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If women only dealt with good men, only had sex with GOOD men, chose wisely, had self respect and a sense of responsibility ... see where I am going with this?
No, actually I don’t see where you are going with this.
Only bad people have unwanted pregnancies? Birth control somehow knows the type of person you are, and only fails if your a bad person?
Real life is not some Disney fantasy cartoon. Good people, who try to do the right thing, and are in loving supportive relationships also find themselves in sucky situations sometimes. It has nothing to do with self respect or your sense of responsibility.
The average age is 8, so no most children waiting to be adopted are not teenagers.
And it’s nice to think that those teens who age out have a family that cares for them, but that’s not often the case. About 21,000 kids age out of foster care each year. 25% don’t have a high school diploma, and only about 6% of those who age out go on to get a college degree.
Other statistics for those who age out of foster care:
40% have spent some time homeless
33% did not have enough food at some point in the previous year
60% of males had been convicted of a crime
only 48% were employed, of those wages were less than half of their similarly aged peers
75% of women and 33% of men received government benefits
Those in fostor care are not eligible for adoption. They are placed in fostor care while the courts try and reunite them with their families.
My ex and his best friend were both available for adoption for over a decade. No one wanted a child who was abused by his mother and found his father's body after an OD, or a brown child with a disability.
Unfortunately, the truth is those placed in foster care and who are available for adoption are typically not infants. I hold no grudges against those who wish to adopt an infant - I would prefer to adopt my first child before the age of 1 myself - but it
Not to mention there are simply not enough qualified foster parents. My ex and his best friend met at group home (read: orphanage) as middle schoolers after years of foster homes where more were abusive - physically, emotionally, and sexually - than not. They never found permanent placement, and aged out into homelessness. These two men are both extremely talented, but never have stability to allow them to thrive. My ex has a photographic memory but was never encouraged or even considered to go to college, and his best friend is cognitively on target but physically disabled but was never given access to occupational therapies or career training that would allow him to live independently rather than relying on significant government help.
And they're the lucky ones. Most of the kids in the group home they spent years at ended up in jail, a parent at a young age, or an addict. None of those are true of these two young men, but at 35 years old they are nowhere near where one would expect. Neither went to college, something that only somewhere between 3-6% of kids who age out of the foster care ever experience, and both spent much of their early 20s homeless. Had the best friend received services he needed as a kid, teenager, and young adult, he might have been able to stave off some of the physical degredation that requires him to need assistance from a PCA for basic grooming, cleaning, and cooking today.
If even a small percentage of people who claim to be pro-life and care about unwanted children opened their homes to help children in desperate need of stability, normalcy, and someone to believe in and encourage them, then I might take their position a bit more seriously.
No, actually I don’t see where you are going with this.
Only bad people have unwanted pregnancies? Birth control somehow knows the type of person you are, and only fails if your a bad person?
Real life is not some Disney fantasy cartoon. Good people, who try to do the right thing, and are in loving supportive relationships also find themselves in sucky situations sometimes. It has nothing to do with self respect or your sense of responsibility.
If, as a female you make good choices, you have better outcomes. That is my point.
If you make bad choices, you have bad outcomes.
If women only bad attention to good men, how quickly would the bad men shape up? If they KNEW that was the only way to get a woman's attention? Would they suck it up and start behaving better? Probably.
If you are a good person with self respect in a relationship with a man who also has self respect and respects YOU, and you get pregnant, you are in a good situation with a good man.
If you date and marry a jerk, you get a jerk for a boyfriend/husband/father. We all have choices. And women truly hold the cards.
Crap happens. I get that. But if you surround yourself with good people, guess what, BETTER OUTCOMES.
You can say it's not that simple, but I disagree. NO one advises women to date *losers*, right? So why do they? Self respect.
My ex and his best friend were both available for adoption for over a decade. No one wanted a child who was abused by his mother and found his father's body after an OD, or a brown child with a disability.
