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Old 11-19-2017, 01:56 PM
 
Location: West Michigan
12,358 posts, read 7,746,068 times
Reputation: 7213

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I was at the grocery store today and I tapped a tall guy on the back of his shoulder and when he turned around he was drop dead gorgeous and probably 40 years younger than me. I asked him if he’d mind getting a ˝ gallon of milk off the top shelve. “No problem,” he replied. Then I said, “I don’t know why they put that size up so high since its old people who usually buy them.” He laughed and said, “If you need help with anything else, just flag me down.” Then he winked at me! WINKED! Having been following this thread for the past few days, I wondered if in the OP’s world who he thinks was sexually harassing who in my encounter with Mr. Gorgeous. Me for daring to let my fingertips touch a stranger’s shoulder or him for winking at me and inviting more social interaction? The OP has made it clear that he doesn't think that strangers should talk in grocery stores.

I realize that sexual harassment is a serious matter regardless of which sex is experiencing it. I've experienced it more times than I can count, and I was at a party in the '80s where three drunk girls strip the blue jeans off a guy while others looked on. But I'm really concerned that we're raising a generation of young people who've spent so much time with their noses stuck in their phones or computers that they're not learning how to effectively interact with strangers without feeling threatened or uncomfortable. Friendly exchanges with strangers like I had today come from trusting yourself to be able to judge the intentions of others accurately and to act accordingly.
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Old 11-19-2017, 02:13 PM
 
3,936 posts, read 2,211,567 times
Reputation: 6114
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wayland Woman View Post
I was at the grocery store today and I tapped a tall guy on the back of his shoulder and when he turned around he was drop dead gorgeous and probably 40 years younger than me. I asked him if he’d mind getting a ˝ gallon of milk off the top shelve. “No problem,” he replied. Then I said, “I don’t know why they put that size up so high since its old people who usually buy them.” He laughed and said, “If you need help with anything else, just flag me down.” Then he winked at me! WINKED! Having been following this thread for the past few days, I wondered if in the OP’s world who he thinks was sexually harassing who in my encounter with Mr. Gorgeous. Me for daring to let my fingertips touch a stranger’s shoulder or him for winking at me and inviting more social interaction? The OP has made it clear that he doesn't think that strangers should talk in grocery stores.

I realize that sexual harassment is a serious matter regardless of which sex is experiencing it. I've experienced it more times than I can count, and I was at a party in the '80s where three drunk girls strip the blue jeans off a guy while others looked on. But I'm really concerned that we're raising a generation of young people who've spent so much time with their noses stuck in their phones or computers that they're not learning how to effectively interact with strangers without feeling threatened or uncomfortable. Friendly exchanges with strangers like I had today come from trusting yourself to be able to judge the intentions of others accurately and to act accordingly.
I agree with the things you have said. We need to learn to read social cues and to be able to tell the difference between harassment and silly flirting. The problems is that how something makes another person feel shouldn’t be discounted. Sometimes a wink can make someone feel uncomfortable. Does it mean that the person who winked is a horrible person? No, but we shouldn’t make others feel bad for how they felt.

Yes, I do believe that there are people who take the sexual harassment and assault topic to a whole new level of crazy and lie about situations. The fact is, that men and women, boys and girls need to be taught to be respectful of boundaries and to stop treating each other with such disrespect.
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Old 11-20-2017, 05:43 AM
 
Location: Central Florida
3,368 posts, read 1,795,181 times
Reputation: 11446
Is this the cupcake generation that is now the norm? Does the OP need to get some therapy for this horrible encounter?
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Old 11-20-2017, 07:07 AM
 
12,109 posts, read 6,687,780 times
Reputation: 12955
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wayland Woman View Post
I was at the grocery store today and I tapped a tall guy on the back of his shoulder and when he turned around he was drop dead gorgeous and probably 40 years younger than me. I asked him if he’d mind getting a ˝ gallon of milk off the top shelve. “No problem,” he replied. Then I said, “I don’t know why they put that size up so high since its old people who usually buy them.” He laughed and said, “If you need help with anything else, just flag me down.” Then he winked at me! WINKED! Having been following this thread for the past few days, I wondered if in the OP’s world who he thinks was sexually harassing who in my encounter with Mr. Gorgeous. Me for daring to let my fingertips touch a stranger’s shoulder or him for winking at me and inviting more social interaction? The OP has made it clear that he doesn't think that strangers should talk in grocery stores.
I would have taken the wink as just a friendly gesture. But I would not want some guy breathing down my neck in the checkout line and pushing into my shoulder.

I have become more careful in interactions because a lot of people now misinterpret friendliness or get flustered talking to strangers. If a younger man is nervous that I am talking to him it must be because some older woman has tried to hit on him before, otherwise why would he think anything of it... Of course there are some people who think strangers should never make conversation or be friendly to each other. In many parts of the US chatting with random people is normal and part of the culture.
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Old 11-20-2017, 01:49 PM
 
14,190 posts, read 6,426,756 times
Reputation: 14640
Looks like there are a couple of severely socially awkward people on this thread.
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Old 11-20-2017, 04:22 PM
 
7,185 posts, read 2,753,613 times
Reputation: 3172
Why does this sound like fiction?
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Old 11-27-2017, 05:38 PM
 
Location: Olympus Mons, Mars
5,678 posts, read 8,594,408 times
Reputation: 5778
it's because of the frequency of harassment, I believe that instances of women harassing men is so low compared to the other way around that most don't give it the same weight as a problem to be addressed.
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Old 11-27-2017, 06:15 PM
 
Location: Near Manito
19,520 posts, read 20,898,162 times
Reputation: 13855
Quote:
Originally Posted by k374 View Post
it's because of the frequency of harassment, I believe that instances of women harassing men is so low compared to the other way around that most don't give it the same weight as a problem to be addressed.
Possibly. But that is at least partly attributable to the reluctance of men to describe untoward encounters with women as harassment. Case in point: yesterday at the supermarket, I had just paid for my groceries and was turning to leave the store, when a woman walked up behind me and slowly and deliberately rubbed her breasts against my shoulder, then walked on. I turned, startled, but she was too far away for me to rebuke her without shouting, so I just shrugged and continued on my way.

The difference between men and women is that things like this happen to us, too, and quite often — but we don’t report such incidents, or make a federal case out of them when members of the opposite sex act rudely or boorishly. We man up and roll on.

If gender feminists truly want equality, they need to make up their minds: are women the equals of men, or are they poor helpless victims who require constant protection? If the former, they need to teach women to tell sexually aggressive men to get lost — perhaps accompanied by a good sharp slap in the face — and stand up for themselves; if the latter, they need to consider all men as potential harassers and demand the equivalent of legal chaperones. Our society seems to be moving toward this, with the broad application of sexual McCarthyism directed at men. This will not end well.
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