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"Gussied up" must mean something different to you than it does to me. To me, gussied up means dressed to the 9s, or really dressed up. It has nothing to do with scanty attire, which, if anything, is gussied down.
Yes, if a woman tears around in revealing clothes clearly meant to objectify her sexuality, she will likely get what she's asking for. Mind you, I'm not talking about rape, or even pouncing and grabbing. But she will get whistles and catcalls. If that offends her, put on more clothes. Seems simple enough, even for the dimwitted.
About women's fashion-
For some time now fashion dictates women's clothing be snug and sexy. There are young women that have never known anything else. Sometime around the early 2000s I noticed more padded bras being sold in the young girls section and it became worse through the years with push-ups and lacy underwire bras being sold for pre-teen girls just starting to wear bras.
Pretty much all clothes in the junior sections are sheer and tight, and much in the women's and plus sizes are tight. Professional women's attire is tight. This has been going on since the late 90s and doesn't seem to change. Really high platform shoes (stripper shoes) and thigh high boots (stripper boots) are right there on the rack. You used to need to go to a specialty store like Fredericks for those things. Jeans became "jeggings". And of course, the ubiquitous yoga pants.
These form fitting stretchy clothes are also cheaper to make, the material is thin so they get stretched out or fall apart and you need to go buy more$$$$.
No matter what the intention of the woman dressing up was.
-is she young and single and looking to attract the biggest studs in the club
-or is she a mature married woman who wants to look good for her husband
-or she just enjoys dressing up, it is fun and she feels better about herself
-she is in a field where looks matter, Hollywood and entertainment
They are objectified. Not saying it is good or bad. Or whose fault. That is how it has been since forever. Probably will stay that way forever.
When you love your car, and wax it and polish the tires, you are just showing it off, because you have pride in your car, not advertising for someone to steal your car. When a woman dresses pretty, she is just proud of the way she looks, she's not advertising for someone to molest her.
A rude comment is just rude. It's entirely possible to compliment a woman on her looks without being rude about it. I'm an old guy, years past my stud muffin days, but still get smiles from young women when I compliment their looks. Just last week I met with one of my financial people. She was in her 20s when I met her about 10 years ago. We had a direct and productive meeting. As I was leaving, I took her hand, looked into her eyes, and said, "You are better looking now than you were when we met 10 years ago. You wear your maturity well." I'm sure the smile I got was genuine. Different phrasing could easily have been offensive. If your opening phrase is, "Nice ****," you are just a jerk.
OMG, that is so freaking creepy. Why did you feel the need to say something like that to a woman at the end of a business meeting? Would you ever say something similar to a man? Why are so many older men perverts and freaks when it comes to this stuff? Was this actually considered normal behavior back in the day?
No kidding! I am a 53 y/o woman. I am still in shape, so maybe that's the problem. I go out running 3 times a week. I generally wear black running pants (yes, they are tight), a purple Smartwool shirt, a headband, and my glasses. Yes, glasses. I run down a major road and you would not believe the number of wolf whistles, car horn beeps, slowing down to stare looks. It's just weird. Men seem to be the worst when they are alone in the car and have no fear of repercussions. What is it about the whistling and honking that they think is so impressive?
Sounds like some of the posters in this thread expect you to wear a beekeeper suit when you go out. Those baggy suits that cover you from head to toe. Else they might think you are 'asking for it'.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChristineVA
No kidding! I am a 53 y/o woman. I am still in shape, so maybe that's the problem. I go out running 3 times a week. I generally wear black running pants (yes, they are tight), a purple Smartwool shirt, a headband, and my glasses. Yes, glasses. I run down a major road and you would not believe the number of wolf whistles, car horn beeps, slowing down to stare looks. It's just weird. Men seem to be the worst when they are alone in the car and have no fear of repercussions. What is it about the whistling and honking that they think is so impressive?
A rude comment is just rude. It's entirely possible to compliment a woman on her looks without being rude about it. I'm an old guy, years past my stud muffin days, but still get smiles from young women when I compliment their looks. Just last week I met with one of my financial people. She was in her 20s when I met her about 10 years ago. We had a direct and productive meeting. As I was leaving, I took her hand, looked into her eyes, and said, "You are better looking now than you were when we met 10 years ago. You wear your maturity well." I'm sure the smile I got was genuine. Different phrasing could easily have been offensive. If your opening phrase is, "Nice ****," you are just a jerk.
