.

By the time they run the cartel they are as talented as a CEO and a tv preacher combined. The dope dealers and pimps run a business. Some segments of society do not value what they do, but the talent is there. We just need to figure out how to channel it.

Schools are spending huge sums of money. You cannot force a person to learn. But you can damn well instill a love of learning in them if you get them young enough.

IMO, it should be early education with a good teacher in a small classroom. That is way cheaper than keeping them in jail at 30 grand a year.

CCbaxter, ask any competent teacher. They will all tell you homework is mostly a waste of time. Anything more than 20 minutes is a waste of time. I said competent teacher. Some of those moms on their phones are making 150 grand a year and leaving their kids in day care. My daughter who teaches pre school could write a book on the effect of cells phones on little kids.
 
Old 07-18-2017, 04:17 PM
 
Location: In the reddest part of the bluest state
5,752 posts, read 2,779,493 times
Reputation: 4925
Quote:
Originally Posted by crone View Post

CCbaxter, ask any competent teacher. They will all tell you homework is mostly a waste of time. Anything more than 20 minutes is a waste of time. I said competent teacher. Some of those moms on their phones are making 150 grand a year and leaving their kids in day care. My daughter who teaches pre school could write a book on the effect of cells phones on little kids.
I don't disagree at all. In fact my kids left a flipped classroom model when they finished middle school and I thought that was a great tool. They also had peer reading groups which had my kids reading HS level material in the 4th and 5th grade.
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