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To avoid a he said, she said situation, make sure you have some type of proof (if you can) or witnesses before you go to HR or the police. An abuser will not stop at one time, they will keep doing it and doing it. be creative and get some evidence then report it.
Excuses? Wow you really are not reading this thread are you. I guess it’s fine for you to just shout at the top of your lungs “to do the right thing” and yet not even address the many issues myself and others have brought up. That’s ok. Stay in your safe delusional little world. Keep victim blaming and making those who have been victimized feel responsible for every single crime/assault committed against another person. Keep removing the blame from the ones who hurt others and throwing it on the victims.
Actually what you should do is spend time at a sexual assault and abuse center and talk to people who have been victims. Really listen though so you can fully grasp the gravity of what they’ve been through and how it affects them all the time. In fact there are a few heartless people in this thread who need to do that. Wake the F up!
It's hard to overlook things when you have proof. Emails, text messages, photos etc.
They will often wilfully overlook things because the person who is the perpetrator has some high up position in the company, which was the case of the employee at the place I worked who was allowed to continually harass female employees for over 5 years in a variety of ways. They had lots of concrete evidence but he was friends with the CEO of the company and so his behavior was overlooked until it crossed the line and the company was sued and had to pay out a sh**load of money.
It's hard to overlook things when you have proof. Emails, text messages, photos etc.
Do you really think that they would believe Mary, the lowly intern, over Bob, the manager who brings in major money to the firm? Often there is not physical evidence that you can present to HR or the police because sexual predators are smart. It's going to be more of a he said, she said kind of case. Maybe Mary wrote down every time Bob said something suggestive but that is still a he said, she said kind of case. Even if there are witnesses, they might not want to get involved for fear of damaging their own career.
Depending on how 'small' the industry is, it is not that easy to get another job. If the perpetrator is influential, he might spread the word around that you are 'difficult' or not a 'team player'. Do future employers want to take a chance on someone with that label? Women who come forward also risk having their whole lives scrutinized- past sexual experiences are brought up, her mannerisms, choice of clothing- all of this is brought up in order to discredit the woman.
And what makes you think that just because a woman has the proof that you suggest, that she will be believed and the perpetrator dealt with immediately? At least one of Weinstein's victims went to the police to report a rape- was anything done?
Then get another job. You keep coming out with excuses and different scenarios. Whats next?
One can not always just get another job. If I could just get another job in my field with comparable pay/benefits and commute I would today. The jobs in my area dont exist, in order to relocate I would have to sell my property, find homes for or sell my animals, pull my kid out of school, sports away from friend and family. So yes women have often just had to take it. All this because a supervisor cant keep his hands or comments to himself?
I work in a male dominated field but I am not easily offended. There are plenty of things that some would probably consider sexual harassment that have occurred at my employment over the past 20 years but unless its actual touching or intimidation I dont have a problem with it. Thankfully my boss doeskin tolerate that. There were two instances of unwanted touching, employees were comfortable reporting it and he put a stop to it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ma5cmpb
Were not talking about things that happened 20-30 years ago, I'm talking about now.You get can get proof by saving emails, text messages etc
We are only talking about this now because of the allegations of misconduct 20-30 years ago are just now being aired and that is because of the #metoo movement. So yes hopefully NOW because of all this people will be able to report misconduct when it occurs.
Do you really think that they would believe Mary, the lowly intern, over Bob, the manager who brings in major money to the firm? Often there is not physical evidence that you can present to HR or the police because sexual predators are smart. It's going to be more of a he said, she said kind of case. Maybe Mary wrote down every time Bob said something suggestive but that is still a he said, she said kind of case. Even if there are witnesses, they might not want to get involved for fear of damaging their own career.
Depending on how 'small' the industry is, it is not that easy to get another job. If the perpetrator is influential, he might spread the word around that you are 'difficult' or not a 'team player'. Do future employers want to take a chance on someone with that label? Women who come forward also risk having their whole lives scrutinized- past sexual experiences are brought up, her mannerisms, choice of clothing- all of this is brought up in order to discredit the woman.
And what makes you think that just because a woman has the proof that you suggest, that she will be believed and the perpetrator dealt with immediately? At least one of Weinstein's victims went to the police to report a rape- was anything done?
So we just go back to the 1950's mentality and treat women like second class citizens. i get it. These abusers start somewhere, somebody has to step up in order to stop them.
One can not always just get another job. If I could just get another job in my field with comparable pay/benefits and commute I would today. The jobs in my area dont exist, in order to relocate I would have to sell my property, find homes for or sell my animals, pull my kid out of school, sports away from friend and family. So yes women have often just had to take it. All this because a supervisor cant keep his hands or comments to himself?
I work in a male dominated field but I am not easily offended. There are plenty of things that some would probably consider sexual harassment that have occurred at my employment over the past 20 years but unless its actual touching or intimidation I dont have a problem with it. Thankfully my boss doeskin tolerate that. There were two instances of unwanted touching, employees were comfortable reporting it and he put a stop to it.
We are only talking about this now because of the allegations of misconduct 20-30 years ago are just now being aired and that is because of the #metoo movement. So yes hopefully NOW because of all this people will be able to report misconduct when it occurs.
My point exactly. If those employees never reported it then the abuse would have continued.
So we just go back to the 1950's mentality and treat women like second class citizens. i get it. These abusers start somewhere, somebody has to step up in order to stop them.
They will just keep on abusing women.
What do think is happening now?
Many female congressmen are addressing this issue now and working to change the procedure and atmosphere surrounding the reporting of sexual misconduct within congress (I posted a link to an article addressing the problems). I'm sure private business will follow. What you dont seem to want to grasp is that the problem has been how reports in the past have been handled and that is what needs to change. When it does more people will report immediately because they will know their complaints will be dealt with in a serious and reasonable manner.
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