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Bullying doesn't come from a lack of parenting all the time. In the old days, it was abusive parents that were said to create bullies or kids from broken homes. Nowadays, it is easy as "I don't like Brad so I'm gonna start a rumor online" or "Betty looked at your man, let's say she is a ****." Not all have two parent families or bad parents, just the kids don't care about whatever because they hate whomever for whatever real or perceived reason.
The poster did not say it does. Turning off social media or cutting back on technology use (very easy to do btw) DOES lessen the impact cyberbullying has though. It can't get to you if you aren't reading it.
The idea to stay away from what is upsetting you or affecting you is not an ignorant one. It would be more ignorant to say "stop going to school," if being bullied in person at school, because that's far less realistic than cutting down time on social media, which requires actively logging into social media apps or going onto websites, or not blocking phone numbers or social media accounts of people who are harassing you. Like I said in my post you otherwise disregarded, most 13 year olds aren't mature enough for social media accounts and smart phones. The quicker parents realize this, the better.
Cut back on or at least heavily monitor your kids' social media posts. All of you. For all you know, they could be the ones doing the bullying. It's so easy to do, and also so easy to step away from.
No it won't. It just slows how fast it gets to Brad or Betty that they are being attacked online. It will get back to them eventually from a friend. All you are doing is delaying the inevitable. I do think social media needs to get reined in but the how I would do it for my future kids is an unknown to me. I'm sure my parents are glad they had me and my brother when they did for this reason.
No it won't. It just slows how fast it gets to Brad or Betty that they are being attacked online. It will get back to them eventually from a friend. All you are doing is delaying the inevitable. I do think social media needs to get reined in but the how I would do it for my future kids is an unknown to me. I'm sure my parents are glad they had me and my brother when they did for this reason.
Most kids, especially pre-teen and teenage, are engrossed in social media, on it all the time. I have a 12 year old family member who is hooked to her phone. She has multiple social media accounts and frequently posts, tagging her friends and always engaging. Her slightly younger brother, always on his iPad. Sounds bad, and I think it is, but it's normal for their age groups unfortunately. It's how things are now. The bullying may not get back to them in person to the same degree reading anything nasty directly from the source would. Someone in school who has friends and a good support system will probably be okay. Someone who spends most of her free time obsessing on social media about things people are saying or doing or engaging in texting or otherwise contact with the bullies will be far less okay. Nothing is worse than actually engaging directly. Escaping social media or technology can help someone escape the abuse that may come with it.
Here is the thing, you cannot control what other people do. You can try to talk to the bullies themselves, their parents, school admin, coaches, etc. etc. And what if it doesn't work, especially if most of what is going on is happening outside of school? When your kid is AT HOME and being bullied via her cell phone? Kids need to learn the best they can to cope. They need to ditch the negative influences (yes, which would include significantly cutting back on technology use time in this context). They need to otherwise be surrounded by positivity and distracted. They need to learn that it will all be okay in the end and this time, when they are 13, doe not define and impact the rest of their lives as much they think it does. The excessive use of smart phones and other technology today hiders them. The fact that you cannot control THEM is why people are saying to get physical with the bullies - however, it's different today because bullying is less physical. So we need to find other means to handle it. And yeah, sorry, but that may include, among other things, not engaging with the technology it's perpetuating on.
I think it's hard for parents to adjust, anyone really, because like I said, we did not grow up the way these kids are. It's a totally different environment they are growing up in. They are the first ever generation growing up with such extensive technology use and all that comes with it.
Yes, my child has PTSD. She wakes up with nightmares and sleep walks. She used try to fake being sick because of the bullies. There are 5 other kids just like her that moved to the same school she is at now. I had no idea a child could have PTSD but it happens often.
You do understand anybody can have PTSD?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Timmyy
I threw my child into the mix to make a point about bullying. You are all making it seem as if bullying is something not to take serious. Sad.
As I said earlier I was bullied. I remember being sick to my stomach not wanting to go to school because I knew what awaited me. My parents thought I was faking but I wasn't. My stomach was clenched in fear. I couldn't sleep, I was paranoid. It was a bad scene. Don't let anonymous people rattle you. Those of us who've dealt with bullying know what you say to be true. <3 I hope your daughter is doing better now. I know its an old saw, but honestly, my biggest bullies are now grown up and in loveless marriages, have drug and alcohol problems, and most of their kids are following in their footsteps. When your DD is older, she'll know the tough stuff she is made of and how those people really don't matter. But its easier when you don't have to see those people every day.
I am going to have disagree, the problem is today it isn't throwing paper balls, knocking over books, shakedown, ect. It is now **** shaming, body shaming and lots of other things. It isn't so much physical bullying today and I don't think people realize this.
I was born in 1985, dude.
Nothing has changed much. It has always been physical violence, body shaming, spreading rumors, and lot of other things. You are too ugly, too pretty, too short, too tall, too popular, too dorky, no matter what you are, you would be bullied. This is nothing new.
Bottom line, no matter how you've been bullied, hiding and faking (pretending it does not exist) won't work. Children need to be taught there will always be bullies out there, and they need to learn to defend themselves. Either self defense skills or using law to sue. Parents need to learn to believe their children. Work as a team.
Last edited by lilyflower3191981; 12-06-2017 at 05:12 PM..
Nothing has changed much. It has always been physical violence, body shaming, spreading rumors, and lot of other things. You are too ugly, too pretty, too short, too tall, too popular, too dorky, no matter what you are, you would be bullied. This is nothing new.
