Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Politics and Other Controversies
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-18-2018, 01:30 AM
 
Location: Houston
1,257 posts, read 2,646,826 times
Reputation: 1236

Advertisements

I am seeing a common thread in social medial. Everyone is offended/outraged about something. Statements that start with "I feel" or "I am offended by" and a few others are a call to tell everyone that "Hey! I am here, I matter, you should hear me, notice me". The topics can be serious and credible. Others not so much. Telling us you care so much, yet doing nothing else is yet another sad cry for attention.

Before social media we knew to avoid certain people to avoid being an emotional dumpster for a certain persons latest drama.

Am I nuts or is this happening?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-18-2018, 01:38 AM
Status: "81 Years, NOT 91 Felonies" (set 2 days ago)
 
Location: Dallas, TX
5,789 posts, read 3,583,738 times
Reputation: 5687
Offense is a word a lot of people throw around. Maybe sometimes it is what the OP says. Most of the time, though, it truly is strong hurtfulness reasonable people can feel at being demeaned -not merely rebuked for something universally considered unethical or immoral, demeaned because they have some kind of shortcoming or another. It depends on the context, tone and the totality of relevant facts surrounding the matter: tone, personal track record, or overall reputation of the person’s saying or hearing the remark. Hint: If the average person would find such behavior demeaning of their dignity, then that qualifies as legitimate offense. Mere disagreement, even passionate but noninsulting disagreement, is not included.

People usually use offense either too broadly or too narrowly. One side uses the term in a disparaging way to rationalize, excuse, or justify plainly disparaging and even bigoted behavior toward another due to the target's opinion alone. Another side uses it as a way to make a person back off a perfectly legitimate point because that side doesn't want to wrestle with uncomfortable truths (or at least good points).

Personally, I used to think it obvious what it means, but both the broad and narrow uses are a distortion of the actual spirit of the term. Put simply, there’s a HUGE difference between an actually offensive comment and a merely uncomfortable or controversial one.

Controversial statements are simply expressions of views that are unpopular or uncomfortable to hear, but cannot in any way be reasonably be seen as a personalized insult, belittlement, or degradation of the people who hold those views.

Offensive statements necessarily include a tone and/or content the average person is likely to see as hurful, harmful, or demeaning to the dignity of others – especially if said with intent to do so, or with clear willful indifference (practically any example of an ad hominem qualifies, but Style Over Substance also qualifies, as does any other aesthetic-based argument for that matter. The list is potentially endless). This conflating of “offense” and “controversial” only breeds distrust of “the other”, making any helpful exchange of view far more difficult – and I’d say outright toxic for democracy, republics, or whatever you care to call our system of government.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-18-2018, 01:45 AM
 
Location: Near Wichita, KS
121 posts, read 105,396 times
Reputation: 121
I'm crazy. Everything is offensive...No one will do anything about it either...Just ruined the college educated normals with lots of work experience and give the work to the Indians. Try to use the colleges to get into more appropriate work and get ruined even if you have to pay cash.

Just have to ignore it when you hear a sex abuse victim's sister harassed out in public by psychotic strangers doing 'third party attacks' because their churches told them to go after 'those people'. 'Those people' are rape victims, unwilling mistresses, moved to bad area, from wrong neighborhood, worked with sex abuser, fired from bad employer, ratted on boss, critical of churches, ex-wife of wrong people and activists.

I just worked with the sex abuse family introducing around the sex abuser, scare us and let him have us. Live alone and develop PTSD plus terrible insomnia. Cops just threw out victims or allowed them to be screwed so many times, went broke and moved away with no protection. Having our own violent Mr. Cosby for 30 years makes the whole area crazy...May get GREAT work in another city but Section 8 tells you that you might get killed for staying as you make the local poor crazy.

I don't have any response to 'offensive' or rude comments but you have to understand who you are insulting and cops/politicians covered up another Mr. Cosby. Understand the Mr. Cosby thing is actually pretty common to have cops covering up a wealthy sex abuser and child welfare won't even check out kids of wealthy who are bragging about sex abuse. These wealthy kids are trained to bring in new victims and socializing with your kids at school, church, scouts, sports... Media has been tormented down to just the wealthy's children so this is not 'news'. It's crazy.

CAN'T EVEN GET A RESTRAINING ORDER. PLAINTIFFS ARE REFUSED SERVICE AS A RULE HERE. MR. TRUMP/MR. OBAMA and two congresses don't give a damn about Mr. Cosby situations all over the country hidden by cops.

I cringe just like everyone else at offensive or scary but can only tell this kind of story so many times...Cops will victimize anyone who can tell this story and can sustain employment and house the local druggies or wife beaters...

Last edited by misnomed; 02-18-2018 at 01:57 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-18-2018, 01:50 AM
 
7,583 posts, read 4,137,315 times
Reputation: 6935
Being offended or outraged is not the new narcissism. Even as a kid in the 80s, I remember people being offended or thinking how I should have been offended.

I think social media brings to light the way people were taught to deal with conflict.