This is absolutely true. I've never been offended by nice comments- regardless of who they came from. A rich guy, poor guy, hot guy, ugly guy, woman or transgender individual.
There is a difference between rude and inappropriate comments and compliments. It baffles me how many people don't seem to know where that line is drawn.
The oddity that people forget is ... "everything" of 'human realism and person" they don't take time to learn and understand before sex... may be the very same things that "trip them up" after sex. Therefore, it is better for the individual to take time and pay attention and Learn the Persons character, before you "jump in the bed and start connecting bodies"... !!!!
Everything that looks good, may not be of the "character type" that fits with another's character type... sadly, too many people only find that out, when the "high of arousal" simmers down, and they find out, they did not take time to figure out whom they were "hooking up and sleeping with".
If people just want to have a "quick" and moment of "random pleasure" then they need to be honest about it !!! and when its done go about their ways without trying to 're-justify it after the fact"... or try to make it into something that it is not, and some try even to pretend to make it more than it is, just to relive guilt, of having done some "sex play as in the old phrase "sport f---" for the moment want of pleasure. In such situations, some quickly find ways to create arguments as a means to break it off... so they can walk away and say... its did not work... rather than accept, they just wanted some pleasure for the moment'.
If they'd been honest about that up front.. they could both walk away afterwards and if they encounter one another again, its just a matter of a casual greeting, rather than expecting a particular response from the other.
But... truth is... people are not generally at a point of being of such honesty with each other.
Trip is... women understand it .... because there are times women engage women, and both know its just for fun and pleasure, and neither assumes any obligation or duty to the others, and they go about their business. They may even become friends, who occasionally .. do their pleasure things and not make any more of it than, pleasure.
When this happens between men and women, they sometimes call it - "friends with benefits". when it happens between women and women, they may not even give it a label.
All this stuff in the Media now about who looked at, and pursued who... has many elements of irresponsibility involved, on both parties party !!!! But what no one is talking about, is the number of "women in positions of power" who have pursued, sought out and desired and engaged other women, as part of the elements of job accessibility, promotion or business or professional opportunity. The public knows this.. but no one is asking... why is'nt both shoes on the ground in this discussion.
The other question is.. why did people make a choice, to 'barter with situations" once they saw what was involved? They did it because they wanted the "opportunity they were seeking" and they chose the compromise, as thinking it was the option they were left to choose, if they wanted the access to "opportunity". It may well have been... and in that situation, its as much "abuse" of power, as it is, one making a choice to compromise as being the option to get the opportunity they were seeking. It's none in the "entertainment industry" or any of these "public professions" that is unaware of what is a "casting couch"... its been there .... as some have come out and said.. "they thought this was the way the business worked and how common it was within the industry".
So... there is no "innocent" ones in the game... there are "bad choices"..... and "regrets" . and "one sided responsibilities being tossed around".
During the 1980's when Drugs saturated society and the pursuit of popularity was a high many were seeking, and the phrase "do you party", "let's go party" was so common and everyone knew what it meant. There was also the phrase "do you get down", and everyone knew that meant drug and it also meant sex, and it meant drugs and sex.... So... as people have gotten older and regret their choice... they want to abandon self responsibility and claim blame upon the others in the mix of the madness. Everyone knew during the 1980's Cosby was top billing, just knowing him, or him mentioning ones name, would open doors for people and get people opportunity quicker than they might get it without him... and people were willing to do many things, and some willing to do anything.
Then when they get older and think back, they make themselves the innocent one and everyone else is guilty of something, and their regrets want them to take out vengeance against whom ever they intermingled with and made bad choices as an aim to achieve an opportunity or gain and avenue to opportunity.
People do it everyday... when relationships break up.. "they always blame it on the other person" and make themselves out to be innocent and faultless.
For wealthy and celebrity types, they'd come out better to "get a signed document" if someone is interested in engaging them sexually !!! or they may come out better, seeking out people who work in the "business of pleasure for profit" where its a "closed end deal"... engage the pleasures and pay the cost" and move on... deal done!!!
