Quote:
Originally Posted by BigDGeek
No it won't.
I'm a woman working in a male-dominated industry and there are problematic men of all nationalities and ages.
The main two categories are:
- South Asian men (e.g. Indians, Pakistanis, etc) whose patriarchal culture has taught them to treat women differently than men. They're not all bad, but the ones who are bad are insufferable. Preening, arrogant, dismissive, condescending, etc.
- White men under 40, a.k.a. "Bros" who don't condescend to women...they either ignore us or have conversations about "hot chicks" or go to group lunches at breastaurants like Hooters and Twin Peaks, knowing that most women won't want to tag along. These are the guys who will usually eventually lay you (females) off once you hit 40.
The south Asians are the biggest offenders in creating a hostile work environment in my experience. The white male "bros" are more annoying than anything else, but for now they still wield a lot of power in my industry and are hence the bigger threat.
Now I've never been sexually harassed in the traditional sense...nobody's ever made unwanted physical contact with me or threatened my employment or reputation in exchange for sexual favors. Ever. But I've been made to feel uncomfortable, unwanted, incompetent, etc. by them. When I'm not being outright ignored, I'm being accused of being abrasive, hysterical, or on my period.
I've never gone to HR over any of it because it's almost impossible to prove and I don't want a huge target painted on my back. If you can't prove it definitively and absolutely, it's best to stay quiet. Most of us know this.
I've been in this field for 20 years with a little over half of that spent working in the United States (my native country and where I currently live). I've known of very few female colleagues who've ever brought this kind of harassment or discrimination to HR's attention and none took it lightly.
In my entire career, I know of only one man who was fired from his job for "inappropriate conduct." This was in a country where firing people is far more difficult than it is in the United States and conduct that was ignored/condoned from other people constituted gross misconduct in his case. (FWIW, he sued the employer for wrongful dismissal and won.) He was not reported by any female colleagues; rather, IT reported him to HR because they were monitoring his e-mails under orders from his (male) boss. He received a racy e-mail which he then forwarded to someone else in the organization. The male recipient of that e-mail was not part of the complaint.
I'm glad that the current environment is emboldening actual victims of harassment and discrimination to step forward and hold the perpetrators accountable. I would like to see more intersectionality, though. There's just as much discrimination based on age, race, national origin, etc. as there is based on gender. I want society to take on ageism. I want society to take on anti-black discrimination. I want society to take on anti-Americanism in IT.
We're only scratching the surface here. |
I'm man that worked in the Restaurant business for a number of years.
Most of the time I worked in majority female work environments; female managers, female co-workers.
I have never once encountered a female that was in any way concerned that I (males in general) might be held to a much higher standard of accountability.
I have never once encountered a female that was in any way concerned that her behavior might be inappropriate.
No, female customer, as a matter of fact I'm not a male stripper!
Thanks for asking.
No, female co-worker, I really don't want to know what happened at your bachelorette party!
Thanks for sharing.
Hey everyone, Jenny is turning eighteen!
Any of you guys (male co-workers) wanna strip at her party?
Common, we need a volunteer!
No thanks, female co-worker.
All of these things happened (the first two repeatedly) and that's all just fine and dandy because it was females doing it instead of males.
The fact of the matter is that there is more than just a double standard applied to men in these situations.
Women are sexual royalty and men are an untouchable underclass.
This is why women can do pretty much whatever they want without fear of consequences.
Men know that complaining about female inappropriateness will be mocked (I'll get it here just as soon as I post this) and turn every female in the establishment against them.
Women expect this special treatment and rules/penalties that only apply to men.
They will unite and fight fiercely to protect their advantage over men.
Lately, this advantage has morphed into weaponized victimhood.
Because a woman is free from any serious scrutiny of her story (not to mention consequences if she is found to have lied), she may destroy any man's life based on nothing more than uncorroborated hearsay.
The piling on of one Gloria Allred client after another isn't seen as mass hysteria advanced by greedy false accusers.
Instead, the number of baseless accusations becomes the evidence of wrongdoing where no real evidence exists.
And while I can't say that I don't enjoy seeing the left, the Dr. Frankenstein to this life destroying sexual harassment monster, being force-fed their own, still, this is a very dangerous road for all of us to take.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