1. Suck in the hurtful words. You deserved it. Be tough about it. This may result in insecurity. I believe society is moving away from this approach and going straight to #2.

2. Let people know how you feel or expect it through mind reading. You deserve to be treated right and get what you want. Demand it. This is the fastest way to get people, especially family, to do what you want, or to leave you alone or the complete opposite. It attracts people who want to challenge you. I do suspect many people operate here and are shocked at the varied responses.

3. Don't think the worse in what is spoken, but have limits such as name calling or accusations. You are basically listening here, not necessarily agreeing to change.

4. Don't think the worse. Give suggestions on how to change the dynamics of the relationship, sit back and let the other person decide if the relationship is worth changing.

Number 4 is the slowest but also the most private and respectful. That is basically where you form your closest relationships.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-18-2018, 01:52 AM
 
Location: Near Wichita, KS
121 posts, read 105,396 times
Reputation: 121
The 20s/30s are just a different bunch. No discipline and just pacifying kids into adulthood made a pretty tough mess at work and housing. Also lots of churches just teaching hate instead of ethics....passive aggressive, psychopathic and predators is not uncommon. I wouldn't worry about being offended, I would just avoid it all as best you can. These have a tough situation being forced into the parent's homes with 2-4 generations in there, no good paying work, told not to bother with college in some areas because they will ruin you and no real formal relationships for child rearing **EXCEPT GRAND PARENTS** ...Plus nothing that pays enough to survive. Stealing to eat REALLY is a daily reality for some poor... Baggy clothing hides the shoplifting. Olders should just count ourselves lucky to have the education, employment and one-generation living. Things will go to hell as Generation X retires...

Most of the middle class even has NO WAY to use the courts in lots of places. Have repeat defendants who are on first name basis over at court with staff and their great attorney....All rest of us have is rumor mill and avoidance. Complain to cops and may get ruined at work and forced out of your home...

Last edited by misnomed; 02-18-2018 at 02:02 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-18-2018, 02:01 AM
 
Location: Near Wichita, KS
121 posts, read 105,396 times
Reputation: 121
I just stay quiet out of respect and sometimes note another problem I should avoid...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-18-2018, 03:36 AM
 
27,307 posts, read 16,182,912 times
Reputation: 12100
Yes, you do not have the right to not be offended. You do not have the right to be special.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-18-2018, 04:16 AM
Status: "81 Years, NOT 91 Felonies" (set 2 days ago)
 
Location: Dallas, TX
5,789 posts, read 3,583,738 times
Reputation: 5687
Quote:
Originally Posted by T-310 View Post
Yes, you do not have the right to not be offended. You do not have the right to be special.
Actually, you do have a right to not be offended if you did nothing to hurt or harm others or demean their dignity. That's practically the essence of offense right there. Even in that case, assuming you didn't mean to do so, all you'd deserve is a soft-spoken, polite rebuke at most (better yet, you deserve informing why and how your act or expression* is inappropriate).

*Personally, I call all expressions a kind of act. I only separate the two for those who care to see a difference.

Now if someone consciously and deliberately demeans you, with that their obvious end-goal in mind, then yes, you do have the right to be offended.

You have the right to be offended in this case because it's more than just telling you "You're in error!". It's telling you you deserve socially downgrading due to your basic viewpoints alone. If the offender does it in front of others, it's more or less inviting others to think "You are so low-down that you don't deserve access to even the basics of our society's informal "grapevines"/ information channels, helping hands, and resources necessary to relieve the burdens that day-to-day life imposes on you."

That's a very serious situation for anyone to be in - for it makes day-to-day life much more difficult. Therefore, disparaging remarks should be used (if at all) only against those who consciously and deliberately (or clearly callous indifference) commit serious hurt, harm, or degradation against others. Merely being weak, weird, stupid, etc. - even extremely so - is not in and of itself a conscious, willful setting out to hurt or demean others; and therefore outside the scope of reasons to be strongly discourteous to others.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-18-2018, 05:26 AM
 
Location: Northern Maine
5,466 posts, read 3,049,650 times
Reputation: 8011
Quote:
Originally Posted by Squidlo View Post
I am seeing a common thread in social medial. Everyone is offended/outraged about something. Statements that start with "I feel" or "I am offended by" and a few others are a call to tell everyone that "Hey! I am here, I matter, you should hear me, notice me". The topics can be serious and credible. Others not so much. Telling us you care so much, yet doing nothing else is yet another sad cry for attention.

Before social media we knew to avoid certain people to avoid being an emotional dumpster for a certain persons latest drama.

Am I nuts or is this happening?
You're not nuts. It's been happening for a long time.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-18-2018, 05:42 AM
 
Location: Morrison, CO
34,179 posts, read 18,487,967 times
Reputation: 25763
Yes is it very narcissistic. It puts YOUR sensitivities above other's rights to express themselves legally. It is a SOCIETAL PARIAH. Many people are looking for ways to be offended to GET ATTENTION. Get a life!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Politics and Other Controversies

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:47 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top