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Personally , I believe bullying , to an extent is crucial in the development of how to deal with situations in our lives. I've bullied, and I've been bullied. I took away a lot of learning from each one of those things which I believe has helped me deal with people thru out my life.
Now the bullying seems to have gone to extremes though, mostly thru social media. So I do understand that it is different although how we are teaching our kids to react to it isn't helping them. We can see that. What is the answer though ? What we are doing now isn't working.
Aren't you talking about razzing someone? Teasing someone? Giving them a hard time? That's part of socialization and teaches us skills.
When someone continuously goes out of their way to make negative comments about you, and gets other kids involved so they're laughing at you and you're humiliated publicly, and they tell you that you're a useless piece of garbage who should just die and nobody would miss you if you kill yourself - that's not teasing or ribbing someone, that's a campaign of destruction.
Kids are emotionally charged anyway. Just because a kid kills himself because he/she cannot take it anymore doesn't mean they were sick individuals or simply too soft.
Bullies in school back in the 60's (my era) are still bullies. You see them online. They just became adults and never really changed. When I see an adult online bullying others I automatically assume this is how they were as a kid.
Just to add - the Internet does make it much easier I must admit and it's sad.
People who excuse it and blame the victim must either be bullies or the parents of bullies. No well-read person who doesn't fall into those categories would even write something like this.
There is reading about it and there is living it. Maybe you don't see the irony in your response. Shaming/labeling those with whom you disagree?
Well I don't like to hear of kids killing themselves and we have a better shot taking a two pronged approach- anti-bullying policies, and instilling a sense of resilience in our kids. The second part is just as important as the first. If you want to call that victim blaming, have at it and nothing changes.
Boomers, what were expected of victims of bullying when you were in school?
Don't put up with it.
Fight back.
That doesn't necessarily mean with fists. Just stand up to whoever the bully is and let him/her know that it's done with. If it then devolves into fists, then wail on 'em.
At least, that was my method. After I whupped a few butts, it all stopped.
Aren't you talking about razzing someone? Teasing someone? Giving them a hard time? That's part of socialization and teaches us skills.
When someone continuously goes out of their way to make negative comments about you, and gets other kids involved so they're laughing at you and you're humiliated publicly, and they tell you that you're a useless piece of garbage who should just die and nobody would miss you if you kill yourself - that's not teasing or ribbing someone, that's a campaign of destruction.
Kids are emotionally charged anyway. Just because a kid kills himself because he/she cannot take it anymore doesn't mean they were sick individuals or simply too soft.
I am, but it is all labeled "bullying" now. And I totally agree with you. Although, anything that you mentioned above is now handled as bullying. I think kids are missing on the socialization skills that they used to get. And we are seeing in more and more. For instance, look at the latest school shooting in NM. 21 , hated life, hated his job, no coping skills. So he decides to take lives, then his own. Remember the poor little rich kid that couldn't cope with the rejection from a girl he liked ? He tried to run her down with his BMW. Many of these incidents seem to be committed by the same age group.
Most likely, it was taken care of in the schoolyard, without hand-wringing teachers following the kids around to keep them "safe."
Yes it was... The bully and a number of their friends would gang up on the victim.
In my school, the jocks were the worst offenders, they were also treated as heroes because they could play football.
Of course excuses were made. All the victim had to do was fight back and the bully would respect them for it. No the reality was the Bully and his or friends would continue the abuse until they found a new victim.
times don't compare, instant communications creates a new situation
Quote:
Originally Posted by knowledgeiskey
Were there campaigns to end bullying? Were kids told to just deal with it and "man up?" I'm asking in light the whole Keaton controversy, but that's another topic.
Big diff, no social media instant communication or lawyers.
Typical, meet me on the hill after school!
I would always tell the bully, 'let's go for it now! right in the middle of class. Never lost to a bully. bully became friendly after confrontation he never expected. Bully's expect a certain outcome, that is their security. Mess with their expectations and they fold. Always remember there is someone crazier than you and willing to go to the extremes you wouldn't, that's what makes a bully a bully.....perception . Good Judgment, fast talking and bluffing is mandatory as 1st line of defense.
Did get suspended for tossing a teacher over a lunch table while a guy was trying to beat me. didn't know who was grabbing me. so teach went flying. Me and the kid who started the fight were suspended for 3 days. He showed up at my house with his shotgun and we went off into the swamps and claybanks duck hunting together.
'sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me'.... trite advice from yesteryear, gold refrain for today
My experience was a little different. First of all, my parents and my sister were all bullies, so there was no safe space at home or really anywhere but the library or the woods. My problem was that I believed what I had been taught in Sunday School--Jesus said "If thine enemy strike thee upon thy cheek, turn and offer him the other." It was only later when I learned about hypocrisy that I realized that no one really believed that.
As a tiny, brainy, underage student during desegregation in the 1960s, I bought into the peaceful non-violence practiced by the Freedom Riders who came through Mississippi. Because I was friendly with the black children, the biggest, meanest bully of the school, who was huge and overage, came up to me on the yard in seventh grade with a group of his lackeys to call me the worst thing he could think of. When he called me a n!gger lover, I just looked up at him and said "Jesus said to love everyone. Don't you?"
I don't fully recall what happened after that, but they must have walked away thinking that I was weirder than they had thought, because they did not attack me physically. I have never been in a fight with anyone but my sister. I still believe in peaceful resolution to interpersonal conflicts, and I used the same technique several times, even into my adult years.
So it is possible to neither fight back, nor run away. I have always stood my ground and stood for what is right. If someone wants to fight me, they will not succeed, because I will not fight back. I still don't understand why people want to teach their children to be Christians, but not to follow the teachings of Christ. I probably never will.
Last day of jr high school this 5 ft 110 lbs girl ( me) sucker punched that boy into oblivion - few years earlier older girl, well I had most of her hair on the ground. You earn your respect the hard way if you have to. I am still non violent - but don’t push your luck. Now always been bullies . But they stopped the victims from standing firm and fighting back by punishing them too, I think that is very wrong. They even call the cops on you in grade school.
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Boomers, what were expected of victims of bullying when you were in school?
