Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Politics and Other Controversies
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 11-14-2017, 08:42 PM
 
33 posts, read 45,296 times
Reputation: 75

Advertisements

Wanted your thoughts on something. Recently I was talking to a group of women I know from work albeit not very well just saw them hanging out at the mall, I went up to them and said "How are you guys doing?". One of them seemed to get a little perturbed and said "It's wrong to use that kind of language, it's offensive" I said sorry and asked why and she said "It's offensive to all genders and is sexist to use that term when there are women since we aren't guys". I said I was sorry again and left all while giving me some mean looks but geez. Granted, these were some younger people but I am a woman yet never felt it was offensive or somehow "wrong". I have heard both men and other women say "you guys" even if it's a mixed group or even all women.

Am I in the wrong and need to "get with the times" or is it really no big deal?

 
Old 11-14-2017, 08:45 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
38,972 posts, read 27,364,015 times
Reputation: 15922
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aeana View Post
Wanted your thoughts on something. Recently I was talking to a group of women I know from work albeit not very well just saw them hanging out at the mall, I went up to them and said "How are you guys doing?". One of them seemed to get a little perturbed and said "It's wrong to use that kind of language, it's offensive" I said sorry and asked why and she said "It's offensive to all genders and is sexist to use that term when there are women since we aren't guys". I said I was sorry again and left all while giving me some mean looks but geez. Granted, these were some younger people but I am a woman yet never felt it was offensive or somehow "wrong". I have heard both men and other women say "you guys" even if it's a mixed group or even all women.

Am I in the wrong and need to "get with the times" or is it really no big deal?
Not a big deal.

Bold, I have no ideas why she was upset.
 
Old 11-14-2017, 08:47 PM
 
Location: near bears but at least no snakes
26,639 posts, read 28,474,267 times
Reputation: 50458
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aeana View Post
Wanted your thoughts on something. Recently I was talking to a group of women I know from work albeit not very well just saw them hanging out at the mall, I went up to them and said "How are you guys doing?". One of them seemed to get a little perturbed and said "It's wrong to use that kind of language, it's offensive" I said sorry and asked why and she said "It's offensive to all genders and is sexist to use that term when there are women since we aren't guys". I said I was sorry again and left all while giving me some mean looks but geez. Granted, these were some younger people but I am a woman yet never felt it was offensive or somehow "wrong". I have heard both men and other women say "you guys" even if it's a mixed group or even all women.

Am I in the wrong and need to "get with the times" or is it really no big deal?
It's a regionalism. Where I live, we say "you guys" all the time, men, women, or a mixed group. It's fine and I say it. Hey, you guys! New Englanders say it and I think New Yorkers say it too and it is definitely not offensive unless someone wants to be offended.
 
Old 11-14-2017, 08:50 PM
 
Location: Japan
15,292 posts, read 7,709,407 times
Reputation: 10006
... there is no end to the petty foolishness over gender and language. But if the goal is to interact with people while avoiding drama, all you can do is try to find out what they want to be called and call them that. In this case, I have no idea. I doubt "You gals" is preferable...
 
Old 11-14-2017, 08:57 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
38,972 posts, read 27,364,015 times
Reputation: 15922
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aeana View Post
Wanted your thoughts on something. Recently I was talking to a group of women I know from work albeit not very well just saw them hanging out at the mall, I went up to them and said "How are you guys doing?". One of them seemed to get a little perturbed and said "It's wrong to use that kind of language, it's offensive" I said sorry and asked why and she said "It's offensive to all genders and is sexist to use that term when there are women since we aren't guys". I said I was sorry again and left all while giving me some mean looks but geez. Granted, these were some younger people but I am a woman yet never felt it was offensive or somehow "wrong". I have heard both men and other women say "you guys" even if it's a mixed group or even all women.

Am I in the wrong and need to "get with the times" or is it really no big deal?
You shouldn't apologize. You didn't do anything wrong. If she was offended, that is HER problem

There is no "lesson" to learn. She does not have the right to set the "rules". sheesh, ignore her.
 