People are very good at looking back with a "confabulated view of the past". where they are "innocent"... when fact is, look back... forgive yourself for the bad choice, accept the lessons learned and move on to be a better person with ones future.
If one was abused by the various means that abuse is done, then go to the authorities!!! Period" !!!
Self Responsibility is a Hard Job... its likely the hardest job that most will ever find in life... it takes work for people to be Self Responsible, because it means... "thinking before acting", considering variables, situation, consequence, and challenges, and make a decisions one can live with. People rush to want to be adults, then when they get to be one, they want to shed the responsibility, but there is no more mommy and daddy to come and cover the butt.... one is adult and able to make, legal, moral, ethical, character and personality choice.... and many will rebuke even mom and dad if they disagree with some of the choices.
Then when they regret the choices, they even want to blame others, including some even blame mom and dad...or some others.
No one passes the age of consent... without knowing what "sex is" !!!!! Maturity is about making choices one can live with.... and there are people 50 or older who still make choices, they don't want to live with. and there are people 18 who make choices and find means and ways to live with the choices they have made. "Personal Responsibility".
One thing I remember in an Asian country... a woman I met said during conversation, "I'm Always Responsible For What I Do".... sadly.. here in this country.. we as a society are too quick to make claim that a woman is not responsible for what she does.
We've seen some women who have slept with the students, and people have made comment as well as she, claiming the student seduced her. But if it was a man who had done that, NO WAY, it would even be thought that the student seduced him. That's the gender bias madness in this country". They will even blame a woman's conduct with a student on having a bad husband, but never would they say, a mans conduct with a student was because he had a bad wife.
If there is to be Equality, there too has to be "Self Responsibility".....
No more of this craziness as if to imply... Today I put on a dress so I'm not responsible for what I do and I want to be afforded special treatment and special considerations as if I'm not equal, and tomorrow I put on a pair of pants and I am not only responsible for what I do, but I want to be treated equal.
There has to be "Self Responsibility to Support what is Equality" and it has to express itself as responsibility, and do so responsibly.
In some ways what makes people crazy is the "game of " Lady and Gentleman"... the fictions involved and exeggartations of many sorts played within how it promoted, often voids out what is simply "Man and Woman"... realism.
She can and does know how to open a door... and she can and does know how to hold a door for a man, the same as she can expect a man to hold the door for her. That is Man and Woman.
The Lady and Gentleman, is her waiting for him to open the door, and not even opening a door for a man, if she got to the door first, or had passed throught, to not even hold it from closing in his face.
People should think about these things... and then think in terms of "Equality of Person and Human Courtesy as Individual" - then we become to live in an arena where gender equality is equality of person as individual.
It does not void out the element of chivalry, but it says, that chivalry has two sides on itself premise. It does not mean, One opens the door for another, and they walk in as if its was the "duty" of the other to open it, or ones walks in without even the courtesy to say "thank you".
People often do the Chilvary things until they have had a few romps in the bed.. then its everyone for themselves, open your own car door, carry you own bags and etc.... and then people get agitated with each other, one for not having chivalry to continue, and the other, agitated because they don't want it to be imposed as if its a duty... It goes right past, the basics of courtesy.... its then about... rejection of duty, and one expecting something as if its the others duty.
We make for a crazy society... when its simpler... to think in terms of self responsibility and get over having so many expectations we place upon others, that we don't want placed upon ourselves. Its easier to be 'Kind and Considerate because that is the nature of Character one wants to be and how they want others to show and share of their Character. Therefore... choose carefully... whom you engage and you will enage people who have similar understandings.
It has nothing to do with skin color, gender, or who's so called hot and who's not... its about "the integrity" of individual, as responsible person.
Otherwise... keep ones clothes on, pants zipped and legs closed.... in relations to others, and there is less problems as it relates to individual and mutual sexual conduct.
Last edited by Chance and Change; 11-22-2017 at 08:54 AM..
OMG, that is so freaking creepy. Why did you feel the need to say something like that to a woman at the end of a business meeting? Would you ever say something similar to a man? Why are so many older men perverts and freaks when it comes to this stuff? Was this actually considered normal behavior back in the day?
I don't consider what he said to be creepy at all. I would have been flattered, not offended.
Why do you feel the need to ogle them? Have you never seen boobs before?
I've seen boobs. I even have my own. I still look if they're on full display.
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