Unfortunately, the truth is those placed in foster care and who are available for adoption are typically not infants. I hold no grudges against those who wish to adopt an infant - I would prefer to adopt my first child before the age of 1 myself - but it
Not to mention there are simply not enough qualified foster parents. My ex and his best friend met at group home (read: orphanage) as middle schoolers after years of foster homes where more were abusive - physically, emotionally, and sexually - than not. They never found permanent placement, and aged out into homelessness. These two men are both extremely talented, but never have stability to allow them to thrive. My ex has a photographic memory but was never encouraged or even considered to go to college, and his best friend is cognitively on target but physically disabled but was never given access to occupational therapies or career training that would allow him to live independently rather than relying on significant government help.
And they're the lucky ones. Most of the kids in the group home they spent years at ended up in jail, a parent at a young age, or an addict. None of those are true of these two young men, but at 35 years old they are nowhere near where one would expect. Neither went to college, something that only somewhere between 3-6% of kids who age out of the foster care ever experience, and both spent much of their early 20s homeless. Had the best friend received services he needed as a kid, teenager, and young adult, he might have been able to stave off some of the physical degredation that requires him to need assistance from a PCA for basic grooming, cleaning, and cooking today.
If even a small percentage of people who claim to be pro-life and care about unwanted children opened their homes to help children in desperate need of stability, normalcy, and someone to believe in and encourage them, then I might take their position a bit more seriously.
A heartbreaking, but most likely and most unfortunately, not a unique story.
As for your last paragraph, amen to that. So how about it, newtovenice? How many of these unwanted kids will you take? Will you walk your talk?
One issue that I have never understood when this topic is discussed is that most do not want to discuss the reasons WHY women choose to have abortions and try to solve those reasons.
Never.
Why is that? If you don't want to stop all abortions, don't you want to stop SOME? Or do you want to encourage women to have more?
Wouldn't you rather women took more control of their lives in choosing better partners, waiting to have sex if they are unsure or if the guy is a jerk, and having the self respect to understand their own worth that they deserve a GOOD man?
I have such a hard time understanding the mentality that absolutely refuses to see this and instead clamors for more and more abortions. It makes no sense. It's like using two buckets instead of one when bailing out a boat instead of plugging the hole itself.
A heartbreaking, but most likely and most unfortunately, not a unique story.
As for your last paragraph, amen to that. So how about it, newtovenice? How many of these unwanted kids will you take? Will you walk your talk?
I would love to.
I have an English friend that finalized the adoption of her second son last year, she is white and her adoptive sons are black. I've talked to her often about adopting. She did it out of foster care.
I also have other friends, a white couple, who adopted a black boy and a Chinese girl.
My cousin is a Native American adopted by my dad's sister. She had a bio son and adopted a second son from Bulgaria.
Two friends are sisters from Columbia adopted by an Italian family.
My grandma was a foster mom to a girl that grew up to become my aunt.
And YOU? Yeah, that's what I thought.
Stop making asinine assumptions trying to look *cool*.
If you are a good person with self respect in a relationship with a man who also has self respect and respects YOU, and you get pregnant, you are in a good situation with a good man.
Sorry, but I’m still not following. How does an unwanted pregnancy turn into a good situation just because you are in a relationship with a good man?
One issue that I have never understood when this topic is discussed is that most do not want to discuss the reasons WHY women choose to have abortions and try to solve those reasons.
Never.
It’s simple, the reason why women choose to have an abortion is because they don’t want to be pregnant. I find it hard to believe you’ve never heard that reason before.
You can try to minimize it all you want. It is necessary for human life.
Yes - the the OTHER component of human life - our spirit given to us by God. There is something special about that - as no other species has the spirit that God has given us.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Freak80
That’s a religion-based argument. Not everyone is religious, so the argument is not going to be very effective in the public sphere.
Actually it's not a "religion-based argument"... it's just true.
Can you tell me where the human spirit comes from? And where it goes when we physically die?
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