Bottom line, no matter how you've been bullied, hiding and faking (pretending it does not exist) won't work. Children need to be taught there will always be bullies out there, and they need to learn to defend themselves. Either self defense skills or using law to sue. Parents need to learn to believe their children. Work as a team.
I have children and nieces and nephews, along with all their friends, who were born about 20 years after you.
I have children and nieces and nephews, along with all their friends, who were born about 20 years after you.
MUCH has changed for children today.
Like what has changed? please educate me?
The reasons they bully your nephews and nieces have changed?
All I am saying is that regardless HOW they choose to bully your kids, hiding and faking it (pretending it doesn't exist) won't help
Either teaching them self defense skills, or using laws to protect yourself. Parents need to believe their children and work with children as a team.Also, teach your children that although suicidal thoughts are COMMON, they are never NORMAL.
What exactly are you disagreeing with? I don't buy this whole my generation is worse than yours crap. My nephews and Godson are six years old. They were taught the exact same thing.
The reasons they bully your nephews and nieces have changed?
All I am saying is that regardless HOW they choose to bully your kids, hiding and faking it (pretending it doesn't exist) won't help
Either teaching them self defense skills, or using laws to protect yourself. Parents need to believe their children and work with children as a team.Also, teach your children that although suicidal thoughts are COMMON, they are never NORMAL.
What exactly are you disagreeing with? I don't buy this whole my generation is worse than yours crap. My nephews and Godson are six years old. They were taught the exact same thing.
Luckily, and sadly, the only two who deal with bullying are the two youngest, both in intermediate schools. The others, for whatever reason, are quite adept at not caring about the popular kids, having their own social circles, being involved in activities which have likeminded kids, etc.
These kids, the Homeland generation, are very different from your generation and mine. They think differently. They quite literally grew up with tablets and cell phones at a finger's width away. Their way of socializing and playing together is very different from ours.
I totally agree with self defense and believing your kids.
I actually think this new generation is pretty cool. They have a lot of good ideas. They are innovative thinkers and get along quite well together overall. Or maybe they've all been good at picking good friends.
My kids, nieces and nephews are all about 5-10 years older than your nephews and godson.
Luckily, and sadly, the only two who deal with bullying are the two youngest, both in intermediate schools. The others, for whatever reason, are quite adept at not caring about the popular kids, having their own social circles, being involved in activities which have likeminded kids, etc.
These kids, the Homeland generation, are very different from your generation and mine. They think differently. They quite literally grew up with tablets and cell phones at a finger's width away. Their way of socializing and playing together is very different from ours.
I totally agree with self defense and believing your kids.
I actually think this new generation is pretty cool. They have a lot of good ideas. They are innovative thinkers and get along quite well together overall. Or maybe they've all been good at picking good friends.
My kids, nieces and nephews are all about 5-10 years older than your nephews and godson.
I have a friend who has been constantly bullied when he was a kid.
He said, he resents his parents because
A. they don't believe in self-defense class
B. they neglected his physical appearance and made him a target
C. they refused to believe he was bullied. "suck it up and deal with it" is what they said.
I believe in self-defense classes and all my nephews and Godson are currently taking Karate lessons. They are outdoor kids. lol
I also believe Kindness is like a muscle. For some it may be naturally stronger, but every person can build that muscle with practice. And practicing kindness can be simple if we build it into our routine.
This said, cyberbullying is real.
The AAP study also found that social media use by tweens and teens had both positive and negative effects on their emotional and social growth.
The "experts" suggest that children under 13 should not be using social media at all. (I forgot the link) I agree.
It's hard for a lot of parents today because they weren't raised on social media, so they don't understand how severe the danger is, Most parents are afraid to have that dialogue, but children in third-, fourth- and fifth-grade are starting to sext and to become victims of cyberbullying. It's in elementary schools now. It's a very important topic for parents these days.
Honestly, if you (the general term) worry about facebook, wait you see what is going on on apps like Twitter, YikYak, Snapchat and Instagram. Children should have WebWatcher and Net Nanny on their phones to monitor their social media behavior in my opinion.
I use ooVoo Kik Snapchat Twitter YouTube Periscope YikYak Instagram Skout, 9GAG, Tinder and Vine for my associates and businesses. I don't want my nephews and godson to use them, that is for sure.
I have a friend who has been constantly bullied when he was a kid.
He said, he resents his parents because
A. they don't believe in self-defense class
B. they neglected his physical appearance and made him a target
I believe in self-defense classes and all my nephews and Godson are currently taking Karate lessons. They are outdoor kids. lol
I also believe Kindness is like a muscle. For some it may be naturally stronger, but every person can build that muscle with practice. And practicing kindness can be simple if we build it into our routine.
This said, cyberbullying is real.
The AAP study also found that social media use by tweens and teens had both positive and negative effects on their emotional and social growth.
The "experts" suggest that children under 13 should not be using social media at all. (I forgot the link) I agree.
It's hard for a lot of parents today because they weren't raised on social media, so they don't understand how severe the danger is, Most parents are afraid to have that dialogue, but children in third-, fourth- and fifth-grade are starting to sext and to become victims of cyberbullying. It's in elementary schools now. It's a very important topic for parents these days.
I agree with everything except the next to the last paragraph.
Both of my children, and my nieces and nephews, have had to use the internet and some form of social media since about 3rd grade. Google Classroom, Facebook classroom groups, blogging forums, etc. They are all part of today's educational experience. Also, whether we want to admit it or not, kids today communicate via text and messaging. That's really just the way it is. People may think its a cop out but I think its the same thing as when parents would complain about their kids being on landline phones all the time. It is what it is.
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