Old 11-14-2017, 08:58 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL
11,069 posts, read 10,629,624 times
Reputation: 9704
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aeana View Post
Wanted your thoughts on something. Recently I was talking to a group of women I know from work albeit not very well just saw them hanging out at the mall, I went up to them and said "How are you guys doing?". One of them seemed to get a little perturbed and said "It's wrong to use that kind of language, it's offensive" I said sorry and asked why and she said "It's offensive to all genders and is sexist to use that term when there are women since we aren't guys". I said I was sorry again and left all while giving me some mean looks but geez. Granted, these were some younger people but I am a woman yet never felt it was offensive or somehow "wrong". I have heard both men and other women say "you guys" even if it's a mixed group or even all women.

Am I in the wrong and need to "get with the times" or is it really no big deal?
I think the problem was hers, not yours. Anyone who gets an attitude over a simple statement like that shouldn't be lecturing others on what's offensive. Pot..Kettle.
 
Old 11-14-2017, 08:59 PM
 
Location: Eugene, Oregon
11,119 posts, read 5,538,712 times
Reputation: 16595
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aeana View Post
Wanted your thoughts on something. Recently I was talking to a group of women I know from work albeit not very well just saw them hanging out at the mall, I went up to them and said "How are you guys doing?". One of them seemed to get a little perturbed and said "It's wrong to use that kind of language, it's offensive" I said sorry and asked why and she said "It's offensive to all genders and is sexist to use that term when there are women since we aren't guys". I said I was sorry again and left all while giving me some mean looks but geez. Granted, these were some younger people but I am a woman yet never felt it was offensive or somehow "wrong". I have heard both men and other women say "you guys" even if it's a mixed group or even all women.

Am I in the wrong and need to "get with the times" or is it really no big deal?

I've never detected any sign of irritation when I called a group of women, "You guys". But if I'd called them, "You girls", I doubt if they would have liked that. Down South, they don't have that problem, because everyone is called, "You all" or "Y'all".
 
Old 11-14-2017, 09:06 PM
 
4,710 posts, read 7,068,440 times
Reputation: 5612
I agree that this is regional. I grew up in Wisconsin, and everyone used "you guys" with mixed groups or even with all female groups. To us, the term had no gender unless you used it with "a guy," which would mean a male. (I saw a guy walking.) However, in Texas, they use "y'all." I did get asked once why I said "you guys" but I think the person wasn't offended, just curious. In California, it is acceptable usage for a mixed group, although it is not as commonly used as in the mid-west. I don't know about the eastern part of the country - I have never lived there.

I don't think you did anything wrong, although a simple explanation of how you use the terms would probably have helped the person to understand that this was an innocent expression.
 
Old 11-14-2017, 09:09 PM
 
Location: Florida
10,347 posts, read 3,916,058 times
Reputation: 8320
I don't find it offensive, but when I am approaching someone I do not know, I'll call out "hey you all" in a southern accent, and I haven't had any issues.
 
Old 11-14-2017, 09:10 PM
 
Location: St Paul
7,713 posts, read 4,718,356 times
Reputation: 5007
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aeana View Post
Wanted your thoughts on something. Recently I was talking to a group of women I know from work albeit not very well just saw them hanging out at the mall, I went up to them and said "How are you guys doing?". One of them seemed to get a little perturbed and said "It's wrong to use that kind of language, it's offensive" I said sorry and asked why and she said "It's offensive to all genders and is sexist to use that term when there are women since we aren't guys". I said I was sorry again and left all while giving me some mean looks but geez. Granted, these were some younger people but I am a woman yet never felt it was offensive or somehow "wrong". I have heard both men and other women say "you guys" even if it's a mixed group or even all women.

Am I in the wrong and need to "get with the times" or is it really no big deal?
Here in Minnesota we say "You guys" to any mixed group. The only time I ever heard boo about it was when I lived in the South and they'd say "You guys? There's girls here too." but it was said jokingly to make fun of my regional accent. I just can't say "Ya'll" with a straight face.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Politics and Other Controversies

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top